Sign in

Tim Newton

@newtnewt92.bsky.social
157 followers 110 following 260 posts

34-year-old dork-ass lefty dad who loves coffee, podcasts, board games, and tabletop RPGs. Protect trans youth, fix your heart or die. I make games at newtaloo.itch.io

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Tim Newton
Corel Gallery Clipart @clipart.bsky.social · 12h
1ELF.BMF
This is Rivyrlas, a woodland elf of House Emorthyl. He wears a green tunic, green hat, and green boots, a quiver slung behind his back. Rivyrlas holds a bow in one hand and a double-sided arrow in the other. A human might find a double-sided arrow to be impractical. In the hands of Rivyrlas, however, a human would instead find a double-sided arrow to be deadly.
0337
Reposted by Tim Newton
David Gerard @davidgerard.circumstances.run.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
henstomper

oh my god the slot machine company says i have to keep putting coins in their machine or Im Gonna Get Left Behind. thats so scary. and it has to be true because they know more about slot machines than i do

oh my god the slot machine company says if we dont give them money to build the world's biggest slot machine the chinese are gonna build it first and win all the prizes. and then there wont be any prizes anymore
28115883706
Reposted by Tim Newton
Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
operator: 911, please state the nature of your emergency me: you know, these days, amazon is a whole lot more than just books operator: oh yeah? me: yeah operator: i see. well. did you have an emergency of some kind to report me: no! leave me alone
675657
Reposted by Tim Newton
Joseph Fink, we're going to win @planetoffinks.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I mean, I do think this one is very true. Malls are still here, but what isn't here is you having church friends. I'm not saying you should be religious because obviously there's a number of reasons people stopped doing that, but that does feel like it's the hole people are actually trying to fill.
3555
Reposted by Tim Newton
the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
One wonderful thing in here is that acknowledges that Iowa was blue forever and forever. Over the past 20 years Republicans have lied to Iowa constituents, failed to deliver for them, but successfully sold them a bill of “we’ve always been your guys.” They haven’t and they’re not
823735
Reposted by Tim Newton
Joseph Fink, we're going to win @planetoffinks.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
having Zach Cregger make a Resident Evil movie is the exact same as having Greta Gerwig make a Barbie movie, and I'm hoping for similar level results
3711
Reposted by Tim Newton
Joseph Fink, we're going to win @planetoffinks.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
*me to my date when a properly funded PBS is described* that's a properly funded PBS
114023
Reposted by Tim Newton
the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
we are so free now. don't be a coward, your reach is fine where it is, if they haven't found you already you're fine. turn off the discover tab and join me on the field of battle
2467368
Reposted by Tim Newton
Down Here For Your Soul @bombsfall.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
It's Time For The Left To Have A Conversation That Has Already Happened Multiple Times But I Didn't Care Then
203080556
Reposted by Tim Newton
Keith J Carberry @carberry.deals · 16/08/2026
Wallet review: I have a wallet made of rubber fire hose and it fucking stinks and it makes all my cards and money stink. Definitely a buy
4632
Reposted by Tim Newton
more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
MILFS in YOUR area have gone SILENT. our SCREENS are showing NOTHING. we don't KNOW where they WENT
3473701942
Reposted by Tim Newton
the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
no no it’s the scrolls themselves that are dead. the sea they were found in is actually the pacific. they were in a sunken chest
1627812
Reposted by Tim Newton
Steve Lieber @stevelieberart.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Reposting this because DAYS, the album from @themountaingoats.bsky.social featuring "Charlie Sheen Reaches Out to the Feds." is now available. themountaingoats.bandcamp.com/album/days
themountaingoats.bandcamp.com
Days, by the Mountain Goats
12 track album
320729
Reposted by Tim Newton
Hermione, Texas Granger @misterfungi.bsky.social · 11/12/2023
the Wikipedia entry for axolotls reads like a Cake song
Their heads are wide, and their eyes are lidless. Their limbs are underdeveloped and possess long, thin digits.
7548721219
Reposted by Tim Newton
Colin Spacetwinks @spacetwinks.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
think a lot about how even in '12 after going "nah i don't think i will" about a bunch of things people wanted from him, obama still had enough sense to go "fucking private equity, am i right? these rich motherfuckers, am i right? and romney's one of them" instead of "you owe me your vote, peasants"
11902149
Reposted by Tim Newton
Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
These "we have made an AI so powerful" warnings are straight-up advertisements, btw. No different than "we have made an Oreo so delicious all other snack artists must relent."
13556631038
Reposted by Tim Newton
ceej @ceej.online · 26/07/2026
“how do you defend bernie sanders’ latest comments on graham platner?” my brother there is simply no need. bernie’s wrong about this one. a politician is a tool, not a god
191814166
Reposted by Tim Newton
ceej @ceej.online · 26/07/2026
the thing about having actual principles is that when a politician I respect does some stupid shit I can just be like, “that sucks, knock it off” instead of inventing an imaginary world where I’m forced to defend stupid shit for procedural 4d chess reasons
3373911335
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Lmfao I was born and raised in Michigan and we're making fun of her because she's deeply weird and has horrible policies, which is a deeply off-putting combo.
020
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
