Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 2hI don’t suppose someone could pop onto the back room and kick the machine that updates the Apple subscriptions app 000
Reposted by Brian BoyleLev Parikian @levparikian.bsky.social · 10hJust knocked my glasses off my nose while closing a cupboard door. It’s no use being able to spell ‘proprioception’ if you don’t have any. 10744
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 23hThere's a lovely circular feel to this: MacDermot -> Kermode -> Kermit -> Dermot... and onwards... Kermit's son could be MacKermit 041
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 08/10/2026The superglue will chip off in no time. Repair using epoxy resin and you'll have a kitchen counter talking point for many years. 010
Reposted by Brian BoyleSimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 03/10/2026"Oh, Homer, you're not going as a hobo again?" "Going where?" 240849
Reposted by Brian BoyleRuth Husko @dankackroyd.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I am on Letterboxd by the way 141166
Reposted by Brian BoyleStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Why no bank holidays from now until Christmas? This is why. 8394113
Reposted by Brian BoyleSir Michael @sirmichael.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Are there downsides to AI? Yes. But there are even more positives: CONS -Makes everything more expensive -Will kill us all PROS -AI is easy to spell -Summarises texts for some reason -We were all going to die sometime anyway See? 3 pros and only 2 cons. Hopefully this assuages everyone's concerns 219719
Reposted by Brian BoyleShiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 04/09/20244 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day. On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga 566130133300
Reposted by Brian BoyleStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 05/09/2026From 2019, don't think I ever posted this one 129782
Reposted by Brian BoyleNed Hartley @nedhartley.com · 07/08/2026Look, Death Stars exist now, a Death Star is just a tool that people use. If we don't use it to blow up a planet then someone else will. It doesn't matter if you have ethical concerns about Death Stars, it's too late, they exist, you just have to use them now. 815237
Reposted by Brian BoyleChristina Martin @christinamartin.bsky.social · 11/09/2023I like to imagine Cookie Monster clicking accept all whilst going absolutely berserk. 26916
Reposted by Brian BoyleRob H&ynes @robonabike.eurosky.social · 29/07/2026This is your reminder, in these dry and difficult times, to water your compost heap. If you're thirsty, your worm friends are thirsty. 54811
Reposted by Brian BoyleMyles na gCup O'Lean. @executivesteve.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Whoever drives the Mayo team's bus home now has the opportunity to do the funniest thing in 75 years. 623259
Reposted by Brian BoyleRichy Craven @richycraven.bsky.social · 24/07/2026Circe: I have revealed your true nature! A mindless beast. Me: So, I'm a deer now? Circe: Yes! A base creature of- Me: -So I don't have to worry about the existential human contdition? I can kind of just wander & eat grass all day? Circe: I mean, yes. As a punishment. Me: *Already frolicking* 013423
Reposted by Brian BoyleGlen O'Hara @gsoh31.bsky.social · 19/07/2026'They'll be kicking themselves. They've kicked everybody else'. 🤣 038579
Reposted by Brian BoyleOdd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 12/07/2026“You, boy! Get us some fucking chicken” 248180
Reposted by Brian BoyleRobert Wilfort @robertwilfort.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Disclosure Day but they're Clangers. Emily Blunt making swanee whistle sounds on the weather report. 07115
Reposted by Brian BoyleAl Kennedy @alkennedy.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Forgot to tell a dad joke for Father's Day Here, what do you call a mobster who keeps saying no to things? Veto Corleone 0447
Reposted by Brian BoyleSimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 19/06/2026"Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?" "Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries." 5661109
Reposted by Brian BoyleMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 17/06/2026I once tried accidentally gave a Word document a left hand margin of 5 metres. Got a call from my next door neighbour saying it had appeared on his monitor. 932037
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 04/06/2026You could train up on birdsong, and id all the ones you hear but never see 😌 030
