I like to hope for a debilitating head bonk during the pre-match photo op when two destestables play
Kelly Cornax
@cornax.bsky.social
923 followers 588 following 1.1K posts
Maryland She/Her KellyCornaxReads on Flashes
Maryland She/Her KellyCornaxReads on Flashes
![Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?
Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.
You’re right, that does sound grim.
Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.
I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:qnyq7wies2uc56bzqmfz4q25/bafkreief4hu7c6hd6ymgqnsaejlaipfuj7fq4ka2tkix72pionkb3dkkdy)
![“Bongo” Ballpoint pen, pencil, watercolor, acrylic paint, and a little colored pencil.
Our man is in trouble this time, reader. Art supplies are scattered around a painting of an abstract cityscape. On the canvas we see a man in a telephone booth making a frantic call to his cat, Bongo. In the foreground, an answering machine is taking his voicemail, [Leave a message at the beep] --- “Bongo, Daddy got stuck in the painting. Go get help, Bongo.” Bongo stands at the base of the easel looking at the phone. Her tail in the air and ears perked up. Whether she’ll be able to help is open to interpretation.
Artist’s note: One of my favorites from the Spooky Pants book. I was playing around with the idea of a painting coming to life (like that guy in Ghostbusters 2) and kind of fumbled my way into this version. I really draw a lot of corded phones. I won’t stop.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:hkxtqxfvk4xh2roqbkebmoiq/bafkreid675pobhckre5wbkxub5qfu3vaxbls7mpuhlcidhvbbrjw6iua2e)
![[Snapchat photo from a cashier's perspective of a man at a checkout counter. He is wearing a white t-shirt featuring a parody of Andrew Card whispering to George W. Bush, with Bush's face replaced by Ed Sheeran. Text on the shirt reads:]
SIR ANOTHER BAND
HAS QUIT THE TOUR
[Text banner overlaid across the center:]
this dude came into my work today 😭](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4djfp3b27soxcfkxhirydi6d/bafkreifqerayc7q6odbgmdonyq7jhzqvnvb27bifwajuxqdwsyygtb7hji)
