Reposted by Glis
Well the calendar is about half way there which is great and thanks and all. But it won't get printed if we don't get enough sales (and we'll have to refund everyone) so if you were hanging around for some reason, please don't. The sooner it's funded the better Christmas we can all have…
![[A parody of MR ROGERS’ NEIGHBOURHOOD, in which the kindly Mr Rogers takes us to see local things in his town.]
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[title]
MR ROGERS’ NEIGHBOURHOOD
MR ROGERS:
Hi there
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Today, I’d like to take you to visit some of my neighbours…
[He puts his coat on to leave his house]
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At a wonderful local event,
[We see the cute toy-town diorama of his village famous from the TV show. The camera pulls out…]
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The Data Center protest.
[The camera has pulled out further and now we see a huge DATA CENTER at the edge of town].
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MR ROGERS [joining a crowd protesting outside the Data Center]:
The Data Center is an enormous, windowless, endlessly humming building outside of our town
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…Which has tripled energy prices, drank all the water, and created four jobs.
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[to camera, as if kindly explaining to the viewing children]:
Four jobs! Golly!
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LADY PROTESTOR [probably NAOMI KLEIN, holding a sign]:
In a way, the Data Center is kind of a vivid metaphor for a future we feel locked out of!
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MR ROGERS [to camera again]:
A metaphor.
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That’s something that lets us clarify our feelings about something else.
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LADY PROTESTOR:
How do you feel, Mr Rogers?
MR ROGERS:
I feel like bringing down the government!
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MR ROGERS [now holding a sign and protesting]:
It’s good to have neighbors.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibvefn2z5f2jip2gg3nzidjibzvmh7s3lnqjgjqt6usfzpxkjqbkm)
![[Opening scene is WESTMINSTER, LONDON. Over Downing Street a huge ALIEN SPACECRAFT hovers, silent, still, filling the whole sky a la Independence Day].
[Cut to INSIDE 10 DOWNING STREET. The (then) prime Minister DAVID CAMERON is looking out of his office window at the ship.]
VOICE FROM OFF-SCENE, BEHIND CAMERON:
Prime Minister…
CAMERON [addressing the person behind him, still keeping his eyes fixed ahead in dread at the spaceship]:
Yes?
[We see the speaker is MICHAEL GOVE, then Education Secretary]:
GOVE:
Let me do it.
CAMERON:
For God's sake, Michael, you're the Education Secretary! You've never flown a fighter plane in your life!
GOVE:
But I know I could do it, David. I could fly a fighter plane into the big space- ship...
...and shoot all the aliens.
CAMERON:
But you have no military training!
GOVE:
David
I haven't told you this, but...
I used to be a journalist. For The Times.
[Cameron reacts, turning to look at Gove with awe and respect, as if only now truly seeing him for the first time].
GOVE:
I wrote two articles about planes, David.
I've got strong opinions about aliens.
I know I can do this job.
[Cut to a title card panel]:
AND SO:
[Then cut again to Cameron on the roof of Number 10, watching a Michael Gove pilot a fighter jet up towards the spacecraft, and then completely miss it, careering towards Earth, as Cameron buries his face in his hands].
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreictdw36myuavccr5oqqgsfb2jzkicnjrxhcexhned7ux7ws6oq5ny)
![Cartoon by Stephen Collins for The Guardian. Script as follows:
[scene is Winston Churchill in a bbc studio, giving his 'finest hour' speech]
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CHURCHILL:
The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us.
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CHURCHILL:
Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war.
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CHURCHILL:
If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free
and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sun-
BBC PRESENTER:
Thank you prime minister
4
BBC PRESENTER:
Mr hitler, your response?
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HITLER [in the studio]:
Vell zis is hysterical woke nonsense as usual from mr Churchill
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HITLER:
What we are proposing -
CHURCHILL:
Hang on
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HITLER:
Let me finish - what we are proposing eez a simple power-sharing arrangement -
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CHURCHILL:
What's he doing here
BBC PRESENTER:
It's important we hear both sides of the debate
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CHURCHILL:
This isn't a debate
You don't debate fascists
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HITLER:
Oh here we go with ze Godwins law!
11
HITLER:
Why must you people always compare ze things you don't like to 'fascists, Nazis, Hitler'...
CHURCHILL:
Because you are a fascist Nazi Hit-
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HITLER [standing up, saluting]:
RAUSS!
BBC PRESENTER:
*Please* Mr Churchill let him speak
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibw4ldc3fhslbvxgy2oqrof2oys5kpgh7zu6a5f3usmx3lf4547qm)
