Reposted by blonkuswint @dril.bsky.social · 22/02/2025quick update: the man makig dog noises outside my apt ended up being just a dog. to all Gorgeous women who DMed me asking if im ok—thank you 130170171297
Reposted by blonkusMaddie @madrigal.bsky.social · 22/02/2025STOP reading books and START drinking paint 391607298
Reposted by blonkusjojo 🏄♂️ @waterslap.bsky.social · 26/01/2025let’s hope loving God & each other is the next pandemic 🙌❤️ 1243
Reposted by blonkusweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 04/01/2025Guy from Memento in a job interview: Can you explain this gap on my resume? 737040
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/01/2025the heart wants what the heart wants (to fuck up woody allen) 020
Reposted by blonkusBenny Feldman @feldfrog.bsky.social · 02/01/2025When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you 1106245757
Reposted by blonkusmikeo @mikkaio.bsky.social · 28/12/2024the best posters in the world are the ones who see a post that just says "yabba dabba doo!" and reply "why did i read this in the flintstones voice 😂" 312311
Reposted by blonkuswint @dril.bsky.social · 23/12/2024when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner 8585411045
Reposted by blonkusinteresting dracula @partnardy.bsky.social · 29/11/2024liberals are like "we should have a mindful conversation with the Grinch about stakeholders and equity" he's the grinch! he's stealing your christmas presents! kill him! 1111622
Reposted by blonkusjojo 🏄♂️ @waterslap.bsky.social · 17/12/2024you’re laughing. my phone fell in the shower when i got a message and i almost hit video call while standing right over the camera and exposing my hairy gut dick nut balls and taint when i was picking it up and you’re laughing 1172
Reposted by blonkuskim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 15/12/2024what if john mayer ran for mayor and he won? then what? we’d have to call him mayor mayer? fuck that i’d rather die 69814
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 12/12/2024finding corn in your poo is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is strange if you haven’t eaten corn lately 🤔 020
Reposted by blonkus🧀🧀 BIG CHEESE 🧀🧀 @big-cheese.bsky.social · 11/12/2024anal eyes analyze anal lies 15119
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 06/12/2024I bet “I’ve gotta meet with my parole officer” is a great excuse to get out of anything 010
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Don’t put “no sugar added” on the label. You should be ashamed 040
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Me, at a black tie work function, trying to contribute to the conversation: There was an episode of fresh prince that covered this very topic. 040
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024I’m proud to announce the first edition of my newsletter, SEX & GOLF TIPS WEEKLY, will be released this week!! Can’t wait? Here’s a sneak peek: if you can’t find the hole, get your partner to help! 020
Reposted by blonkusjojo 🏄♂️ @waterslap.bsky.social · 03/12/2024getting a boner at a stoplight is so humiliating. now all these people need to watch me take care of this thing and there’s nothin i can do about that 0151
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024Kind of wild that there’s essentially no way to sound intelligent whilst perceptibly shitting your pants 130
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 01/12/2024Almost at 500 followers! Can I get 19 more follow spam bots out there to keep artificially boosting my numbers?? 😍🥰😘 120
Reposted by blonkusϝɾιɠɠιɳϝɾҽɳƈԋ @frigginfrench.bsky.social · 01/12/2024This is how I did it: The Montell Jordan story 27324
Reposted by blonkusol gooner ed @sopranos69420.bsky.social · 26/11/2024man i was high as hell when i ordered the mario lopez dude wipes 2964277
Reposted by blonkusBella cool GRRiginal 🦝 @bellatrellia.bsky.social · 22/11/2024Crab man didn't commit any murders tonight because he was busy drinking pee 2243
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 22/11/2024“He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?” I guess not. That is pretty direct communication. 💯 010
Reposted by blonkusonion person @junlper.beer · 05/11/2024i’m voting for kamala harris in a swing state so that elon musk might kill him self 1026141779
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 05/11/2024Walking too fast in the house and almost fracturing my toe on a tv food tray 030
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 05/11/2024I am Believing every positive thing I read online today Idgaf 030
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 05/11/2024You know that doctors office tongue depressor smell? What’s up with that? Wish i could smell it right now 050
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 05/11/2024If my morning bowel movement is any indicator, today’s gonna be a good day 050
Reposted by blonkusgerd @guy1.bsky.social · 04/11/2024Being a reply guy works backwards from most posting trends. You start with big accounts, and work your way backwards until you’re weighing in on the innermost thoughts of a guy with <10 followers 0111
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/11/2024It’s time to have a frank discussion about the childishness. We have to stop the coddling and start talking about when they’re going to meaningfully contribute to society and stop causing so much drama. - me, to my friend, about his 9 month old baby 071
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 04/11/2024wow, i cannot believe that football or baseball or basketball play! (will repost as needed) 030
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 02/11/2024I guess half the country is okay with being talked to like children? This is legitimately on the level of saying there are monsters under the bed that will eat you if you vote for my opponent 140
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 01/11/2024If I had a band I’d have one song called MOSHPIT DIPSHIT and it’d be the only song where mosh pits are allowed and it’d just be a song making fun of them 130
blonkus @blonkus.bsky.social · 31/10/2024Once again, this guy is such a fucking freak and it’s such a visual representation of how desensitized we are 010
