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Papazilla667

@scottzilla667.bsky.social
779 followers 158 following 71 posts
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
There's an a in 'deaf' but you can't hear it.
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
When I find myself in times of trouble bob the grocer comes to me speaking words of wisdom ᴬᴵˢᴸᴱ ᵀᴴᴿᴱᴱ
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
"I have a problem with potion control." -fat wizard
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
GIRLFRIEND: So tell me something I don't already know about you. ME: During October I call my Dyson 'Count Vacula' HER: I need to see other people.
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
BREAKING: donald trump has died by quicksand. it got all in his hair and everything
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
*googles “beginner butt plugs” on your work computer*
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Shitposts In Tiaras @shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
A euphemist? 🏆👑 Congratulations @scottzilla667.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴‍☠️
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
[trying to open a packet of hotdogs but I can't because I refuse to slow down on my run]
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
[Clown School] Teacher: Oh very well done..That nose..Those shoes..The suit..Hilarious Me: i just came to pick up my son
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
tai chi is short for taiwanese chicken
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Do NOT practice your sweet yet overly-difficult broadsword moves near a playground. Kids are shit at triage
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers my pharmily.
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
after that ship’s botched launch, Kim Jong Un gave the crew a stern warning . trying to maintain an even keel, he then took a bow please don’t unfollow me i have a family😭
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Me: You kids don't know how easy you've got it. When I was your age, we had to flip through drawers of cards to find out if the library even had the book we were looking for, regardless of whether it was checked out. Random kid at the pool: What's a book?
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
[1513 BC] kid: I don’t have to follow your stupid rules. it’s not like they’re written in stone Moses: what
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 25/04/2025
who dis ?
restaurant called NEW FONG
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
[hearing police sirens in the distance] omg babe they're playing our song
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
fool me once, that is IT. i have a zero tolerance fool policy you son of a bitch
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Kalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 15/05/2025
DETECTIVE: we need to figure out who committed this murder DEFLECTIVE: I think you did it
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Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
[after a truck with a “do not follow” sign pulls in front of me] OH NO
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
Wanking Beauty
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
The Little Wankmaid
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
[whenever I see two otters] I wonder if they're brotters
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 16/05/2025
i once got lost between Alaska & Russia cuz i couldn’t get my berings straight . folks,,
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
Taze me once, shame on you; taze me twice, I've snuck back into the zoo
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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 07/05/2025
if i'm in the mood for some jazz i just throw an orchestra down the stairs
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
Why did they call it bacon fat and not oinkment omg I'm so sorry
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
is it bc you have to pee, it’s bc you have to pee isn’t it
here’s why you keep waking up to pee in the middle of the night
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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Her: You're sure to get awards for Most Ostentatious Costume and Most Adorned Costume. Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
everyone's fighting a battle at Battle Barn™, the barn for fighting battles in [seven second montage of battles in a barn and the music is actually pretty cool] whatever your battle, Battle Barn™
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
WIFE: This summer I'm banning you from wearing those shorts with pockets. ME: *barely audible* embargo pants HER: Get out
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Van
a van called hallen ugh so close
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Why did they call it a sleep score and not a slumber number
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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
After you sneeze, Devil worshippers be like, "Possess you."
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Brosephine Wires, Perennial Soup-Lover @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
I remember when I was a little kid, “fuck” was the worst thing you could say. Now it’s the most sensible response to everything.
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Stevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
Hoping the sexy IRS will penalize me
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
it’s crazy that ‘normal’ is a portmanteau of norm (from cheers) & al (from the al bundy show) i haven’t slept in 9 yrs😩
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
person: so what motivates you to keep going every day me: (zero hesitation) have you ever met a cat or a dog
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
one time i was sad & my dog was like “aw don’t be sad” & my cat was like “……….“ bc cats can’t talk, you fucken idiots
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
He Said, She Seder #PassoverMovies
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Afikomen #PassoverMovies
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Leaven Las Vegas #PassoverMovies
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
ugh my posts are shit 𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ’𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
The Men Who Stare at One Little Goat #PassoverMovies
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THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
Mission Impossible: Four Cups of Wine #PassoverMovies
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
My karate instructor had surgery after a heart attack recently so I called him 'my stentsei' lol and then he nunchucked me half to death.
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 15/04/2025
An animated Dracula movie, call it Nosferatoon
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 15/04/2024
me: *stuffing a ham into my pillow* wife: what are you doing me: it’s in case someone tries to stuff a ham into my pillow, they’ll be like “oh i already got this guy”
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Papazilla667 @scottzilla667.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
Her: Trim your beard! Him: You'd rather I have a bear?
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