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pTessodactyl

@tessential.bsky.social
228 followers 207 following 1.2K posts

All around chaotic mess. Aspiring programmer / gamedev. in my 30s. Trans, Bisexual, Autistic/ADHD, Queer, and Disabled.

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Reposted by pTessodactyl
Ian Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 18h
BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome
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Pru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Please stop calling me on my phone that's not what it's for
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"why don't men wear more color." i only dress for the approval of dogs, who mostly see blue, white, gray, black, and brown in the way that we do, so i don't wear other colors.
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Edd Edmondson @eddedmondson.eurosky.social · 27/09/2026
My attention is being demanded
A very vocal cat sat on me.

I mean you can't see he is vocal from the photo but trust me he is.
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Dr. Amy, PsyD @dramypsyd.rmh-therapy.com · 26/09/2026
I just need to get this out of my brain For the past several days, “COVID conscious lesbian bar in western Massachusetts” has been playing on a loop in my head to the tune of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Maybe it’s like The Ring where I can pass the curse on to someone else and free myself
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I don’t get it. Does it turn into spaghetti during a full moon, or?
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Assert dominance and bring THEIR iced coffee to the interview Drink it while making strong eye contact
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“Something went wrong” errors are the computer equivalent of “I NEED AN ADULT”
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Jess 🌺ΘΔ& @cyansorcery.com · 19/09/2026
🦌blobun is on sale for a couple more days, so if you're gonna pick it up, you better go do it!! (or you can just wait until next time it's on sale) this is a puzzle game where you have to touch every tile in a line, but we don't make it easy to just do that store.steampowered.com/app/3284270/...
store.steampowered.com
Save 45% on Blobun on Steam
You are a blob bunny. Your goal? Touch every tile! Get your slime all over the place and overcome tricks and traps as you make your way through this casual puzzle game.
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I do not understand how his books and Little Britain were so popular. And that's not in a "I don't like them" way, but a "my understanding of reality does not explain this" way.
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Due to inflation and raising costs I will only be going the extra 10 feet on any given job
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Stephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
mmygod
the slut gnomes of false berlin jeopardy bluesky posttoday's jeopardy categories. the last 2 are "false berlin" and "bizarre little men"
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Andrew @andrewt.net · 18/09/2026
theguardian.com
Scientist discovers new cat while taking different route to shops
His name is believed to be Percy. The scientist has learned that he lives opposite the newsagents and likes ear scritches.
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Jennifer de Guzman Strikes Again @jenniferdeguzman.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
My daughter’s latest masterpiece
A painting of a round cat with small ears in a McDonald’s fry bag
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Mrs Ashley Heather Quills 🎙 Voice Acting Vampire @voice-quills.com · 11/09/2026
As of today, @yourlocalcrazy.bsky.social and I are married and are now Mrs and Mrs Quills!! I love you so much honey, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you ❤️
2 women holding hands showing their wedding rings, one in a red dress and the other in a black dress2 women smiling next to each other sat in chairs at a wedding venue2 women standing in a wedding venue, one in a red dress and the other in a black dress 2 women embracing in a wedding venue
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VGC @videogameschronicle.com · 10/09/2026
Ikea has released a Skyrim mod where players are accompanied by a Kallax shelving unit voiced by Matt Berry. www.videogameschronicle.com/news/ikea-ha...
videogameschronicle.com
Ikea has released a Skyrim mod where players are accompanied by a Kallax shelving unit voiced by Matt Berry | VGC
“Your inventory woes end here,” the Kallax Storageborn mod promises…
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Amanda Wong @amandawtwong.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
No, babe, I NEED the $200 Le Creuset Star Trek shuttlecraft casserole dish for my banana bread.
Le Creuset Star Trek shuttlecraft casserole dish
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jeeyon shim 심지연 @jeeyon.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Almost had a heart attack hearing Onion yowling in the kitchen right as the toast popped out of the toaster, thinking he'd hopped onto the counter and burned himself. Turns out he was just mad the toasted bread was too hot to eat
unrelated photo of onion sleeping peacefully and "innocently" next to me in bed
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Oh no, that building is on fire! Time to break the damn and flood the entire city! Yay! No more fire! We did it!
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Jon Baker @thejonbaker.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
KIDS SHOW IDEA: Monkey’s Paw Patrol It’s pretty similar to Paw Patrol, but everytime they are called to save the day they’ll *technically* do it, just with disastrous consequences like a Monkey’s Paw wish
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Gretchen Felker-Martin PRE ORDER CHIMERA 2.16.27 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
They sell ANDOR action figures, of course, and of course the audience is 35-50-year-olds, but it's deeply funny to imagine children playing with little Luthen Rael and Saw Gerrera dolls. CHILD 1: I think violence is not only justified, but demanded CHILD 2: I agree, but haste could be our undoing
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Tom Francis @pentadact.com · 31/07/2026
"We call these boomer shooters." "Right, cos of all the booming." 'Oh, no that's not why." "Then why?" (Deep breath) "So in the aftermath of the second world war..."
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SMBC Comics @smbccomics.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
This is of course an SMBC psyop. COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/psy PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm... STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com
1-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman are shown talking. The woman says "thanks, man. I really appreciate your insights about modern politics." The man points at her, asking "ha! nice try, KREMLIN! Who paid you?!" The caption below the comic reads "How come nobody ever assumes the people who agree with them are a foreign psyop?"
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Well then, to make it obvious which rules we are on: Mile End.
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Bolt451. He's Our Bastard ❤️ @bolt451.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Anyone fancy a game of Mornington Crescent ?
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Pretty decent birthday all things considered. Something about it being an assigned day makes me relax and not worry quite so much :D
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Jess 🌺ΘΔ& @cyansorcery.com · 22/08/2026
🦌might as well get started on that September Kofi grind. Goal is higher because we wont have any sales income from the game next month and also the IRS is now taking a portion of our income. here's hoping things improve in the future, but the future is not now ko-fi.com/gfxsql #mutualaid
ko-fi.com
Support Jess
Support Jess
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~daniel_barker~ @daniel-barker.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
The Great Impotence Myth? Scientists seek to determine whether erectile dysfunction is real or a social construct, and speculate that the older generation may be turning to pills simply because they're too lazy to google big jiggly butts any more. Channel 4 asks: how hard can it be?
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Gabby HC @scriblit.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
The Amidala talking to Anakin meme. 
1st panel, Anakin asks 'do you like plums?'
2nd panel, Amidala says 'yeah, I'm actually saving some for breakfast'
3rd panel, Anakin stares
4th panel, Amidala looks horrified
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Wabi Sabi For Robots @wabisabi4robots.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Werner Herzog with a word balloon
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Mrs. Detective Pikajew, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 16/08/2026
Apparently Lilly Wachowski does s tier alt text
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John Self @john-self.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
Damien Owens’ tweet from 2022:

“I’m 50. All celebrity news looks like this:

‘CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT’

but I’ve changed “celebrity” to “business”
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
TOO SOON YOU HAVE AWOKEN ME TOO SOON U.K. EMERGENCY ALERTS.
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
It's almost impressive to handle damaging allegations by a) confirming all of them and b) making yourself look really bad.
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Rebecca Watson @skepchick.org · 12/08/2026
Okay, you guys seem interested in this so I'll just make it live now. Here's why it's probably true that Harry Potter fans convinced a contractor to reroute a power cable, despite a lot of people really wanting it to be false www.patreon.com/rebecca/post...
patreon.com
The Dobby Grave Story is Probably True, Actually | Rebecca Watson
Well patrons, this was going to go up Friday but screw it, I'll just make it live now while people are interested. Enjoy! Transcript: Okay,
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Dr Dean Burnett @drdeanburnett.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Son tells me his friend's dad spent about £200 on a pair of eclipse glasses. Guess they must be the sturdier kind, which can withstand the wear and tear of regular usage.
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ One milkshake to rule the boys, one milkshake to find them, one milkshake to bring the boys and in my yard to bind them 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
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VERTICAL📼BLANKING📺INTERVAL @vertiblank.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
I think we should make the evil Max Miller eat hardtack for the rest of his life.
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Emily L'Orange 🦆🍊 @emilylorange.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Italian Elon Musk (verified) @alexarbuck... - 3H

I send a the calzone into space!! I don't pay a the taxers!! Ohhh!!

29 comments 1.4k retweets 5.6k likes
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Andrew @andrewt.net · 07/08/2026
This headline reads like the deadly fungal storms are spreading chronic fatigue syndrome or ADHD in women
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politiburb @politiburb.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
I've been laughing at this more than I'd care to admit for a few days now
youtube.com
Star Trek: TNG Theme but the theme is coming from the Enterprise-D
YouTube video by Auralnauts
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Who would win: Explosive laden drone Or Annoyed bus driver www.ctvnews.ca/world/articl...
ctvnews.ca
Bus driver kicked explosive drone out of the air at German airport, lawmaker says
German officials have not accused Russia or any other specific actor of being responsible for the drone, but Interior Minister Alexander Dobrindt described it as “a hybrid attack” that may have involv...
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MaksonLima @maksonlima.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Juro que tem dias que eu acordo pensando nisso aqui:
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Andrew @andrewt.net · 05/08/2026
Every mathematical theorem is called The Shoe Theorem and the statement of the problem is "you know how shoe shops only sell shoes one at a time in a blind bag so you don't know if you're getting a left or right shoe? Well—"
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Stella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 01/08/2026
I hope you all see me not just as a beautiful and funny woman, but also as a woman who’s attractive and hilarious
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Zee Smith 🐝 @korovyev.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
my baby boy 😭
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Alan Baxter @alanbaxter.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
You can kill a French vampire with a baguette. It's a painstaking process but it works.
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
There is a devil on my shoulder telling me I should play Dota2 again.
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Zee Smith 🐝 @korovyev.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
so you hate when she has waffles on a summer's day? that's pretty fucked tbh
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pTessodactyl @tessential.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
I think it should be possible to make analogies on the internet without someone saying "actually there are many differences between her and a summers day, it's pretty offensive to compare those two events"
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