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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ

@frigginfrench.bsky.social
2K followers 487 following 3.8K posts

being alive is weird. not a botanist. AHOY! she/her

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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 8h
me, alone, baked on the back porch: what is that? is that a weird squirrel? no is that a... chipmunk? no. that's a crunchy leaf. yes. OH SHIT ITS A BIRD
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 14h
looking to acquire the red and green stick from a brazilian restaurant... but instead of saying yes or no to meats, it's for my desk at work to let you know whether or not it's safe to speak to me.
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 17h
cashier: what size coffee would you like? me: medium is fine, I don't have the butthole capacity for a large. cashier, to my friend: and what size is your butthole?
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 21h
me, looking at a beautiful person's selfie: god, it must be nice to be beautiful. I bet you're not even cool, I bet you're hard to have conversation with because your dark eyes are deep pools I want to dive into. disgusting. must be friggin NICE, dumb beautiful bitch!
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
me, disgusted: did you just raise the roof?!
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
[at chilis this weekend] waiter: what can I get you guys to start? me, looking at his name tag: let's get MARG'D UP, MARK! mark: wait... do I know you? me: mark, mark, mark, you're wearing a name tag and I need a margarita
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
maybe we would all feel better if we spread Elmer's glue all over our hands and peeled it off when it dried
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Autism Powers: international man of hyperfixation
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
commercials used to be memorable. make 7, up yours? scary quiznos creatures? kia hamsters that dance? not to mention every mentos commercial was batshit. if we're gonna keep doing capitalism, can we make it tolerable again?
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
Lakeview Dispensary @lakeviewdispo.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
#NewStrainSunday: Jedi Blunt Plug. The force is inside you.
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
tomato and onions don't be salsa
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
got your ass: hotel edition
punch yourself in the dick rn
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
cop: that's the wrong direction me: wrong direction was the name of my boy band cop: step out of the car
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you look like you're not getting the recommended daily amount of something
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
beautiful bean footage is the name of my sex tape
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
brent @murrman5.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
trying to appear more likeable to the court room by calling it a caper instead of life insurance fraud
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Mormons for no reason at all
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I'm on a mini road trip to see my bff and the scenery is waaaay better than scrolling
Mountains covered in clouds with clear blue skies behind them
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I don't need anybody to walk a mile in my shoes, but I do think you should experience one strand of my long hair in your buttcrack
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
us: would you like your husband clean shaven or do you have any specifics how you'd like him to look for his viewing? wife: clean shaven please [later] wife: where is his mustache?! he's had that our whole marriage!
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
because I'm a child of god, my favorite snack is original lays chips dipped briefly in water
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
for whom the venga bus comes
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
[getting swallowed by a giant whale] are you deadass
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
religion: god gave you free will bc he loves you me: *uses it* religion: immediately hell
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
Tanya @tanya.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
it probably feels so good to get corrupted by power
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
she oozed on my onomatopoeia til I squelched
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
biggie blobner and the liquid cheeses
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
whenever I'm feeling down, I think about the time I made an army ranger cry and it lifts me right back up
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
And I would eat 500 tortillas And I would eat 500 more Just to be the body they said interesting things about at the morgue
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
deadbeat daughter would be a sick band name
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
ahoy and good day!
Friggin French in a black and white dress, hair long and wavy
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
having a puppy is almost exactly like having a 2 year old. pissing and shitting wherever, putting shit in their mouths that doesn't belong there, not listening nor really understanding, adorable in order to avoid death.
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
mona jeefa
Mona Lisa smokin that dank
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
rise and shine cucks
Jizzy latte
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I bet the liquid inside a highlighter tastes like christmas mountain dew
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
my ancient receptionist should lie down and die instead of being the oldest mean girl alive
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
what makes you think you're good enough to think about me
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
they're gonna shit in the drinking water tomorrow
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
we are the biggest idiots and morons per capita
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Reposted by ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ
Lakeview Dispensary @lakeviewdispo.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
You ever get so high you just make up words? Me neither. JEEF.
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
is the pope allowed to jork it?
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
[reading together in a silent room] my dude outta nowhere: kinda wish my dad would die me: lmaooooo
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
acquaintance (text): Jesus loves you!!! me: who can blame him
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
What scene makes you emotional no matter how many times you see it?
static.klipy.com
Fedup Pissed
Alt: Steel Magnolias: the cemetery scene
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
him: *rubbing my back in circles me: *surprise burps* did you... just burp me
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
can people stop fucken dying for a couple days so I can catch up holy SHIT
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
bills keep coming once a month like bad pms
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
you guys, I'm obsessed with soup cubes. this week has been soup week at my house and we always have extra that we can never quite finish before it's past its prime! so, we freeze it in soup cubes and each cube is one serving!
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
quit saying hypothetical shit to literal people
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ϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
my coworker just gave me this, never been happier
patch that says Dick's Taxidermy: Stuffing Beavers since 1969
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