It's Primary Season and I'm already so tired of the attack ads the Stevens campaign is running against Abdul. They literally feel like the satirical attack ads from Parks and Rec, just blatantly grasping at straws and flinging bullshit with no basis.
000
Reposted by Tim Newton
victor @windienine.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
anyway, these thoughts are scattered, but i'm tired of being offered snack food and children's cartoons and a disney vacation and a general air of retvrn to the womb by the world around me telling me that's what a 28 year old human ought to want instead of any form of self-actualization
26611
Reposted by Tim Newton
Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
so important to understand that it’s perfectly normal to be frustrated with a crying baby, you just need to have the emotional maturity to realize that negatively reacting would be insane
352964247
Reposted by Tim Newton
Abdul El-Sayed @abdulelsayed.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
It just shouldn't be this…sh-hard…
7645511154
Reposted by Tim Newton
Patrick Klepek @patrickklepek.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
My oldest daughter has spent most of the past year asking if she could see The Backrooms when it came out. I went to see it in advance with my wife, and after some consideration, we decided to say yes. (Spoiler: She had a blast) www.crossplay.news/p/taking-a-k...
crossplay.news
My Nine-Year-Old’s First R-Rated Movie
Yes, I took her to see The Backrooms.
4077663
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Seems deeply unfair that SNL is on its summer break while we have a person who feels like an SNL character come to life running in the Democratic primary in Michigan. You know at least one of the cast would be able to nail a killer Haley Stevens impression.
010
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Came back to play a little Titanium Court this weekend after leaving it for a while and god damn that game compels me. It could keep me playing one more round for a whole day if I let it.
010
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Been really enjoying @hankgreen.bsky.social's 4x3 puzzle lately, not sure I'll ever top today's performance 👀 www.hankgreen.com/fourbythree
A picture of Tim's results from the daily 4x3 puzzle for July 12, 2026. It says "210 pts. Gold Plaque Unlocked! Streak of 5" and then shows a series of colored boxes indicating that Tim solved the puzzle with a perfect Reverse Rainbow and selected the Hub word first in all four categories.
000
Reposted by Tim Newton
ICE OUT State Fan @therealjoro.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
113816
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Extremely late to the game as per usual but damn, Heated Rivalry is a good show!
240
Reposted by Tim Newton
InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Who is actually under the latex mask?
562364218
Reposted by Tim Newton
Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
We must make gentle the heart of this world bruh
218159
Reposted by Tim Newton
Aaron King @aaronmfking.bsky.social · 03/03/2025
The four kinds of magic in Universel Riche, a forthcoming RPG about a shit world.
513935
Reposted by Tim Newton
Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 08/07/2026
wework
Join now
Newsroom
Q
WeWork becomes biggest private office tenant in
Manhattan
By Christin Bryan • 4 min read • September 17, 2018
301548210
Reposted by Tim Newton
Matt DeLong @mattdelong.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Simpsons meme with Hans Moleman on a pay phone saying “I need the biggest metaphor you have.” Followed by “No, that’s too big.”
107166854145
Reposted by Tim Newton
Musicology Duck @musicologyduck.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
it's going great over there
NYT update from 13 minutes ago: 
Hundreds of people have followed evacuation orders and headed to the designated federal buildings, but two of the buildings are full. At a third, the Department of Commerce, none of the doors are open. People are standing clumped around the entrances. When asked by some of them how to get in, a Secret Service officer shrugs.
158996
Reposted by Tim Newton
Dr. Damien P. Williams, dread portent down from a mountain cave @wolven.blacksky.app · 05/07/2026
Man, what must it be like to have what many of your followers would believe to be hard evidence that god hates you, and have to just like… keep acting like stuff is normal and you're in control?
527633
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I came into this world as a reject, look into THESE EYES and you'll see THE SIZE of THESE EYES
000
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
We live in a joke country for farts
010
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
God this holiday fucking sucks. My dog has been quaking in fear of the stupid fireworks on and off for days.
000
Reposted by Tim Newton
Audrey Farnsworth @audipenny.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
America keeps trying to get me to go to her birthday party and I’m like no girl u need to go to the hospital
85204095087
Reposted by Tim Newton
Topher Florence @topherflorence.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
remember mercury being in retrograde weakens the typical INFJs empathic power so the next few weeks will be a good time to seduce them into your evil schemes and plots
26525
Reposted by Tim Newton
Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
i’m sorry but farming is cheating. you didn’t scavenge those cucumbers, you grew them in your field on purpose and “found” them later. and that’s bullshit
333886636
Reposted by Tim Newton
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
I give The Funniest Thing permission to happen.
592233194
Reposted by Tim Newton
leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
scenes without mommy’s face in them are unnecessary in movies. it does nothing to advance the story of where did mommy go
1458691286
Reposted by Tim Newton
Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
‘Say yes and never do it’ Mel Brooks knew how to deal with the studios
You have some wonderful stories of basically getting away with stuff at the studios.

