iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Bread John @breadery.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

You can't even roast a baby in the oven for an hour at 200 degrees celsius these days because of woke.

77226

Reposted by Bread John

🎃HalloDeeny🎃 they/them @geraldinepiche.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

Bring back tamagochis. I want to kill something pure and innocent

1415232

Reposted by Bread John

chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

Despite being a creature of a damp, dank, subterranean cavern, I am surprisingly flammable.

513852

Reposted by Bread John

NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

It's supposedly the NBA finals but they keep coming back every year

1133268

Reposted by Bread John

jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

“i’m good and you?” I say to my coworker as the government is kidnapping my community, bombing everywhere with brown people, and my immune system attacks my own body leaving me disabled.

223350

Reposted by Bread John

jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

my actual deal breaker: you keep your indoor temp at anything above 70°F

68221

Reposted by Bread John

It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

The enemy of my enemy is an even bigger little bitch

91094209

Reposted by Bread John

nige [ham] @sensualdad.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

my dentist says that out of all his patients, i have the cutest teeth

38221

Reposted by Bread John

jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

a dude referred to my tits as cherries and because i’d never heard it before I had to ask “what cherries where?” and now we are in a weird standoff about melons versus cherries and how am I 46 and this is my reality

1310913

Reposted by Bread John

futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 21/06/2025

it takes a lot of effort to get a crowd to start the wave which no one at this funeral seems to appreciate

951590

Reposted by Bread John

🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

80% of being a dad is just turning off light switches and locking doors

514251

Reposted by Bread John

🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

An escape room, but we just lock kids in a library and they have to use the Dewey decimal system to find their way out.

823092

Reposted by Bread John

🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

I guess putting lead back into paint is next

42435134

Reposted by Bread John

Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

Remember when that guy fucked a pie?

1815345

Reposted by Bread John

Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 18/06/2025

DONT LEAVE HOT DOGS IN CARS

1917773

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

sex so good he forgets every word but your name and now you have to order for him at restaurants

318447

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

i’m not ready for ww3 i haven’t had a threesome yet

1742376

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

people with big boobs should be able to squeeze them real hard to zoom out of uncomfortable situations like a loose balloon

925361

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

sorry i cannot handle any more “THIS SCARY THING SHOULD SCARE YOU” headlines i am already dead

531376

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

i’ve been doing some introspection and i think i should start mongering more

816249

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

[looking around the internet squinting, hands on my hips] i’m…i’m good i think i know enough men already

428562

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

make sexy time more fun by announcing “we are now approaching the tunnel please remain calm” in your best train conductor voice

1725062

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

i used to think it was “cannon father” like the big bad dad of all the baby cannons

1119846

Reposted by Bread John

Amy @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 22/06/2025

so who’s coming to the wwiii orgy/cuddle party/we had a good run humanity event i’m arranging the body pillows and i need a head count

2519844

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

Overheard at the diner: “Yeah, I can eat that. I got teeth now.”

418848

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

Fleetwood Mac: Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. Me: Um, OK, if you insist. The 𝘛𝘶𝘴𝘬 album was a GREAT idea.

221342

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/06/2025

You can’t get all your history from Schoolhouse Rock because nothing rhymes with “massacre”.

8386123

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 18/06/2025

Posts that use Roman numerals get more CLIX.

423969

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 19/06/2025

The alien remains have been at Area 52 this whole time. It was just a typo.

511537

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

Me: Do you like thick burgers or smash burgers? The Incredible Hulk: *deep breath*

117659

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

In theaters this summer… You won’t know where he comes from. You won’t know where he goes. Don’t bother getting married. He’s COTTON EYE JOE (Rated PG-13)

316967

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 20/06/2025

𝘉𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘏𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 by the Commodores is my favorite song extolling the virtues of good old-fashioned masonry work.

330471

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Her: I just need someone who’s consistent. Me: I have a track record of 100% for leaving my take-home bag at the restaurant.

425967

Reposted by Bread John

𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21/06/2025

Told my mom she’d have made a great corrections officer, what with all the correcting she does.

111732

Reposted by Bread John

bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 16/06/2025

[a writers circle] writer 1: my latest screenplay is up for an Oscar writer 2: well done! my last piece was nominated for a Pulitzer writer 3: great work! apparently I'm in the running for a Nobel Prize for Literature me: umm, I got an emoji trophy on Twitter once...

1016966

Reposted by Bread John

bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

Alexa, do you wanna build a snowman?

38952

Reposted by Bread John

bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 17/06/2025

The first rule of fight club is: you do not tell your mom that I let you watch fight club, kids

328394

Reposted by Bread John

bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 18/06/2025

My best 5 days ever: 1. birth of my 1st child 2. birth of my 2nd child 3. first time I saw boobies 4. birth of my 3rd child (I love her just as much, but kinda got the t-shirt already y’know) 5. t̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶d̶̶̶a̶̶̶y̶̶̶ ̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶e̶̶̶y̶̶̶ ̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶v̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶e̶̶̶d̶̶̶ ̶P̶̶̶̶̶o̶̶̶̶̶p̶̶̶̶̶-̶̶̶̶̶T̶̶̶̶̶a̶̶̶̶̶r̶̶̶̶̶t̶̶̶̶̶s̶̶̶̶̶®̶ my wedding day

631392

Reposted by Bread John

bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 19/06/2025