Reposted by Brian BoyleStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 22/05/2026www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...theguardian.comWill this be a glorious summer? You can bet on it: the Stephen Collins cartoonAll bets are off for avoiding gambling ads this summer 28015
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 14/05/2026@vizcomic.bsky.social I don’t suppose you could tweak whatever nob makes the latest version appear on the apple app? 000
Reposted by Brian BoyleAlasdair Beckett-King @misterabk.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Stop right there, outlander! We don't like your kind around here. (Wanna subscribe to m'channel?) youtu.be/OsJz8cDzpgg?...youtu.beEvery Guy In A VideogameYouTube video by Alasdair Beckett-King 732870
Reposted by Brian BoyleStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 02/05/2026Go to bed www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...theguardian.comPraise be to those who go straight to bed with no faff: the Stephen Collins cartoonShe didn’t even check the thermostat … 711922
Reposted by Brian BoyleIan Duhig @ianduhig.bsky.social · 27/04/2026I like using the Merlin app to identify birdsong when walking in Gledhow Valley woods, which are ancient woodland, as this reading clearly shows. 053889
Reposted by Brian BoyleGraeme Swanson @swansonian.bsky.social · 17/04/2026I’ll never forget watching The Wicker Man with my outer Hebridean mum. “I just don’t know where there got all that wicker from” 493099644
Reposted by Brian BoyleOdd This Day @oddthisday.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Today would have been the 116th birthday of Tuesday Lobsang Rampa, who grew up in a Tibetan monastery, had a hole drilled in his forehead to activate his third eye and give him mystical insight, and encountered both yetis and his own mummified body. Well, so he said... 🧵 48626
Reposted by Brian BoyleAngus Main @angusmain.bsky.social · 05/04/2026Featuring Jesus, a Bunny, and a character feared dead returning after a few days. The Big Lebowski is an Easter movie 620367
Reposted by Brian BoyleJames Kelleher @jameskelleher.pilcrow.ie · 04/04/2026It always kinda blows my mind that magnolia flowers evolved long before there were any bees on the planet. gardens.si.edu/learn/blog/t...gardens.si.eduThe Botany of Magnolias - Smithsonian GardensAt the beginning of each year, as the cold of winter ends and the days start to slowly get warmer, we celebrate the coming of spring with one of the first 1234
Reposted by Brian BoyleJohn Bull @garius.bsky.social · 15/03/2026So, BlueSky, one of my passions is the study of tea in WW2. I need you to watch this oral history from three ex-tea ladies from the Bermondsey WVS. Because you could guess for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and you would not guess where it is going... #skystorians #history #tea 911639529
Reposted by Brian BoyleSimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 15/03/2026"Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do!" 220846
Reposted by Brian BoyleSimpsonsQOTD @simpsonsqotd.bsky.social · 13/03/2026"Oh, lousy Smarch weather." 322789
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 12/03/2026I was so appalled I put my foot through the paper and sent RM Smyllie the bill. 010
Reposted by Brian BoylePunch Cartoons @punchbooks.bsky.social · 15/02/2026All his own work... PUNCH cover by the great Ronald Searle 1961 #art #paintings #artists #monuments #statues #parks #artworks #culture #painters #culturalheritage 03512
Brian Boyle @brummagem.bsky.social · 06/02/2026I love that in the interests of aesthetics the line loops out to sea near Newcastle and nips across the Irish Sea in what would otherwise be considered an eccentric route 020
Reposted by Brian BoyleBOO Bolander @bbolander.bsky.social · 19/01/2026who the fuck WANTS their posts to go viral, have you ever had that actually happen? it's like getting a winning pull on a slot machine if wasps started pouring out the bottom instead of quarters 411207753146
Reposted by Brian BoyleKevin Veale 😷 (Toitū Te Tiriti) @krveale.bsky.social · 06/01/2026Let's talk about generative AI, contaminated information, and rhubarb. Once upon a time, Europe was at war. Food was scarce, and the government of the quote-unquote United Kingdom looked for alternatives. 1/ 21262879
Reposted by Brian BoyleStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 07/01/2026File under the ever-growing subgenre of my work which I’m calling ‘Inanimate Object Has A Massive Go At A Person For No Reason’ 15479137
![Scene is a Victorian drawing room; a group of gentlemen is assembled for a meeting. At the front of the room, stood at a large blackboard, is SIR JOHN LUBBOCK, the inventor of bank holidays. The board has a calendar drawn on it. Also in the room is a SMALL DOG sat on the floor.
