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@noahgrim.bsky.social

5.1K followers 725 following 1.9K posts

impish man-cunt. Website: noahgrim.com Posts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7x… avi by geraldinepiche.bsky.social

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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I still have 9 spots left for traditional and many more for digital commissions

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 19h

MAJOR FAUX PAS: Accidentally entered Denny’s in my morning robe instead of my lunch robe

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 23h

He makes many good points though

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 23h

I don’t celebrate Halloween because of Satan

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

This Halloween, I’ll be going as a guy who has sex

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I dress like a Frankenstein all year round so Halloween doesn’t mean shit to me

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

If my wife ever found out about my terrible crimes she’d probably ask a bunch of dumb questions like “DUUUHHH WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” Shut up

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Cardboard

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I received my first tube upon my seventh birthday, as is custom

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Her: You’re not very good looking. Me: I’m also quite poor.

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Just use a quieter tube

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

They say that if you fart into a cardboard tube you can hear the voices of your ancestors. Mine say pbbbbbbbth

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Just figured out Who Framed Roger Rabbit is really about a man trying to kick alcoholism via hefty doses of LSD. Good news: it works.

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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 02/10/2026

The rush to accuse, without anything approaching due diligence, artists of using "AI," should be treated with contempt. An artist gets their work *ripped off* to train a plagiarism machine, which then shits out inferior versions of that work, so then you accuse the artist of using "AI"? Fuck you.

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I'm just happy to be contributing to the internet

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

In hindsight I shouldn’t have started the job interview telling them about my violent temper AND knife collection. Next time I’ll just choose one

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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

They might be entitled rapists but lets not forget that they are also flammable

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Careful, the plate is hot. And the fork. Actually I microwaved all the dinnerware for 25 minutes.

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

What do you do if your kid falls down a well? We had to get a new well

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Can’t be helped

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Rebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Time for this classic again.

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Historians now believe I was some sort of duck creature

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Jacking off? Sure, I’ve heard of it

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Blowing bong hits into my baby’s cradle so he grows up cool

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Dark Deeny(they\them) @darkdeeny.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Please if you can, help a queer unhoused person have what they need for shelter this winter. This is a horrible situation they are in and we should all make sure they survive (although we all know they deserve an actual house, we all do)

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"wow what a low effort post." yes. exactly. it's a post

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I usually jam the entrance to the bathroom first

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I’d say my toxic trait is compulsively taking everyone’s shoes at a party and using them to build a dam

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

If you REALLY loved your pets you’d get a professional portrait done by HalloDeeny. Commission soon before spots fill up:

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Are people who don’t listen to modern pop country better than people who do listen to modern pop country? Yes, obviously.

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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

bad news babe a rogue openai agent must have hacked our refrigerator last night and drank 15 beers

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Showing up to a job interview with a fully functional starbucks airport kiosk

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“it’s bad luck to toast with an empty glass” i say, filling mine with lasagna

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

🤠

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

My wife promises she isn’t cheating on me, and so does her nude friend Carl

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Swifties only exist because they haven’t heard of Cannibal Corpse

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🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

🥳 🫀 ________ 🫴🏻 //(. )( .)\\ // // \ / \\ // God ○ | . | ○ forbid || ( v ) women || | || | have 🗡 | || | hobbies ○ ○ ( | ( | \ | \ | 👠 👠

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Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

If you’re moved by this guy crying boy oh boy are there some other images and videos you should check out

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

This is our fault for not going to see the mandolin and grongu

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I’m a bluesky elder and I want my candy treats

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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/09/2026

Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming theonion.com/trans-teen-hatches-nef…

Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I’ve had an original Darth Vader action figure up my ass since 1977.

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Cullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

the much more disturbing "reverse pagliacci" where a clown tells you you should go see a doctor

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Not now, Dad. I’m serving cunt

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nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

*slipping the mcdonald’s cashier a crisp $20* make it with grimace meat

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Where was I on 9/11? Idk, probably porking a couple of hot BABES with my DICK while getting blasted on ZIMA

slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Tubes are better than not-tubes

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slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Combining all of the sauces into a single sauce and ending the sauce wars for good

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slice @noahgrim.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat,” I say, sexually attracted to large boats