Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 19/02/2026I’m going downhill so quickly that the International Olympic Committee just DoorDashed me a gold medal. 04215
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 08/02/2026The Super Bowl is turning 60 which means it’s likely divorced, wearing an Ed Hardy shirt & hitting on women half its age. 17127
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 08/02/2026Do you get scared and/or angry driving into Home Depot parking lots? Well today there’s a halftime show just for you! 05818
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Luge is an Olympic sport where participants lay back and attempt to hang on for a very bumpy 58 seconds. Most married women win the gold medal once a week. 12011
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 18/12/2025$400 million just for something to hold Trump’s balls? I thought that’s what Speaker Mike Johnson is for. 043
Reposted by JenniferEnnui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 09/11/2025anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space? 22417140
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 16/11/2025Hillary: Was Donald as good as Monica? Bill: Close but no cigar. 072
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 22/08/2025Cracker Barrel is just Waffle House for people who can’t throw a chair or a decent punch. 523762
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 20/08/2025I found radioactive shrimp tails in my nuclear toast crunch 🤢 813628
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 16/08/2025What did you have for lunch Friday while the U.S. was feeding our enemy, a murderous dictator, Filet Mignon with Brandy Peppercorn Sauce? I had a hot dog. 33111
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 06/08/2025The obvious reason for building a nuclear reactor on the moon is the low-gravity fission potential of atomic distraction from the Epstein List. 38122
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 03/08/2025Fired my accountant because I didn’t like last month’s balance sheet. 0349
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 01/08/2025*logging on* wow, everything’s worse now 416544
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 04/08/2025Somebody at work mentioned how bad the wildfire smoke was this weekend, "it was soooo hazy" and now my chronically online ass is ready to rap about Patrick swayze 25811
Reposted by Jenniferandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 31/07/2025There are Venmo people and there are Zelle people and I've committed fraud against both 920354
Reposted by Jenniferandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 01/08/2025some of my google searches are so impossibly stupid i do them in incognito mode 1733079
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 04/08/2025Great news: The US Bureau of Labor Statistics just announced 0% unemployment with 10,000% average wage growth & 200,000,000 new jobs added so far in August. 27214
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 05/08/2025Dad, what’s an example of irony? Well, the Presidential Fitness Test was just reinstated by a president who isn’t fit or fit to be president. 012226
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 04/07/2025Happy 249th Birthday America. You don’t look a day over 1938 Germany. 11825213
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 04/07/2025Here’s an idea: instead of inhaling 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes how about slowly enjoying one per day until September 18th? 073
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 14/06/2025Per his aides, President Trump has perades. Thots & preyers. 011
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 15/06/2025It’s Father’s Day. Pull out all the stops for the guy who didn’t pull out. 06319
Jennifer @hauntedjennifer.bsky.social · 18/04/2025It’s fine- my car loves its little curb snacks. 15415
Reposted by Jennifermean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Actually, I can't Google that for you 89228
Reposted by Jennifer𝐀 𝐌 𝐀 𝐍 𝐃 𝐀 ❥ @littlegiinge.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Friday coffee hits like a rave in my mouth. 1228
Reposted by Jenniferalias goes here @meanoldbitch.bsky.social · 18/04/2025I was born in the US to immigrants who were not citizens at the time of my birth, so I’m just waiting to be rounded up for the gulag any day now 1121
Reposted by JenniferGreeneville Zoo @greenevillezoo.bsky.social · 16/04/2025The ghost crab enclosure is not haunted. It's creepy af but probably not haunted. 414718
Reposted by JenniferStaced & Whirled @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Cheese is like a wig for your cracker. 14324105
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 10/04/20251) Announce that I’m going to shoot myself in the foot for no reason 2) Friends panic & try to convince me not to do it 3) Doctors warn I’ll be crippled long term 4) Everyone thinks I’m reckless & insane 5) Pause the shooting 90 days 6) Declare myself an expert in podiatry 017947
Reposted by JenniferRick Aaron @rickaaron.bsky.social · 11/04/2025No spoilers please. I can’t wait to see what drama happens next on White POTUS. 27333
Reposted by Jenniferandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 17/04/2025The only thing I have in common with super rich ppl is the desire to shoot myself into space 11541148
Reposted by Jenniferandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 13/04/2025Being nervous all the time is my primary form of cardio 12847211
Reposted by JenniferDrew @dmc1138.bsky.social · 13/04/2025Me: “Hey everyone, first round is on me!” Priest: “Sir, this is communion.” 44917
Reposted by Jennifermean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 13/04/2025I used to think the biggest crime was to be boring so at least 2025 has taught me that I can be super wrong and stupid 112723
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Car buyer: Cargo space? Me, Internet-pilled and brain rotted: No, car no go space. You're thinking of Katy Perry 510732
Reposted by JenniferJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Kinda glad we eat clams. Why are they happier than me 17397109
Reposted by Jennifer'dro🐰 @clowndro.bsky.social · 16/04/2025My tv is six feet off the floor so if that girl from The Ring ever comes for me she will fall out of it and break her neck 522168
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 16/04/2025Why do smoke detectors only run out of battery in the middle of the night? 1317435
Reposted by Jenniferandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 16/04/2025I promise to never be thrilled to announce anything on linkedin 18781159
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 16/04/2025HHS is recommending needles in your holiday candy this year. RFK Jr says "it's good for your little brats actually" 27312
Reposted by JenniferJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Sorry I didn't text you back. My hands were cold so I was sittin' on 'em 04618
Reposted by JenniferPieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 10/04/2025I wish I had the confidence of this man calling himself “Mr Beast” 1814918
Reposted by JenniferPieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 14/04/2025I remember when I was 6 my grandpa took the batteries out of my gameboy because I was “reliant on technology” Well well well, guess who’s on life support while I need to charge my phone? 1441491
Reposted by JenniferPieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 18/04/2025I was really high and I thought Stephen Hawking was trying to talk to me from the afterlife but it was just my air fryer and microwave beeping at the same time 525054
Reposted by JenniferBarbie @awkwardbarbie.bsky.social · 15/04/2025Just ate an avocado and I feel so powerful now 043
Reposted by JenniferIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 13/04/2025I want science to come up with a pill people can take to contract empathy 1832765
Reposted by JenniferIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 16/04/2025Have you told your congresspeople to do their jobs yet today? 3027461
Reposted by Jennifererika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 16/04/2025i’m like a crunchwrap: full of cheese, too many layers, still holding it together 4526
Reposted by Jennifererika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 17/04/2025just bought a liter of soup from the local deli time to turn up 2142
