Sign in

sam

@samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social
34 followers 84 following 7 posts

you don't have to go. i just take a left up here, hop on the freeway down to mexico. in a couple of hours, we're sitting on the beach in baja having margaritas.

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by sam
DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
dig through the TINKER and burn through the TAILOR and slam in the back of my SOLDIER SPY
172573645
Reposted by sam
Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
And now mom says ice cream isn’t dinner. What’s going on? What does this mean? Dinner is food and last time I checked, ice cream is food. So what’s this really all about? The answer is simple: power
A screenshot of Tucker Carlson with a filter used to make him look roughly 10 years old
736097719
sam @samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
the key to a happy marriage is watching terriers together
000
Reposted by sam
ceej @ceej.online · 07/01/2026
"what are we going to do with 20,000 ICE agents if we abolish ice" well to start with I think we should all literally spit on them in public for the rest of their lives
458148803144
Reposted by sam
Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 28/12/2025
Can’t argue with that
834637
sam @samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
rewatching terriers again and it's still my favorite show fx has ever aired. every episode rules ass, every part perfectly cast. it's such a bummer we didn't get more. nothing has quite scratched the same itch since. stumptown was close. the lowdown is probably the closest, but damn I miss terriers
000
Reposted by sam
a team of bumblebees @saramchenry.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
jeffrey epstein won't see your jokes about how poorly written his emails were, but your barely literate friends also won't see them, because they can't read. fire away
153835569
Reposted by sam
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
😭 IG newberlinlibrary
210159963485
Reposted by sam
Tom Freeman @tomfreeman.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Happy 15th anniversary of the peak achievement of literary criticism, to all who celebrate
Amazon review of Pride and Prejudice, left by carlton p morgan on 30 July 2010: "Just a bunch of people going to each other's houses"
104148563923
sam @samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
wife and I are watching chicago med and this man has a gun in his booty
100
Reposted by sam
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
*John Darnielle voice* Mercy for the Blowjob Brothers
654572
Reposted by sam
The Pub-Liking Universal Friend @johnb78.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
Hadn't expected him to end up there tbh
1373
Reposted by sam
NANCY COMICS BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER @nancycomics.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller May 27,1949
NANCY BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER 

SIGN-
JAM
SESSION
ADMISSION
FREE

NANCY AND SLUGGO HAVING READ THE SIGN, MISTAKE THE MUSICAL JAM SESSION FOR A SESSION OF EATING JAM
1294280
Reposted by sam
KOJAMF🤘🖤🤘 @kojamf.bsky.social · 24/05/2025
1092621438
Reposted by sam
Colin Spacetwinks @spacetwinks.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
IN THIS HOUSE We Believe GROSSE POINTE BLANK is an underrated movie THAT CONTAINS one of dan aykroyd's BEST PERFORMANCES
2645966
sam @samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
010
Reposted by sam
Brian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
financial advice in a weird time: -- develop a plan -- find friends who support you -- preferably 10 of them -- steal $160 million from the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand -- yes those are Terry Benedict's casinos -- get your wife back -- one of the friends should be Don Cheadle btw simple
145118452204
Reposted by sam
lunch enjoyer @hoaagie.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Springsteen singing about the chicken man
181349260
Reposted by sam
Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
Dick Cheney literally shot a lawyer in the face and the motherfucker apologized to Cheney
Most based vice president in history.
3667233
Reposted by sam
Sam “The Great Pumpkin” Thielman @samthielman.com · 26/03/2025
HEGSETH: Just CONFIRMED W/ CENTCOM we are a GO for mission lunch. WALTZ: mission lunch VANCE: mf said mission lunch GABBARD: can we get mission lunch from panera
1081089
Reposted by sam
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
What’s even worse is that Hegseth leaked that Kim and Hugo got PINNED.
3647673774
Reposted by sam
Andy Boyle @andymboyle.bsky.social · 24/03/2025
please don’t text me war plans, because I’m actually at capacity right now and I don’t think I can hold appropriate space for you. do you have someone else you could reach out to?
141164712799
Reposted by sam
Miss Marjorie Regrets @coffinsneeze.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
🤭
blindfolded goats being airlifted. One is saying “i hope you die” and the other one’s saying “i hope we both die”
5343
Reposted by sam
wint @dril.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
can i unrescue my rescue dog if it is a Narcissist
2269860900
Reposted by sam
born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
[hostage negotiation] CHUCK SCHUMER: [outside with bullhorn] YOU CAN SHOOT ALL OF THE HOSTAGES, JUST LET THEM GO AFTERWARDS
344111797
Reposted by sam
sadvil 😎 @sadvil.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
SEAN BEAN’S CHARACTER FROM GOLDENEYE: and so the plan was, you know, to use this giant space satellite to EMP all of Britain GAVIN NEWSOM: right right, I’m with you BEAN: to trigger a new Stone Age, basically NEWSOM: we don’t agree on everything, but I don’t see what’s so controversial about that
842954
Reposted by sam
Jesse Hawken @jessehawken.bsky.social · 12/03/2025
CLIFFORD (1994)
Elon and Trump in a Tesla
2747
Reposted by sam
chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
no please, the king of carrot flowers pt. 1 was my father, call me the king of carrot flowers pts. 2 & 3.
726046
Reposted by sam
the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
realized while emptying the dishwasher that Yoda is precisely wrong. not malevolently so. but there is no do and there is no do not. there is only try. this is clear to a man in his mid-fifties and so should be clear to a 900-year-old Jedi knight
1825421521
Reposted by sam
Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
the guy who played big pete on pete and pete is so cool
displayname i think elon musk should kill himself
231863315
sam @samsnotmyfriend.bsky.social · 26/02/2025
010
Reposted by sam
domvan @domvan.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Weird how much the NBA has changed, 20 years ago shot distribution looked like two squirrels chasing each other but now it just looks like my parents fighting?
A heatmap distribution of the average shot taken in an NBA season, comparing ’04-05 to ‘24-25
441407140
Reposted by sam
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
if you were accidentally fired while transporting a nuclear warhead and currently need a place to stay with said warhead please know that i have a sizable backyard and an abiding desire to be a nuclear power
474265673737
Reposted by sam
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 31/01/2025
Jesus when the fuck was that
992661162
Reposted by sam
Hamburger Dipshit🌹 @dohimjob.com · 26/01/2025
Absolutely unbelievable ad in the community theater playbill.
1468013826