iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"we're making things better by making them worse" - everyone in charge of modern society, for some reason

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

phone so old that while on vacation i arrived at the restaurant, reached into my jacket, found my phone, an apology note from a pickpocket, and a second, newer phone

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

[sitting on the plane in my underwear] it's bullshit, the TSA lets you through security with a full bladder but as soon as you piss your pants it’s gotta be 3.4oz or less

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 12/11/2024

[the man who can lie]: big butts? eh…

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 09/11/2024

fucked up what they do to gorillas to make that glue

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 11/11/2024

meticulously trimming my insane ramblings down to 300 characters like some sort of experienced zen bonsai tree manicurist

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

i am a veritable font of knowledge, unfortunately that font is comic sans

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"we're making things better by making them worse" - everyone in charge of modern society, for some reason

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

my phone, sitting idly for 5 hours: my phone, the second i pick it up to do something: IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO UPDATE???

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

being surprised that i haven't heard some country song because it's been at the top of the radio charts is like being surprised that i don't watch fox news because it's the most viewed cable news program

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skáld @danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

rolling stone: 43 year old poser pretends he hasn't heard the baby song for babies. and if he hasn't actually heard it, it's because he's a piece of shit

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ceej @ceej.online · 25/09/2026

Be serious. Bert and Ernie are not “in love.” Maybe they used to be, once

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

the thing about people who think that ChatGPT is smarter than them is that they’re right

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

youtube search being absolutely dogshit bad is for the same reason that the grocery store puts bread and milk all the way in the back

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

i feel like it's becoming harder and harder to shitpost as the real world approaches the level of parody i normally aim for

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jenny tightpants @jtp.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

having a PC that's worth more now than when i got it + buying a steam frame using CSGO skins i bought over 10 years ago is probably the closest i will ever get to knowing what it feels like to own a house

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

i feel like it's becoming harder and harder to shitpost as the real world approaches the level of parody i normally aim for

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 28/06/2026

i have worked tirelessly to develop a targeted memetic kill phrase that works on several different types of people at once: "an AI powered pan and scan video player which allows you to watch a widescreen movie on your phone in portrait mode"

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

that's a nice argument, but i have already commissioned a depiction of you as the soyjak at the top of the shame totem pole and erected it prominently outside of your longhouse

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i'm in my kash patel era. small. angry. currently inside of a dog.

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

i feel that donald trump is more like wrongald trump because his claims are quite often wrong

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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 17/09/2026

somebody awful better die real fucken soon so i can use all these mitch mcconnell drafts

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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Cargo shorts? No, car go longs. That what car for

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Possum Every Hour @possumeveryhour.io · 17/09/2026

The link documenting @willvoice.it/Will de Renzy-Martin and his community’s gross and abusive behavior is now public He’s the VA for Blood of Dawnwalker, W40k Rogue Trader, Warframe, Zenless Zone Zero and more… bsky.app/profile/shar... docs.google.com/document/d/1... Bring justice to Katie

docs.google.com

WDRM / Katie Doc.

In late 2025, Will de Renzy-Martin and myself entered into a consensual romantic relationship. Complicating this was the fact that he was married at the time. Despite some doubts, Will consistently ...

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

oh my god "Bubba" really was a horse wasn't it

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

youtube search being absolutely dogshit bad is for the same reason that the grocery store puts bread and milk all the way in the back

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

A phone you keep unfolding until you can live in it with all your friends and memories and wishlists

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

"oh, you were born in the 1900s...?" says the 26 year old, as i turn into a pile of dust

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Johnny Normality (Spooky Mode) @probgobl.in · 06/09/2026

Your dog is a registered service animal? Nerd dog. Mine is a registered party animal. It's crushing a 30 rack of Natty Ice right now. That's too much beer for a dog. Have to take him to the vet all the time. It sucks.

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

A millennial nursing home where they play the original Adult Swim "no kids in the pool" bumpers to calm us

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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

food should be cheaper if it has diarrhea and parasites in it

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

everyone making fun of me for only eating chicken tendies been lookin real diarrhetic lately...

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

imagine if your alarm went off, you had to get out of your nice warm bed, and then you were never allowed climb back in for the rest of your entire life so yeah, being born must really suck

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

today's breaking news: freaky cult leader found to have freaky cult follower, fork found in kitchen, water also found to be wet

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

"whats up" "not much, just doing my nightly put-on-my-childhood-cartoons-and regress-to-a-time-when-i-was-happy, hbu?"

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 07/11/2024

okay that's enough Serious™, back to jokes

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

actually when i showed up fresh to bluesky i was bombarded with pictures of Thomas the Tank Engine's ass

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

if i had a nickel for every time matt damon played an astronaut stranded alone on a far away planet, i'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

please educate yourself about the historical development and present day topography of my crusty anus

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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

I don’t understand what it means when my TV says games are available on my TV. The games are always called like Chupacabra Golf.

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

everyone making fun of me for only eating chicken tendies been lookin real diarrhetic lately...

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

telling a kid that you love "fork-knife and scooby-doo toilet", immediately realizing that your dad 100% knew that it wasn't called a "nintendo", that fucker

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🪱𝔼𝕟𝕠𝕔𝕙🪱 @oddoblivion.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

Cats are like if a guy was tiny and maybe a little dumb

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

little known fact but if you simply run Microsoft War's "slmgr /rearm" command it will reset the 60 day congressional authorization timer (up to a total of three times)

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chris “bluesky” poster @chrisrd19.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

It’s like when your food is taking a long time to come out so your server brings some free bread to apologize for the wait.

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

lindsey graham diving in front of the reaper's blade as it takes a swing at mitch mcconnell

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

lindsey graham diving in front of the reaper's blade as it takes a swing at mitch mcconnell

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Mystery @mysteryums.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

hearing reports that mitch mcconnell has been declared brain dead after spending the last 3 weeks in the hospital, the real question now is, what does this mean for his poll numbers in the coming november midterms

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