iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

This part of town is about survival, but I imagine they will.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

Religion is what happens when mansplaining gets out of control.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

I can't recommend recommendations enough.

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John Griffin @jjcgriff.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

White House job interview question leaked. "You see a boat on the open seas. Which international law do you choose to violate and why?"

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

Today is that rare day where my hair is kempt and ruly. Usually it's the opposite.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 10/12/2025

There was a run on calling birds and French hens at the local store today.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 09/12/2025

Mick Jagger has a great-granddaughter who is two years older than one of his sons. I assume Ancestry Dot Com will eventually cancel the family membership.

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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

WOLF: little pig, little pig, let me come in PIG: not by the hair on my chinny chin chin! WOLF: what PIG: i said go away!! WOLF: no say what you said before PIG: seriously fuck off

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

Here's a fun thing you can do. Take the first number of your first name. Force it through the Pythagorean Theorem somehow. Now think about your height (in kms) and add it to your porn name. That’s the number of calories you will consume this holiday season!

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 07/12/2025

instead of flowers people should throw ham slices onto the ice those skaters need protein

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 07/12/2025

Far away from the rooftop in Snowtown where the reindeer quietly unlatch the sleigh with their magic hooves, Mrs. Claus imagines the peaceful, quiet evening she will have when the reindeer return alone from the sky.

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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

The Bic corporation was started by one man who needed to shave, write something down, and set something on fire at the same time

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

Conversely, I think there needs to be a strain of mistletoe that allows you to punch someone you don't like in the face.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

Since our bodies are all loaded up with plastic anyway, I've decided to get friends and family edible Tupperware for Christmas.

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captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

i hope they spell Zebra Popcornopolis correctly on my death certificate

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 04/12/2025

Birdemic: The 12 Days of Christmas

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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 04/12/2025

I notice you, but I’m not in notice with you.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 03/12/2025

The sad truth is that most Grinches die of an enlarged heart.

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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 09/10/2025

my magic 8 ball just started adding “bro” to all its responses

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

I’ve opened a Build-a-Bear Workshop, but I regret the five months I’ve built in for winter hibernation that sees us closed over the lucrative holiday season.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

I've been to Whoville, and I now believe that "roast beast" is just their word for low-grade badger flank.

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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

ME: million dollar idea: fmail GOOGLE: billion dollar idea: gmail ME: *narrows eyes* trillion dollar idea: hmail

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

The pizza chows down on power pellets, we devour the pizza, and the circle of life— Wait, why did our pizza suddenly turned invisible?

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

This video fireplace is mesmeric. And yes, fireplace, I will devour all the cheese wheels in the house.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

Just passed out and my life flashed before my eyes and wow that was an awful lot of mayonnaise.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

I feel like, eventually, in the flight attendant instructions, they’re gonna have to add a demonstration on Zip-tying unruly passengers.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

I sometimes think I'll be punished eternally, like Sisyphus, after death, except my ghost will be forced to "hold up" the Leaning Tower of Pisa for a never-ending line of influencers taking photographs.

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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 01/12/2025

The Munsters poses the chilling question, what if your parents were a vampire and a Frankenstein? The Addams Family poses the chilling question, what if your parents were openly sexual?

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 30/11/2025

There aren’t enough Christmas carols about paying alimony.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 30/11/2025

Bought one of those arcade claw machines and am filling it with cole slaw.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

Product placement from the most recent “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”movie. Serial murder and Cheez-Its: a winning combo.

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Rob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

*struggling to make small talk with a meteorologist* So, thunder only happens when it's raining, right?

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

Got full on the yearly Thanksgiving shabu shabu just as the original American settlers did. And dug into leftovers today.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

Hanging the Thanksgiving leftovers above the entrance to our place to keep the werewolves from entering.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

I like to go to zen gardens and shout at things.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

Going to a Viking funeral today. I’ve got to remember to wear the clothes I don’t mind smelling of woodsmoke later.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 27/11/2025

My doctor’s tongue depressor tasted like grape again. It can’t be sanitary to reuse popsicle sticks.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

Native Americans had a great respect for life and made use of the whole animal when they had to kill it for food. In related news, I've just captured an indoor spider.

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

give a man a fish, he eats for a day teach a man to fish, if he is willing to take on high-interest loans in order to pay fish tuition

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

Got an excellent deal on razor wire at the Dangerous Fencing Supply Superstore. And my Christmas shopping is done.

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Splendid Hobo @splendidhobo.bsky.social · 18/11/2025

I only buy bread so I don’t have to suffer the ignominy of putting slabs of butter directly in my mouth

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 25/11/2025

In old Norway, a turducken was a turtle stuffed inside an eider duck stuffed inside a kraken.

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John Griffin @jjcgriff.bsky.social · 23/11/2025

They're printing the 2026 Bingo cards and people are running out of the factory screaming.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

Prepping to deep fry a turkey next to a pile of oil-soaked rags and kindling. Hopefully, I won’t burn the house down again.

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bacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

When you find yourself in bear country always carry a steak to throw at any hungry grizzlies that cross your path so they know how delicious you will be.

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Shawn Carlow @shawncarlow.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

Swinging into the holiday season by starting a Cash 4 Frankincense business with all of my magi friends.

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