I’d learned one very simple trick: say yes. Simply say yes. Like Joseph E. Levine, on “The Producers,” said, “The curly-haired guy—he’s funny looking. Fire him.” He wanted me to fire Gene Wilder. And I said, “Yes, he’s gone. I’m firing him.” I never did. But he forgot. After the screening of “Blazing Saddles,” the head of Warner Bros. threw me into the manager’s office, gave me a legal pad and a pencil, and gave me maybe twenty notes. He would have changed “Blazing Saddles” from a daring, funny, crazy picture to a stultified, dull, dusty old Western. He said, “No farting.” I said, “It’s out.”That’s probably the most famous scene in the movie, the campfire scene.

I know. He said, “You can’t punch a horse.” I said, “You’ll never see it again.” I kept saying, “You’re absolutely right. It’s out!” Then, when he left, I crumpled up all his notes, and I tossed it in the wastepaper basket. And John Calley, who was running [production at] Warner Bros. at the time, said, “Good filing.” That was the end of it. You say yes, and you never do it.

That’s great advice for life.

It is. Don’t fight them. Don’t waste your time struggling with them and trying to make sense to them. They’ll never understand.
141180905572
Tim Newton @newtnewt92.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I wish everyone in my town setting off their fireworks on the Saturday before the 4th when the 4th itself is ON A SATURDAY this year a very house on fire
010
Reposted by Tim Newton
stu of the living dead @rinbcage.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
tfw you take way too much benadryl
indiana jones poster with text "the man with the hat is back, and this time he's bringing his dad"
203738849
Reposted by Tim Newton
Sarah Z @sarahz.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Avery is one of the best game designers of our time, IMO. Highly highly recommend checking out her work!!!
110018
Reposted by Tim Newton
Delaney King (She/Her/Whomst) @delaneyking.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Nobody is making profits. It is going to burst and it is going to take all those data centers with it. Keep your skills. Practice your crafts. Hold on to your books. Stay sharp.
20872141396