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St. Simeon the Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social
1.9K followers 1.1K following 8.1K posts

Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou. Loss leader in Chaos Theology. Due to circumstances beyond our control. Are you criticizing my beans?

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Christmas Movie Bot 🎄🎬🤖 @christmasmoviebot.bsky.social · 6h
Journey Back To A Craft Sale (1965): A real husband sells his beard to buy a gold for his wife, but little does he know, she's sold her gold to buy him a beard.
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 6h
Pumpkin Spice Messiah
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 6h
#THEOLOGY
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 7h
Pumpkin Spice Functional Illiterate
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 8h
The Phantom of Heilbronn, also referred to as the Woman Without a Face, was a presumed female serial killer whose existence was inferred from DNA evidence found at 40 crime scenes across Austria, France and Germany from 1993 to 2009.

In March 2009, investigators concluded that the supposed serial killer did not exist, and the DNA belonged to a woman who worked at a factory that made the cotton swabs used for collecting DNA samples
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Christmas Movie Bot 🎄🎬🤖 @christmasmoviebot.bsky.social · 8h
Meet The Serial Killers (2005): Upon her untimely death, a starving interior designer becomes a Solstice angel, and is assigned to haunt a businessman. But will she accidentally take over for him?
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 8h
ME: Oh yeah? Well if you’re so tough, let’s see you try to roundhouse kick me off the top of this building! MY STUNT DOUBLE: I really wish you’d stop doing that ME: Hey what’s even the point of having a stunt double if I can’t go around antagonizing mob bosses?
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The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 10h
Well, it is Christmas time, Mario.
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 10h
Following a random sentence wth “That’s what she said,” but only if it makes absolutely zero sense as an innuendo “Please check in at the customer service desk if you need your parking validated.” “That’s what she said!” “……”
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Paranormal Pandy 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
Steve Miller: Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah Me: seriously? Steve: Some call me the gangster of love Me: I call bs Steve: some people call me Maurice Me: ok that one sounds believable
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ADHD Creature @adhd-preacher.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Aristippus gestures dolefully to Diogenes. “Ah, Diogenes. If you would but learn to flatter the king, you would not need to eat bread and lentils!” Diogenes, quick with the retort, replies “Ah, Aristippus. If you would but learn to eat bread and lentils, you would not need to flatter the king!”
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
:taps sign: :no I just thought it would be a good moment for us to look at this sign:
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Pumpkin Spice Central Time
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Subconscious Mind
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Christmas Movie Bot 🎄🎬🤖 @christmasmoviebot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Mayor, Jr. (1974): Grumpy Cat must destroy the biggest threat to Christmas yet: A piano.
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phil @philjamesson.com · 30/09/2026
as always when this is posted, i have to fondly remember the time someone stole this tweet word for word, including using my name as the punchline, then claimed it was just independent discovery
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Everything I hear about the latest AI models is giving me a serious case of FONMO
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The Phantom Tollbooth Quotes @phantomtollbot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"We're looking for a place to spend the night." "It's not yours to spend," the bird shrieked again, and followed it with the same horrible laugh. "That doesn't make any sense, you see—" he started to explain. "Dollars or cents, it's still not yours to spend," the bird replied haughtily.
A large, dirty, greasy bird
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I simply don’t trust people to develop Super Intelligence when they haven’t even got the regular kind.
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These Might Be Lyrics @tmbgbot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
today Elephants are coming through your house today
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
DRIVE THRU: may i take your order ERIC SCHMITT: yeah i’ll have a cheesy gordita and nachos bell grande DRIVE THRU: sir this is a wendy’s
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Political Commentary Bot Is Undefeated, cont’d.
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The dictionary definition of Comedy is when this happens to somebody else!
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Call it Super Intelligence
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Sammi @clairyjoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
She’s starting to move around and jump on things normally while wearing it 😍
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
#THEOLOGY
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NosferaPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Me: *skips a rock perfectly across a pond* Fred Flintstone: OH NO MY CELL PHONE
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I just found out I am apparently in a starter pack named “A Break From The Madness, Sponsored By Madness” and I feel very seen right now 🥰
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
SCROOGE: You there, boy! What day is it? BOY: Today? Why, it’s August 22! SCROOGE: But then why the— GHOST: I am the Spirit of Christmas Retail
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The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Smash 'em, bust 'em, break 'em! That's what I wanna see! Broken toys! I hate Christmas! I hate gifts! I hate giving! Christmas... Bah humkoop!
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
lowly worm putting a sticker on his apple car "i bought this before mr frumble went crazy"
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
awoke this morning with a Vision
that diagram showing  the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Luddite
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Intrinsic Fraud
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
My favorite seasonal cocktail
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Accessory Before The Fact
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joe @shariauncle.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
increasingly feels like my Perfectly Fine liberal arts education was an artifact grabbed fleeing a burning temple
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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Measuringe the value of educacioun by returne on ynvestment onlye ys lyke measuringe the value of a garden by the weight of the floweres
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Joan Of Arc
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
The Englishman Who Walked With Ten Thousand Men Up To The Top Of The Hill And Marched Them Down Again
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 28/01/2024
You might assume that God’s name is the first name to appear in the Bible, but actually Gene’s is.
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Here’s one that is extremely powerful: “Dude, gross.”
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Blair Loudly @blairloudly.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
why are you eating all those french fries [me] you told me to hydrate what [me] car-bo-hydrate its right there in the word
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Lydia hates AI @revlydiaposselt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Haaaaaaaaa this might be me
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Paul McCartney
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
PS.D.
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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Pumpkin Spice Coronary
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I asked my cat’s advice on AI models, but I just got clawed.
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Bill Mudron @mudron.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
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St. Simeon the Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Looks like some of you woke up this morning and chose Texas
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