Reposted by SimonTom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 44mEarly autumn yielded a particularly good windfall at the Sheep Tree this year. 1115819
Reposted by SimonRob Palk @robpalk.bsky.social · 1hAges ago I was in The George in Southwark & an American tourist asked me if Shakespeare drank there. Was extremely satisfying to say "no, he was bard" 1383
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 21hMy girlfriend and I met through a dating agency for dolphin impersonators. The minute we met we just clicked. 2367
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 19hjust to make clear that any posts that I do on here that aren't funny or have typos - they are all done by hackers. the bastards. 260
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 20hI'd love to be a fly on the wall when Man City meet their lawyers & Man City start asking questions about why they have spent (reportedly) £100m on legal fees and only got 1/115 charges knocked out. I hope the lawyers respond 'it's not the winning or losing, it's the taking part that counts' 290
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 20hYou think will all those AI leaders involved he could find someone to amend his typo. He's a class act that lad Trump. 3141
Reposted by SimonGoonernation @goonernation.bsky.social · 20hMan City when asked to produce their “irrefutable evidence.” 152
Reposted by SimonJason @nickmotown.bsky.social · 03/12/2024[IN A TV DRAMA PRODUCTION MEETING] “So, this scene where she gets texted a vital piece of information - we could have it written out clearly on the screen, Sherlock-style, BUT, I say we go with a brief glimpse of her phone at a weird angle, so it’s impossible to read without pausing” 1285
Reposted by SimonSailing Steve @sailingsteve.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Good advice!! Make noise. It's long. Read it! 16951411705
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 21hI’ve found god. It’s my turn to hide now. 0215
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 23h"I am only prepared to say the words 'Red Tape' and I am not prepared to give any more details or respond to further questions at this time. Good day to you". 020
Reposted by SimonNick Pettigrew @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social · 30/09/2026It seems apt that Manchester City fans adopted the Poznan, a celebration where everybody looks the other way. 623378
Reposted by SimonOlaf Falafel @ofalafel.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I’ve been learning how to guess the weight of dogs - picked up a few pointers yesterday. 515918
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 23hThe first rule of Pop Music Club is you never talk about Pop Music, talk about, pop music, shoobie doobie do wop, pop pop shoo wop Club. 2256
Reposted by SimonSavascha @savascha.bsky.social · 30/09/2026You know what we don’t do enough anymore? Big harvest festival orgies. No one wants to put on the animal mask to dance around the fire for the delight and edification of the village matriarchs. Instead, it’s all avocado toast and tiktoks. 35114
Reposted by SimonIan Dunt @iandunt.bsky.social · 30/09/2026This deserves an honourary knighthood 35792128
Reposted by SimonLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 29/09/2026The byline left up there like a head on a spike outside a castle 241882
Reposted by SimonTits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Video making/editing question: am I right in thinking it's not really possible to convert a horizontal video into a vertical video without losing some of the resolution? Or is there a way you can crop to vertical that will keep the high quality horizontal video that I have? Hope that makes sense! 854
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Three caterpillars called Christopher go into a pub. The barman asks "Are you lot old enough to be served?" The first one replies "No, but Chris L is". 2175
Reposted by SimonDouglas Cheape @douglascheape.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Definitely an autumnal feel to this Tuesday morning. 2201
Reposted by SimonRichard Littler @richardlittler.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Ok, let's try it the old way... 1405
Reposted by SimonBrian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Having one of those days today. 434963
Reposted by Simontimoconnorbl.bsky.social @timoconnorbl.bsky.social · 29/09/2026We must imagine Sisyphus paddling. 33410
Reposted by SimonMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Most of a snail is storage. 1415318
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 28/09/2026how many freudians does it take to change a light boob? 0375
Reposted by SimonRyan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives. 253932735
Reposted by SimonLee Hurley @hleehurley.com · 28/09/2026Today me looking at the list yesterday me wrote for me to do todaystatic.klipy.comBear Discovers Mirror in the WoodsAlt: Bear Discovers Mirror in the Woods 612712
Reposted by Simonednl🇪🇺 @ee1.nl · 28/09/2026Fun interview by Renaat (Sporza) with McNulty after the race where you might get to know him a tiny bit www.youtube.com/shorts/ueOz_... #montreal2026youtube.comBracht het startinterview van Renaat geluk voor Brandon McNulty? #Wielrennen #Montréal2026YouTube video by Sporza 172
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 27/09/2026A short story: Next door neighbour buys a young hamster. Hamster seems sluggish 10 days later hamster gives birth to 10 babies Our kids go to visit the new brood regularly Two days later I find myself buying a cage for, guess what, one of the hamster babies that we have somehow agreed to have .ends 160
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Did we concede after 114 seconds by any chance? Mark Guehi maybe was distracted at that moment 040
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Oh good, it’s Lee Dixon commentating. He always puts a spring in your step and a song in your heart with his upbeat outlook. FFS. 160
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I have ducked out of attending my nephews’ (one 5 & one 7) birthday party. It is in a leisure centre. I couldn’t face the noise. I have said that I will stay home and clean the house. So, if anyone asks I haven’t been on here at all today? I am cleaning the house also by the way. Bloody doubters. 170
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I appreciate that strictly speaking I am not authorised to speak on behalf of Liverpool Football Club or the FSG group but here is my best and final offer to City: 1. Say sorry 2 give us Haaland 3. Pay his wages for the rest of his career And we’ll call it quits. 170
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Here me out, City should be given a 114 point deduction that will be applied from when they started cheating but spread out so they are just deducted 1 point more than their winning margin for each season and that should continue into the future until the 114 points pot runs out. 160
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026As someone who has followed professional cycling for a long time I have come to terms with results tables like this. Welcome on board (probably) football fans 2213
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Liverpool fans right now trying to work out what rhymes with “114 charges”static.klipy.comLennison WritingALT: Lennison Writing 090
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026this is a great programme and there is a very interesting bit about AI getting things wrong and making stuff up from 28:29 in. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...bbc.co.ukStrong Message Here - We Care, We Fight! (with Stewart Lee) - BBC SoundsIs Ed Davey cut out for the attention economy? Armando and Stewart Lee have some tips. 040
Reposted by SimonJames Asmus @jamesasmus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Hey comics artists: a new all-timer character design just dropped. 1832602476
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026it will be interesting to see how much money that Man City paid to their lawyers, and the conversation that's happening now between them "so, let us get this straight - we paid £x million to you and for that, you managed to knock 1 out of 115 charges off" 050
Reposted by SimonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Just read in the paper that a gang of thieves have stolen 50 crates of Red Bull from a warehouse. I don’t know how those people sleep at night. 310823
Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Man City's next game is at Anfield. I am sure that the Liverpool fans will be very respectful and mature and probably not mention the 114 guilty findings.static.klipy.comLeonardo DiCaprio Laughing as Jay GatsbyALT: Leonardo DiCaprio Laughing as Jay Gatsby 070