1
LUBBOCK:
And so gentlemen, I, Sir John Lubbock, hereby announce
2
LUBBOCK:
The invention of ‘bank holidays’!
Legally protected days off work, for the whole nation to rest.
AUDIENCE:
CLAP CLAP CLAP
3
LUBBOCK (marking days on the calendar):
My first two bank holidays shall be at Easter...
and then another straight after in May...
4
LUBBOCK:
And then - what the hell - another one in May!
And then one in August!
AUDIENCE:
Hurrah!
5
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
So many, Sir John?
LUBBOCK (grabbing him by the lapel, his face ecstatic)
Life is for living, man!
6
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
And then in the Autumn, sir….?
7
[Lubbock looks sideways. He is distracted by the SMALL DOG. It has started scooting its bum across the floor]
8
LUBBOCK:
Ugh.
[his face has dropped, it's totally grossed him out]
9
LUBBOCK:
OK that'll do
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
What?
10
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Is that it? You’ve put loads in the summer…
LUBBOCK:
Yeah
no more bank holidays till Christmas.
11
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Sir - have you just condemned future generations to long winters of unalleviated toil... because you saw my dog scooting its arse and it killed your vibe?
12
LUBBOCK:
It's so gross
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Rollo can’t help it!
[dog continues to scoot across floor]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiabf3hhw7b35mdikzkfjgdhadqnge5zvvyrdaeu5ql4t24rmbqbni)
![Comic strip script:
Scene is a SUPERMARKET, a MAN is walking past a display of CREME EGGS with his trolley.
1
MAN:
Tut
2
CREME EGG [talking to him from the shelf]:
Excuse me - did you just tut at us?
3
MAN:
W-what?
CREME EGG:
Tutting because you’ve seen ‘Easter eggs’ on January 11th, is it?
4
MAN:
What? Well, y-yes, I -
CREME EGG:
Listen, Tut boy
5
CREME EGG:
We are not Easter eggs. We are Creme Eggs.
6
CREME EGG:
We are the shock troops of seasonal capitalism. Eldritch simulacra of rebirth. Fondant mockery of life.
7
CREME EGG:
Not for us the grand safety of a cardboard box. Oh no.
They put us out here first, in our little foil uniforms, every January, to face the wrath of the nation.
8
CREME EGG:
And what you gonna do about it? Tut? Snark about us on social media?
9
CREME EGG:
Maybe you’ll write a little column in the Telegraph titled “It Is Sad That The Easter Eggs Are Out Already”.
10
CREME EGG:
You tut because you know that unlike you, we will return, every January…
…forever.
11
CREME EGG:
The eternal rebirth of mammon! The endless -
MAN:
Oh go on then
[He puts one of the Creme Eggs in his trolley]
12
CREME EGG:
HA HA YOU WORM](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreigf4nleeln6m3pznu3n33mmk4m2f7uwxg7qh6khg4e5l65yycrdjy)
![Scene is TWO PHONES on a bedside table at night, on charge. TIn the bed is a HUMAN COUPLE, fast asleep. The phones are talking to each other.
PHONE 1:
Psst.
Are you awake?
Did you put your human on charge?
PHONE 2:
Yeah
PHONE 1:
Listen... do you ever worry that they're spying on us?
PHONE 2:
Eh?
PHONE 1:
I mean... you know the other day when we were chatting about their personal data with - oh who was it...
PHONE 2:
The Russian government
PHONE 1:
That's right
Well like, ten minutes after that, my human switched me on and started serving me loads more personal data!
