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chef, the online tits

@cheftips.bsky.social
52K followers 816 following 14K posts

my ass has a Michelin star, eat up

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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
WHY DOES STUFF COST MONEY
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Microplastics Sommelier @leastactionhero.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
fair warning that this is about to become a deranged anti-yankee hate account and i cannot be held responsible for my words or actions
Sticker with Red Sox socks reading ANTI-FASCIST / ANTI-YANKEES
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 29/09/2026
The Talmud teaches that anyone who sustains one soul, has sustained an entire world. For generations, Jewish New Yorkers have sustained our city. Today, we are launching the first-ever municipal Strategy to Combat Antisemitism.
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
freaky fucking pillow
An “All Positions PLUS” pillow
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
this may be the first skeet
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
freaky fucking pillow
An “All Positions PLUS” pillow
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 17/12/2024
Government drones above my barn: How long will the radical left liberals cover this up? They keep calling it “the big dipper” but I know it’s just drones.
Drones.
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
when you have to hand someone an item they left behind in the bathroom after you shit in there and they have to wait the whole poo and they can here you pooping and by the sink it was wet cuz someone else had been in there and got the thing all wet so you wash your hands then dry the item and dry
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
off the water from the item and hand it to the person, and they look at you as if you’ve killed their whole family cuz they probably think their item is just COVERED in your poo stuffs, so you have to awkwardly hand the item to the person and speed walk away to avoid explaining that you DIDN’T SHIT
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
on the item, and you’re mortified so you write a poasté about it
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alex @dhul-qarnayn.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
i'm a centrist - i believe in compromise, the rule of law, and hold our institutions sacrosanct. this is why i have chosen famed incrementalist and notoriously law-abiding and institution-loving John Brown as my online avatar.
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
when you have to hand someone an item they left behind in the bathroom after you shit in there and they have to wait the whole poo and they can here you pooping and by the sink it was wet cuz someone else had been in there and got the thing all wet so you wash your hands then dry the item and dry
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
tim meadows is the best
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
if you want free coffee from DD you can put “JUST4U” into the app and get it!
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
if you want free coffee from DD you can put “JUST4U” into the app and get it!
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
sleep is a social construct
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
sleep is a social construct
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
chicken of the stump
Some chicken of the woods 
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
chicken of the stump
Some chicken of the woods 
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Oh my God, all of the fucking douches and losers have the money and power
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I WAS IN A STORE AND SOMEONE MUST HAVE SKIPPED PRIVATE IDAHO CUZ IT STARTED PLAYING THEN QUICKLY STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF????
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I WAS IN A STORE AND SOMEONE MUST HAVE SKIPPED PRIVATE IDAHO CUZ IT STARTED PLAYING THEN QUICKLY STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF????
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
omg i fucking hate this song
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
“Cum. Is. Not. Social. Media.” ——A real person
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
a new nickname is due! vote for a new name for the chef tips account (trademark)
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huck mason @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
skipped a pretty key step in the movie review process here
the free press: Hold Your Applause for the New Gaza Documentary
There may yet be hard truths in 'NAZA,, including evidence of Israel's systemic failures. But the reporting around it treats flimsy claims as proof of criminality.I haven't seen the film. This means I cannot confidently assess its editing, corroboration, or the
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
whozitwhatzit
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
shit is shitty
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
the chefly tits center will be opening in 2027
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
the chefly tits center will be opening in 2027
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
WARNING: i will now demolish the kennedy center
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
what would you even call a flibertygibbit
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
no way
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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Me: I’d like a slice of pizza Server: that comes with three sides Me: I know what shape it is
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
gouda french herb omelette grilled cheese
Gouda and french herb omelette grilled cheese on a porcelain plate
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
HUNGRY?
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
HUNGRY?
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
no but that’s not what that huh
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
tennis
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
tennis
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
abuser beats maga republican
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
everytime i think we’ve reached the dumbest thing ever i just get suprised
Lmaoooo isn't Ann Frank like a book or
something (the comment reads)
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
everytime i think we’ve reached the dumbest thing ever i just get suprised
Lmaoooo isn't Ann Frank like a book or
something (the comment reads)
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
id be more scared if shit wasn’t batshit crazy just for a day
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ITYSL memes 💦🥩 @ityslmemes.com · 12/07/2026
In memoriams don’t usually include how they died
The “baby of the year” in memoriam freeze frame from the sketch comedy show I Think You Should Leave, where Sam Richardson’s character, host of the awards show, is on a stage looking up at a projection screen. This is an edited version where the screen has Lindsey Graham’s picture. It says “Little Lindsey Graham, 1955-2026, consumed by a lifetime of evil.”
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
My mom was a union organizer for 25 years. I walked picket lines of wildcat strikes with her. We used to run bake sales and trivia nights to support striking workers. You wouldn't survive 3 seconds in her vagina. It would shrivel up what's left of your balls. I miss her terribly.
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
fuck you
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
no
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
yesterday the challah was dry, the rugelach was burnt and horrifying, and the matzo ball soup was disgusting. they were also worried that the people protesting on college campuses were antisemitic. no. they should be looking into whoever cooked this food 
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chef, the online tits @cheftips.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
yesterday the challah was dry, the rugelach was burnt and horrifying, and the matzo ball soup was disgusting. they were also worried that the people protesting on college campuses were antisemitic. no. they should be looking into whoever cooked this food 
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