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Tom Easton

@tomeaston.bsky.social
1.7K followers 699 following 4.6K posts

Best-selling children's author. Complete idiot. Mostly Dad Jokes. Rep. Claire Wilson - RCW. Also Production Manager at Hachette Children’s. Check out my books at tinyurl.com/39cc3xy5 he/him Ghostwriter. School visits. Workshops. DM for more info

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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Is this very, very good AI music in the room with us right now?
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A£AP Rocky is larger but less stable than his US counterpart A$AP Rocky
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I haven’t listened to Burnham’s speech but what I’m getting from commentators on Bluesky is that he didn’t say the things they wanted him to say or if he did he didn’t say them in the right way or if he did then he won’t actually follow through on the things he said.
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georgia-lux @georgialux.bsky.social · 06/05/2023
no longer an anxiety girl, not yet a screaming woman
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Political terms that would also double up as great wrestler’s names: Triple lock Filibuster Black Rod Erskine May Hybrid Bill The Mace Manifesto Deputy Whip
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
not even allowed to get old unhealthily these days because of woke
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Tressie McMillan Cottom @tressiemcphd.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Technology enthusiasts severely overestimate the average person’s desire or willingness or capacity to build and use AI agents. I understand some work roles that could mandate or encourage it but that is no way a tech revolution. Agents are best for structured, clearly delineated tasks.
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Velour Shirt @object.works · 29/09/2026
This is a metaphor for so many things these days that I couldn't choose
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Mrs. Betty Bowers @mrsbettybowers.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Captain Iran.
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My wife just showed me this. Description in the alt text
A red and gold tin showing the crest and head of Queen Victoria. Text on the right reads South Africa 1900. It is a tin of chocolate given to my wife’s great grandfather when he was in the Boer WarThe tin, partially opened, showing brown, flaky chocolate inside
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Captain Picard in the four lights episode. But he us shouting “I have never heard choosin Texas by Ella Langley”
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Captain Picard in the four lights episode. But he us shouting “I have never heard choosin Texas by Ella Langley”
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Suck shit Bibi
Ireland 3 Israel nil
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James Hell Brooks @kleinman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
My wife just showed me this. Description in the alt text
A red and gold tin showing the crest and head of Queen Victoria. Text on the right reads South Africa 1900. It is a tin of chocolate given to my wife’s great grandfather when he was in the Boer WarThe tin, partially opened, showing brown, flaky chocolate inside
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Spong @besidetheteesside.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
What at horrible day to have eyes.
A glory hole of Capt Tom, so it looks like you're sucking off the old garden wobbler.
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John Angus Spencer-Barnes 🏳️‍🌈 @johnbarnes.org · 26/09/2026
It was wonderful to lead the Preston Pride parade today as the Town Crier and Bellman of the city and to make the opening proclamation. Love is love my friends.
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Mark 🦇🇬🇧 @heeno57.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Two words: Alf hog
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Manchester City players returning from the International break
static.klipy.com
Community Worst Timeline
ALT: Community Worst Timeline
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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the horse's new name is Single Nut
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Underpants theft needs regulation says CEO of Underpants Gnomes.
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Welcome to the resistance, err…Jacob Rees-Mogg. I guess.
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I’m sorry, you want me to be a hunter AND a gatherer?
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
she's a 10 but she always greets you with "good moaning"
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I can still recall our last summer I still see it all 6 months with no rain temperatures insane Our last summer 'cos of climate change
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Emma Yeomans @yeomans.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
11. Hampshire Police say six people who took part in the protest in Gosport have been arrested, including for assaulting an emergency worker. The force is making inquiries into what happened at sea and hasn't confirmed identity of the arrests.
To help facilitate peaceful protest, ensure the safety of the local community and support partners in the event of any emergency at sea, we deployed officers to Gosport and Portsmouth.

Following news that the vessel would be docking elsewhere in the country, police were met with a group of people who remained in Gosport, some of whom became hostile towards officers.

As a result, six people were arrested for offences including careless driving, assaulting an emergency worker and aggravated trespass.

They remain in custody at this time and our enquiries into these incidents continue.

We are also aware of a video circulating online relating to damage being caused to a boat in the English Channel on the afternoon of 22 September, and we are conducting enquiries into the matter.
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Thank you AI
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David Harper @davidharper.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I love every part of this story, besides the pelican needing help to begin with.
adn.com
Scientists heard a knock at the door. It was a pelican in need of help.
“This is kind of just a once-in a-lifetime experience,” said marine researcher Annsli Hilton.
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Andy Warhol said "one day everyone will be Leader of the Welsh Reform Party for 15 minutes"
theguardian.com
Helen Jenner unveiled as Reform UK’s new leader in Wales after arrest of Dan Thomas
Nigel Farage dismisses loss of previous leader as ‘bump in the road’ and says party will ‘carry on as if nothing has happened’
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Ok I won’t
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Woke up this morning feeling fine Made a mistake though, I went online
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
think i might take up grinding my teeth
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. You need to see great show, very entertaining, funny show. Lots of them in town. But whatever you do, don't go to see clown Pagliacci. That guy sucks ass.'
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
So excited to have finally seen the Guggenheim!
Photo of a car park with a spiral ramp in Worcester UK
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Ther world is a total shit show at the moment but at least we can all take comfort in the knowledge that Arsenal lost 3-nil today
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tilly Norwood just took down a rogue AI and saved humanity so I think some apologies are in order.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 19/09/2026
Fertility Experts Discover Rare Deep-Ball Sperm At Bottom Of Testes
theonion.com
Fertility Experts Discover Rare Deep-Ball Sperm At Bottom Of Testes
BALTIMORE—In a major breakthrough that sheds new light on the still largely unexplored region, leading fertility experts at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine announced Friday that they h...
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crabbydaddy dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
what’s peter pan’s favorite place to eat out? wendys
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
@bensouthwood.com let’s not jinx it
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
They should re-release all the books under the names of the ghostwriters
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
So, is there a mister Rachel? *waggles eyebrows*
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Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast @irhottakes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s very simple. A reality TV host became dictator because he turned down a role for Sharknado 4 and that’s why the king of outer space, who cheats at Diablo, got to kill Africa. Now the economy is controlled by a sex cult that has something to do with Harry Potter fanfic because of robots.
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Melinda Salisbury @melindasalisbury.com · 18/09/2026
Finally, someone has fully understood the female gaze, because as everyone else has pointed out, that is Lesbian Christopher Walken and that is EXACTLY what women want
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
"Ed Sheeran Voyage"
Alan Partridge speaking into a dictaphone
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I said a hip-hop, the hippie, the hippie To the hip, hip-hop and you don't stop the rockin' To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat as was foretold
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Tom Easton @tomeaston.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
lol
thebookseller.com
David Walliams' backlist dropped by HarperCollins
HarperCollins has dropped the backlist of children's author David Walliams, The Bookseller understands.
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