iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

[convenient hand signals to use with your friends at a loud club] ✌️ = two more vomit bags 🤏 = pinch my left moob 🤙 = call your mom for me 🤜 = I’m leaving with a proctologist 🤌 = let’s do gabagool in the bathroom

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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 11/10/2025

My slutty Ron Howard costume is coming along nicely

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 26/04/2025

After you sneeze, Devil worshippers be like, "Possess you."

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 22/09/2025

My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me] My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE

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ceej @ceej.online · 14/09/2025

a millionaire? I’ve got two toilets in my house, man. what more could you want

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

my bf, Gerry Mander, has a problem with boundaries . folks,,

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ceej @ceej.online · 11/09/2025

MULDER: I’m telling you boss, it’s real, and we have the proof. SCULLY: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mulder is telling the truth: we have captured Bigfoot. He’s in the lab right now. KASH PATEL: Is it woke? SCULLY: Director, I don’t — PATEL: Can we say it’s woke? That we caught Woke Bigfoot?

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine. me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

good computer programmer 👇 c colon slash ☝️ bad proctologist

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

"Maybe a little jail time will straighten you out," I grumble as I strap on a knee brace.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 20/07/2025

[Medic Alert Bracelet] ＪＵＳＴＬＥＴＭＥＳＬＥＥＰ

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child. me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

*wakes up hogtied in the trunk of a car* *goes back to sleep*

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine. me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

interviewer: it says here you're terrible at keeping secrets. me: *letting an actual cat out of an actual bag* it says what now?

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child. me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

Her: Trim your beard! Him: You'd rather I have a bear?

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 03/05/2025

Her: You're sure to get awards for Most Ostentatious Costume and Most Adorned Costume. Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!

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Kelly Knox @kelly-knox.com · 18/07/2025

a murder of crows has probable caws

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

welcome back to invisibility class. it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

i hold the febreze bottle sideways when i want to freshen up the place like a gangsta.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

my grandfather would be rolling in his grave if we got him the casket he asked for.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

me: watch this... *places chameleon on my penis* her: what the fuck? chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

Her: *watching a show that bleeps out cuss words* Him: *hears a bleep* Oooh, someone cussed. Her: Yeah, I got a bleeper for you, too. Him: Lmao, the bleep you did...what the bleep...bleep...oh, this BLEEPin sucks!

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

hey dentist office that is in an old house: no thank you

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

*trying to sneeze quietly because you feel you've been blessed enough*

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

If I ever meet God, I'm going to sneeze, just to see what He says. Uh...I bless you, I guess. IDK, usually others do this for me.

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

Me, as a doctor: *charging defib paddles to play "Welcome to the Jungle"* Other doctors in the room: Me: What, the patient has a GNR order!

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

welcome to house hunters. brenda sells novelty keychains on etsy and keith shoots birds at the airport. they have a budget of $475,000.

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

[inventing fish] GOD: make them so they can’t sit ANGEL: but- GOD: no butts

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

Him: Instead of a 3-hour nap, I will just take three 90-minute naps. Her: Won't you nap longe-ooooh, that's a good plan!

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

Her: *DMing from another country* Hi there! Me: *in America* You gotta be high to be here.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 19/11/2024

Cop: You threw this out the window before stopping. Me: Oh no! My drugs! Cop: This is Season 1 of Fraggle Rock on DVD… Me: *gets jittery*

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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

[mixing whipped eggs with chopped eggs] Me: Salad!

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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

The AKC just called to inform me that I have been moved to the non-sporting group.

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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

[God creating the iron fence] God: LOOK WHAT I HATH WROUGHT!

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Rob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Cornhole happens to be my favorite game that is also a euphemism for sodomy and is therefore against the wishes of god.

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Pro is good and con is bad, so they should rename the Constitution to Prostitutio-oh, never mind.

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

[Discussing "final" plans] Her: Wake after your funeral? Him: Nah, just let me fuckin sleep.

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Dead Reckons @gregreckons.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

Her: What scent are you wearing? Me: IcyHot and depression.

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

Buy some mice? In this eekonomy?

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 31/01/2025

My superpower is being a doofus, and my wife's superpower is reminding me that doofuses deserve love, too. So, to all you other doofuses out there, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.

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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

And the boys all lived happily ever back in town.

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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

Normalize bringing a tiny spatula to Mexican restaurants to scrape leftover queso into your to-go box.

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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

I absolutely love going to the mall, I say loudly before stepping into my first Sarcastics Anonymous meeting.

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

me: watch this... *places chameleon on my penis* her: what the fuck? chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?

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JB4Realz @jb4realz.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

giant sized bag of candy: i'm resealable me: that won't be necessary

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The Ramshackle Zoo @theramshacklezoo.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Welcome to The Ramshackle Zoo. 27 years... Zero American Zoological Association accreditation.

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