iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Bram Stoker’s K 🧛🏻‍♂️ @gimmethekspecial.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

I just hope there’s a special place in hell for me because I do love feeling special

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

There is somewhere out there, without doubt, the worst pirate I’ve never heard of.

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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I’ve got 99 problems and I cause all of them myself

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Has there even been a woman who was like, “We should get a collection of shrunken cannibal heads and Siamese twin dog skeletons and real mummies and make a museum of oddities.” Don’t think so. That just seems like a very dude thing to do.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

When I say, “I love you all,” I mean that collectively, so … no, I won’t go out with you.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

This just hit me out of the blue - Literally everyone knows someone who was struck by lightning.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Me [putting a bite into my mouth]: We need to be careful. I'm deathly allergic to z-food. Her: No worries. There's no shrimp or fish or anything. Me [Dying from a reaction to zuchinni baked ziti]: Oh no.

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Tiki, the boosexual feminist 🩷💜💙 @immortalbidesign.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

i say cool beans alot for someone who despises all types of beans

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

My most elaborate fantasy is buying a niche at Hawaii’s Valley of the Temples and hiding a bunch of signed Shoehi Ohtani rookie cards behind the urn and in 30 years a grandchild gets a handwritten letter from my estate telling her to find the way to her dreams at my grave. Still working on this.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 22/08/2026

Me: Bartender, pour me another. Bartender (also me): Another bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats comin' right up.

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Truman Chipotle @trumanchipotle.com · 11/06/2026

"Being a grown up sucks,' said Ramona just before taking a large swig of Malört straight from the bottle. — an excerpt from 𝘙𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘢 𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘮𝘣𝘺, 𝘈𝘨𝘦 45

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lowtax speedrun enjoyer @rickywlmsbong.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

congrats to natalie and...the default on the character creation screen in a rockstar game

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Felicity Shutitdown-Already xx 🏳️‍⚧️ @meladyfreshness.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful bbz - hate me coz I'm really annoying 💋

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

New Orleans does Dolly its own way …

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

It feels like so much love was held in the person of Dolly Parton and now that she's gone all that love has just flashed out to all the world. It makes me want to love like her, and to make others feel like she made people feel. More than ever, now, I want to be like Dolly.

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Paula @dentonitis.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

I can't believe we still have to work today

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

WiFi and waifu are *very* similar words, and this has been really messing up my household robot’s voice commands.

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Boo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 03/07/2023

[library] hi do you have any books about when a guy is really mad at one specific whale

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Schmrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

neanderthal: *flirting* you know what they say, once you go neanderthal you never go back at all beautiful scientist: why do they say that? neanderthal: because I smashed your time machine

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I can’t believe none my posts have gone viral.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

D&D hit the right formula when they created a class for members of a magical drama club and, against all reason, made them sexy.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Before dentistry became a science it was just all hocus bicuspocus.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

The Cars said their best friend’s girlfriend used to be theirs, and I really applaud everyone involved for being chill about their friendships like that.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

My cannibal girlfriend fell in love when I invited her to binge with me Pinky and the Brain.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

My problems started at birth, when my parents, Pat and Dan Torus, named me Clint.

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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

One time, I had a man tell me I was mouthy so I ate him.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I’m told it’s cultural appropriation to use GIFs that depict identities other than my own, but screw that. You’ll have to rip my John Oliver GIFs from these hands (which admittedly would be easy since they’re both full of Mexican street tacos I bought from a blonde teen at a Wisconsin food court.)

static.klipy.com

John Oliver: Banger After Banger

Alt: John Oliver: Banger After Banger After Certified Banger

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

[Running into producer in elevator] Me: So, my script is a horror movie called "One-Trick Pony," about a tiny horse in a magician's cape who cuts people in half. Producer: [Frantically mashes the *Open Door* button]

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Some people just look divorced. They can't help it, Kevin. Don't stare.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

That mixed feeling when you see that the President of the United States spent literally half of his workday posting crazy batshit on social media and you're compelled to post your cringe over it ... online ... yeah ... look I got to get back to work.

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 14/07/2026

the dairy queen is just a figurehead the dairy parliament is the true seat of power

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Reality might be weird right now, but I must admit, "What if we tested an unproven drug with extreme side effects on a cartoon-villain who is also U.S. president?" is a most excellent premise.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

The Love Shack stopped being a little-known place, got some revenue and hasn’t been the same since. Shack doesn’t even shimmy anymore; they insulated the walls.

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 15/05/2025

[hearing police sirens in the distance] omg babe they're playing our song

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

she was rare like a goth gymnast

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

Me: [In a full bodycast in the ER] parachute pants my ass Brenda

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inkedupandsonic @sonictyrant.bsky.social · 25/04/2025

imagine if flamingos knew ballet

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Biollante @bivouacchillin.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Razorbills have the slickest design in the animal kingdom. They look like they were made by Yves Saint Laurent

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Henry Carlos Preinbeam, Jr. @birchchirper.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

As an English speaker, I do love stumbling upon Dutch content for the initial sensation that I am suffering from aphasia.

Britney Spears ’blaft, schreeuwt en trekt aandacht met een mes’ in restaurant in LA, woordvoerder reageert fel

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

Her: So you're French? Me: Bien sur. Her: Oh, I love French culture. Me: Perhaps you have heard of my favorite group of French novelists, Les G'ma? Her: No, Les G'ma? Tell me more. Me: But of course, Les G'ma Balzac.

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Stalled Traffic @stalledtraffic.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

The only solace I have is that what my scale is telling me is physiologically impossible.

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Rex Huppke @rexhuppke.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

Let he who has not teleported to a Waffle House cast the first stone through the teleportation device and into the parking lot of a different Waffle House hundreds of miles away.

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