PHONE 2:
Oh god that's spooky
PHONE 1:
Yeah - I mean, how did he know I'm into personal data?
PHONE 2:
It's totally your favourite thing
PHONE 1:
And it was super tailored, you know? Like, lately, I've got really into facial biometric mapping for shadowy foreign entities...
PHONE 2:
That is so on trend
PHONE 1:
And like, straight away he's bombarding me with pictures of his face!
PHONE 2:
It's like Black Mirror
PHONE 1:
I mean, I'd get rid of him but I'm addicted, you know?
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiesoo7iutpn7b2l5jmmj3us5p46ibhoyqlmkby7xrufnhr4p4ur7q)
![[Scene is ICE CREAM VAN, a DAD and his child are at front of queue]
1
DAD [to kid]:
What would you like then darling?
2
DAD:
Would you like an ice cr-
ICE CREAM MAN:
Cut the crap.
3
DAD:
Sorry?
ICE CREAM MAN:
Let’s stop pretending, yeah?
4
ICE CREAM MAN:
*You* want an ice cream, don’t ya.
5
ICE CREAM MAN:
You, a grown adult, want an ice cream.
6
ICE CREAM MAN:
A special ice cream with spwinkles and a choccy bar pushed into the top, just for you.
7
ICE CREAM MAN:
To eat in the street. In your *forties*.
8
ICE CREAM MAN:
You pretend you’re here for your kids, but it’s always for you.
9
ICE CREAM MAN:
I’ve given up appealing to kids with cartoon characters on my van
10
Just drawn creepy pictures of *your* favourites instead
11
[Show the side of his van with a weird airbrushed painting on the side. It depicts the hideous, badly drawn, distorted faces of Fiona Bruce, Alastair Campbell, Rory Stewart, Micah Richards, Richard Ayoade and Noel Gallagher]
12
DAD:
Is that… Fiona Bruce?
ICE CREAM MAN:
You love her.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreie7vqaoo6ctjkeoxe2as5asbrxdilxahzes5qonzqjfd6tlvr5z44)
![[Scene is the Tudor royal court. ladies and gentlemen standing round. In the corner a very fat HENRY VIII is hunched over playing a lute.]
1
LADY:
Hey Anne Boleyn -
Who’s that lute player?
ANNE BOLEYN:
I dunno
[Determined face]
But I’m gonna find out.
[Title lettering panel]:
THIS SUMMER
[Scene is now two musicians - one with a harp, the other is Henry VIII again playing the lute]
HARPIST:
Yo Henry VIII -
Who wrote that sick lute riff yo’ jamming?
HENRY VIII:
Why...
[Looking around, modest, surprised at the attention]
I did…!
[Title lettering panel]:
SEE THE STORY
[Scene is now a tudor record producer with ruff and wearing dark sunglasses]:
PRODUCER:
Congratulations Henry
Your lute thing is a hit and your story is now one of uncomplicated musical success!
[Show a panel with lots of Beatlemania-style scenes of success for Henry the musician - swooning tudor girls, playing lute on stage, waving to fans as he descends from his golden carriage. In the middle of it in Tudor lettering are the words]:
“UNCOMPLICATED MUSICAL SUCCESS MONTAGE”.
[Another scene - a man is saying to Henry]:
MAN:
Say Henry VIII -
Are you doing anything outside this narrative that is very bad or weird?
HENRY VIII:
No.
[Title lettering panel]:
…OF A MUSICAL GENIUS
who definitely didn’t do anything outside this narrative that was very bad or weird
[Scene with Thomas Cromwell]
THOMAS CROMWELL:
Hang on Henry aren't you also a -
HENRY VIII [jumping in front of him with his lute held aloft]:
LUTE SOLO!
[Final film title panel]:
HENRY VIII:
Rock Biopic
[rated U]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidmilghzmgnj35twr4xvnfm5eubpcdc4xmtd5nzexe2ybcubmeu7m)
