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Simon

@broomwagon.bsky.social
955 followers 1K following 10K posts

Dad, dog owner, cycling, football, and coffee nerd. Increasingly interested in Belgian beer and cobbles. My motto: always give 100%. Unless you are giving blood. You’ll probably find me on my allotment. Bristol

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Dr Headgear @drheadgear.bsky.social · 41m
Very interesting....
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 44m
Early autumn yielded a particularly good windfall at the Sheep Tree this year.
Dozens of sheep gather at the foot of a wise old tree in Herefordshire, waiting for it to tell them stories.
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Rob Palk @robpalk.bsky.social · 1h
Ages ago I was in The George in Southwark & an American tourist asked me if Shakespeare drank there. Was extremely satisfying to say "no, he was bard"
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 21h
My girlfriend and I met through a dating agency for dolphin impersonators. The minute we met we just clicked.
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Matt Owen @mjowen174.bsky.social · 2h
Not sure about this ‘Patton’ reboot.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 19h
just to make clear that any posts that I do on here that aren't funny or have typos - they are all done by hackers. the bastards.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 20h
I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Man City meet their lawyers & Man City start asking questions about why they have spent (reportedly) £100m on legal fees and only got 1/115 charges knocked out. I hope the lawyers respond 'it's not the winning or losing, it's the taking part that counts'
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Lady SG @ladysg.bsky.social · 21h
Paddy Power’s SM Team are having a field day
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 20h
You think will all those AI leaders involved he could find someone to amend his typo. He's a class act that lad Trump.
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Goonernation @goonernation.bsky.social · 20h
Man City when asked to produce their “irrefutable evidence.”
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Jason @nickmotown.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
[IN A TV DRAMA PRODUCTION MEETING] “So, this scene where she gets texted a vital piece of information - we could have it written out clearly on the screen, Sherlock-style, BUT, I say we go with a brief glimpse of her phone at a weird angle, so it’s impossible to read without pausing”
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Sailing Steve @sailingsteve.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Good advice!! Make noise. It's long. Read it!
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 21h
I’ve found god. It’s my turn to hide now.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 23h
"I am only prepared to say the words 'Red Tape' and I am not prepared to give any more details or respond to further questions at this time. Good day to you".
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Savvy @cheqraise.bsky.social · 23h
😂
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Nick Pettigrew @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
It seems apt that Manchester City fans adopted the Poznan, a celebration where everybody looks the other way.
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Olaf Falafel @ofalafel.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I’ve been learning how to guess the weight of dogs - picked up a few pointers yesterday.
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 23h
The first rule of Pop Music Club is you never talk about Pop Music, talk about, pop music, shoobie doobie do wop, pop pop shoo wop Club.
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Emily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Liquid Bluesky
National Trust• @nationaltrust.org.uk 
Nobody has ever regretted a scone after a long walk.

Except someone with ceoliac disease
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Savascha @savascha.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
You know what we don’t do enough anymore? Big harvest festival orgies. No one wants to put on the animal mask to dance around the fire for the delight and edification of the village matriarchs. Instead, it’s all avocado toast and tiktoks.
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Ian Dunt @iandunt.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This deserves an honourary knighthood
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The byline left up there like a head on a spike outside a castle
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Tits McGee @scientits.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Video making/editing question: am I right in thinking it's not really possible to convert a horizontal video into a vertical video without losing some of the resolution? Or is there a way you can crop to vertical that will keep the high quality horizontal video that I have? Hope that makes sense!
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Three caterpillars called Christopher go into a pub. The barman asks "Are you lot old enough to be served?" The first one replies "No, but Chris L is".
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Douglas Cheape @douglascheape.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Definitely an autumnal feel to this Tuesday morning.
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Richard Littler @richardlittler.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Ok, let's try it the old way...
Fake 'Swap Shop' exchange screen
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Brian Bilston @brianbilston.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Having one of those days today.
In the Park
 
In the park,
the tall trees are waving
in the morning breeze.
 
I wave back
only to realize they are waving
at the person behind me.


Brian Bilston
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timoconnorbl.bsky.social @timoconnorbl.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
We must imagine Sisyphus paddling.
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Most of a snail is storage.
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
how many freudians does it take to change a light boob?
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John Muller @johnspacemuller.com · 28/09/2026
Messi come on man
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Ryan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.
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Lee Hurley @hleehurley.com · 28/09/2026
Today me looking at the list yesterday me wrote for me to do today
static.klipy.com
Bear Discovers Mirror in the Woods
Alt: Bear Discovers Mirror in the Woods
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ednl🇪🇺 @ee1.nl · 28/09/2026
Fun interview by Renaat (Sporza) with McNulty after the race where you might get to know him a tiny bit www.youtube.com/shorts/ueOz_... #montreal2026
youtube.com
Bracht het startinterview van Renaat geluk voor Brandon McNulty? #Wielrennen #Montréal2026
YouTube video by Sporza
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Man throws whole team under a bus
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A short story: Next door neighbour buys a young hamster. Hamster seems sluggish 10 days later hamster gives birth to 10 babies Our kids go to visit the new brood regularly Two days later I find myself buying a cage for, guess what, one of the hamster babies that we have somehow agreed to have .ends
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Did we concede after 114 seconds by any chance? Mark Guehi maybe was distracted at that moment
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Oh good, it’s Lee Dixon commentating. He always puts a spring in your step and a song in your heart with his upbeat outlook. FFS.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I have ducked out of attending my nephews’ (one 5 & one 7) birthday party. It is in a leisure centre. I couldn’t face the noise. I have said that I will stay home and clean the house. So, if anyone asks I haven’t been on here at all today? I am cleaning the house also by the way. Bloody doubters.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I appreciate that strictly speaking I am not authorised to speak on behalf of Liverpool Football Club or the FSG group but here is my best and final offer to City: 1. Say sorry 2 give us Haaland 3. Pay his wages for the rest of his career And we’ll call it quits.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Here me out, City should be given a 114 point deduction that will be applied from when they started cheating but spread out so they are just deducted 1 point more than their winning margin for each season and that should continue into the future until the 114 points pot runs out.
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
As someone who has followed professional cycling for a long time I have come to terms with results tables like this. Welcome on board (probably) football fans
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Liverpool fans right now trying to work out what rhymes with “114 charges”
static.klipy.com
Lennison Writing
ALT: Lennison Writing
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
this is a great programme and there is a very interesting bit about AI getting things wrong and making stuff up from 28:29 in. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...
bbc.co.uk
Strong Message Here - We Care, We Fight! (with Stewart Lee) - BBC Sounds
Is Ed Davey cut out for the attention economy? Armando and Stewart Lee have some tips.
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James Asmus @jamesasmus.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hey comics artists: a new all-timer character design just dropped.
I honestly don't know how to explain.  Fascinating little powerhouse of a guy with truly unique hair / beard hyper-stylized combo
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
it will be interesting to see how much money that Man City paid to their lawyers, and the conversation that's happening now between them "so, let us get this straight - we paid £x million to you and for that, you managed to knock 1 out of 115 charges off"
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Glennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Just read in the paper that a gang of thieves have stolen 50 crates of Red Bull from a warehouse. I don’t know how those people sleep at night.
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Against League 3 @againstleague3.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Simon @broomwagon.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Man City's next game is at Anfield. I am sure that the Liverpool fans will be very respectful and mature and probably not mention the 114 guilty findings.
static.klipy.com
Leonardo DiCaprio Laughing as Jay Gatsby
ALT: Leonardo DiCaprio Laughing as Jay Gatsby
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Carlon Groiss @carloncarpenter.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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