iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

I’ve never been in a limousine or brought a woman to orgasm.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

*during sex What the fuck is happening right now? Something feels wet down there.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

seems like the worst fucking people you know are also the ones who assure you (louder than is ever necessary) that they 'have no regrets'.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

Her: You’re not very good looking. Me: I’m also quite poor.

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 3h

You know this dude went hard on some cafeteria whole milk

A passion for sitting sideways against the window on the bus

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

The babies ate my dingo.

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 3h

Long haired freaky people need not apply

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3h

I’m just here for the pigs in blankets. Also my fanny pack is full of chocolate pudding if you want some.

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 4h

Tis the season

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 5h

BABY WE WERE BORN TO PUN

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 5h

If I were to guess, trucks can only be parked if the are driving in reverse

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 6h

i love a good plot hole

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 6h

According to the people that told me to join social media, I should be viral by now.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 6h

Sometimes I get sad I’m lonely but then i remember other people and I’m okay.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 6h

In the 80s, smoking was considered an inheritance.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7h

I’ve been drinking my eyeglass cleaner all day and I’m not drunk at all.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7h

Hoop Dreams, but it’s just Angel Reese beating the shit out of me on a neighbourhood basketball court.

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Sarah Spain ✨ @sarahspain.com · 10h

I can’t believe it didn’t even occur to me that men would use AI to make photos & videos like this. I know it’s not real but it’s somehow still violating & nauseating to imagine some creeper making realistic-looking photos of me kissing them (or otherwise). Get me off this fucking planet.

This would be a dream come true

Pic of man with Sophie Cunningham kissing his cheek

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7h

If I was ever on a Destroyer I would shoot some gigantic bullets at a Subway.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 7h

*from the ditch I’m doing great.

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C. Bukowski @thishurt.bsky.social · 8h

You’re telling me this ween is hallow?

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 8h

Just saw a commercial where the guy driving the car looked happier than i’ve ever felt FOR DRIVING A FUCKING CAR and I wish I was dumber.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 8h

Let’s get sexual, babygirl. *eats an entire large pizza on my own

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 9h

Lost another fight with a beehive today.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 9h

Me: Holy fuck I’m depressed. Lenny Kravitz: Let love rule, little buddy.

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 9h

Kinda wanna watch your mom spin a hoola hoop.

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 9h

iiiiit kindddaaaa feeeeels like a bourbon night, fellas

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 9h

pervert glasses that allow you to identify all the perverts

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 8h

How many times did Kerouac keep time on the 2nd and 4 with the butt of his whiskey glass while traveling interdimensionally during a tenor sax solo? How many brilliant tenor saxophonists died in obscurity?

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 8h

Failing the experiment, a little more each day

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Lady Becky, Baroness of Bunzy, Bestie of Kim, Co-CEO Execubetch™️ @beckybunzy.bsky.social · 11h

Onward Christian Fascists! The Department of War got you. Looking forward to the next Crusade lef by the fucken morons of America, just absolutely winning the hearts and minds of the world. 11/10, no notes.

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 11h

wow I never thought Eminem would do anything that would make me lose respect for him but he sure did go and do it didn’t he

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 13h

you actually don't have to check your work email ever! it's fine! but many people don't know this

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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 13h

Your mom got paid under the table. No, literally, she was under the table. You know why.

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Bethany @ohmyhart.bsky.social · 11h

Unsurprising. Have I mentioned I hate it here?

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Lady Becky, Baroness of Bunzy, Bestie of Kim, Co-CEO Execubetch™️ @beckybunzy.bsky.social · 14h

You got a real poop mouth on you, little mister.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 13h

Someone wrote ‘boobs like church bells’ and I'll never write anything better than that

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 17h

Secreting all the colours of the rainbow.

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Alice McFlurry @alicemcflurry.bsky.social · 17h

Whenever I'm on a stage, I like to stand toward the back so I look smaller AND taller than all of the puny kids in my beginners dance competition.

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chelchell @chelchell.bsky.social · 16h

We need a delivery service for coffee or food in bed. Don’t ask me the details of how it would work. I just want my coffee in bed without getting out of bed

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SPine (tingling) Cellar (OOOoooo) 💀 @pinecellar.bsky.social · 16h

Who doesn’t love a big woman? Like who wouldn’t want to be protected by a gigantic shield maiden? Who wouldn’t want to be wrapped up in a big woman’s arms, lifted and hugged tightly against her huge chest… (Silent crowd) Ahem, B3. Again, B3… do we have a bingo yet?

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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16h

I hope my shame eating in this abandoned parking lot didn't ruin your drug deal 💕

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 15h

Just heard a large tree fall in the woods next to an old cranberry bog. No saw, no other sounds. Feels like I hit the lottery.

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Jason B. Hirschhorn @byjbh.bsky.social · 15h

Packers HC Matt LaFleur on whether O-linemen signed since last week have cross-trained at different spots: "No. It's been predominantly at one spot."

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Bethany @ohmyhart.bsky.social · 15h

Still waiting for my turn to get wet.

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 14h

growling whenever a coworker shows me a photo of their baby

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 18h

i respect the 0.0 bumper sticker because it loudly proclaims I Will Not Be Doing All That and I Am Proud

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Memento (artemis) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 18h

spending my time obsessing over things that don't matter is how i know i am alive

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