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Twink ‼️💥

@salmonpinktwink.bsky.social
191 followers 281 following 103 posts

🇨🇦 24 bisexual poly TWINK with uncanny ability to max out credit card

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daryl "rupert pumpkin" b 🏳️‍⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
tim robinson making a ridiculous order at the drive thru
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GoOoOoOoOose @phatcussy.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
knuckles echidna saying shadow trust me this plan will be better because im gonna smoke my smart weed. im smarter when im high..
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
80s: My Neighbor Totoro 90s: Good Will Hunting 00s: The Royal Tenenbaums 10s: One Piece Film: Z 😔🤡 20s: Challengers
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
friend of mine had this idea for a tattoo that's been in my head for months
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Alex Elizabeth Byrne McMillan @undeniablyalex.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK
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skeeter devilpenis @guypussy.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
asking pussy hut for more pussy and then tell me they’re all out of pussy. i reply what the hell you’re pussy hut how do you run out of pussy. they reply well sir what else could we run out of instead. i said touché and headed to papa pussys
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 19/05/2026
I'd suck him 'til he was crying tears of joy and then lick the tears up
Toby from the office
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onion person @junlper.beer · 24/05/2026
still so funny to me so many far right people heavily personally identified with homelander, a character who was only ever calm when he was able to drink breastmilk of women in his life and act like a literal baby with them
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 21/05/2026
worst part of being in the gulag is trying to eat my maggot-infested gruel with no youtube
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 10/05/2026
this is literally how it feels to be a #boy listening to #music
Jim Halpert listening to music on his ipod with his earbudsJim Halpert listening to music on his ipod with his earbuds
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Hmmm interesting, go fuck yourself I paid for my shit
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
i had to go into my archives to find this
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🪱𝔼𝕟𝕠𝕔𝕙🪱 @oddoblivion.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
How I speak to my beasts
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 04/04/2026
shawty said she wants to Relish my Spear, i said Dill and gave her way more than just the Chip, if you pickle up what im putting down...
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AstOnPoint @astonpoint.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
The whimsy of this guy seems stellar. Taking advantage of this individual is nothing short a pack of wolves tearing into an unbeknownst sheep just enjoying the grass. And for what… a laugh? Shame on you.
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
You could sell this man icecubes in the Arctic
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Spooxie 👻😱 @roxieproxy.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not
A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live.

"This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario."

The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?"

NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD."

Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version."

PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"
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Brian Tallerico @briantallerico.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
Conner4Real will return in Avengers: Doomsday.
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 03/01/2026
My mom asked if I've seen Beast Games
media.tenor.com
a close up of a man wearing a helmet
ALT: a close up of a man wearing a helmet
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
My favorite semi-local antiques shop has taxidermied animal heads and dressed them up for the holidays 😭
Spooky taxidermied animal. Could be a coyote. Not really sure.Festive taxidermied deer. Has a Santa hat on with ornaments on his antlers.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 28/12/2025
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Lady Emily ☄️ @ladyemily.nebula.tv · 20/12/2025
Found a perfect song!! Thank you!!
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furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 13/12/2025
society: you can't steal from your neighbor's mailbox also society: here's a guy with way more interesting mail than you. he lives right next to you and he probably doesn't even care about his mail forgetful police officer: do you know why i pulled you over?
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Jonesybonesy @jonesysoda.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Killed w a fit like this seeing #FreddieDredd live 😛
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 13/04/2025
ME: and my imagination is so powerful i can be scared all night just from thinking of one monster. and let's face it, there's usually way more than that. so yeah, i'm pretty brave. not much gets to me anymore BEST BUY CASHIER: so. no on the protection plan ME: i'm getting there
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
do i experience toxicity on here? well let's just say i have thirty thousand followers and yet all of my posts have fewer than thirty thousand favs. have you ever heard of gang stalking
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 03/10/2025
while you were having sex, i was studying the mysteries of the world. Fuck I should have been having sex too fuck my life you're so much cooler than me fuck fuck fuck
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Jonesybonesy @jonesysoda.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Us if we were turned into the wise pumpkins of old
Me (gorgeous) and @salmonpinktwink.bsky.socialTwo nefarious pumpkins
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 11/09/2025
my five year plan? jerking off mostly
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Jacob Geller @jacobgeller.com · 31/08/2025
If I can be honest and vulnerable for a second, sometimes I struggle to turn my haters into waiters at the table of success
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ceej @ceej.online · 05/10/2024
antisemitism is crazy because like, I do not recognize any of those tropes in my jewish friends. if they were like, “Jews… not good at Halo” I’d be like oh shit, they’re talking about my buddy Adam
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Stereogum @stereogum.com · 11/08/2025
The plan? Get fired from Foo Fighters so you get to meet Nathan Fielder.
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Rob Sheridan @rob-sheridan.com · 11/08/2025
The starstruck look on his face is so wholesome. Doesn’t matter how famous you get, meeting your adolescent idols hits different.
An Instagram post from Nine Inch Nails showing Nathan Fielder backstage with Trent Reznor and Atticus RossA school yearbook photo of teenage Nathan Fielder wearing a NIN shirt.
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Nine Inch Nails @nin.com · 11/08/2025
Nathan Fielder, Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross PEEL IT BACK NORTH AMERICAN LEG AUGUST 10TH • VANCOUVER
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
glad they stopped putting those revolting Ren and Stimpy style closeups in the Charmin bear commercials
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ivory @ioletsgo.gay · 19/07/2025
Sigh... This could've been a golf course... Such wasted space...
A picture of the Himalayan mountains
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ceej @ceej.online · 24/09/2024
it is legitimately unbelievable that I have to know what a pivot table is when I was meant to tend to a large spit of roasted chickens for the rowdy but lovable patrons of a fantasy inn
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GoOoOoOoOose @phatcussy.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
(explaining polycules to an American) Imagine several burgers
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dissected @trepanation.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
1 bedroom. beautiful view. no amenities. $2000/month
unabomber cabin inside a storage facility
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👻Skulliam🎃Boo-tler🍂Yikes🕷️ @yeets.biz · 22/05/2025
"materialism is bad boohoo things won't make you happy" that's a trinketless mindset, those are the words of somebody who doesn't have cool stuff
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Jack Saint @lackingsaint.bsky.social · 18/05/2025
when you turn 50 on this site you are automatically assigned your bio that says "pizza enjoyer. dog petter. Wordle Fan. Believer in Truth and Normality. nazi disagreer. Cheeto denouncer. expert in knock knock jokes"
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
This decade in film has been phenomenal so far
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dirt squirrel @dirtsquirrel.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
if your sick wife is like three hours from death, busting her free to smoke meth and get railed to slayer one last time is fuckin awesome and sweet and you can't convince me otherwise
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Joe-ker "why so serious" 🎃 <(guess the movie) @robotfaker.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Horizontal Menu Greg was hired in 2016 and cannot be fired or moved off UI design due to a loophole in his contract
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Gay guy who only watches straight porn instead because it passes the bechdel test
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Twink ‼️💥 @salmonpinktwink.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
Every week I go to a new doctor for my 'first' prostate exam. Having fun can be affordable, even free, if you're willing to think outside the box.
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