Reposted by furby hancockAzure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You have a new message on MyNemesis. Subject: You thought you could hide from me? 026862
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 23/09/2026the point of math isn't to produce theorems. it's to humble oneself at the altar of infinity. if 'mathematician' disappears as a profession, humanity will lose its connection to the platonic realm and become a race of soulless automatons 0332
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 16/09/2026FDA recalls 46,000 units of pleasure over possible contamination with lead. suffering is not thought to have been affected 1597
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 13/09/2026it feels like everything is constantly getting dumber but we actually reached Peak Folly in 2025. aphids got insanely wise over the past year and are set to surpass plants by november 2444
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 13/09/2026ohhh. you 'catch' a baseball bc everything in life comes with a catch. and you 'pitch' a baseball bc the world-soul is black as pitch 1193
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Diva's Focus Once per turn, you can expend a Diva Point to take an extra bonus action. You start with a number of Diva Points equal to your Diva Level. 0223
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 28/08/2026yo mammas so radiant, she lights up the room, THEN flicks the light switch 0282
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 27/08/2026entomologist reportedly 'very close' to a final count of insects. "please dont distract me." 211510
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 22/08/2026God ranked every soul—you won't believe who came in 1804717749th 3654
Reposted by furby hancockAzure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Conventional wisdom: Look before you leap. True wisdom: Leap constantly, everywhere. 1533
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 19/08/2026if you loved 'okay classic' youve got to check out 'just okay'. it's fine 1311
Reposted by furby hancockChris 𓅨 @bigjuncofan.bsky.social · 18/08/2026I hired a bull to manage my china shop and it "went rogue" and/or "broke containment" by smashing all of my inventory 1534
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 18/08/2026interviewer: so what is it like to be a bat? bat 1: sucks bat 2: i wouldn't trade it for anything, except to show you just how beautiful it is. 18512
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 15/08/2026mental health professionals recommend setting aside an eternity each day to disengage from the flow of time 1676
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 15/08/2026clueless white guy PERPLEXES and IRRITATES restaurant staff by ordering h₂egʷnós in perfect proto-indo-european 011117
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 13/08/2026highly controversial 'molehill issue' of mountains quarterly 012621
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 08/08/2026i want to edit pretty much everything i post immediately after posting. unfortunately there's simply no way to review what you've written before pressing send 0563
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 08/08/2026new oreo flavor deemed 'too dangerous' to release to the public 2524
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 05/08/2026finally, some good news: life satisfaction is set to enter the public domain in 2065 0191
Reposted by furby hancockorcus @goblin.news · 31/07/2026what will the moths do once they reach the moon? 1311521
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Dialethism, or: How I learned to stop worrying and keep worrying and love contradictions and hate contradictions 3504
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 30/07/2026my uncle is actually a dysmorphia scientist so i get to see all the industrial-grade insecurities before they hit the consumer market 0392
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 29/07/2026friend: hey we're all affirming the consequent if you want to come with me: well, if you are then i want to join 0301
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 27/07/2026discourse scientists predict the existence of a 'god take', a hypothetical opinion-like object which instantly kills the reader 418523
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 26/07/2026i miss when total systems collapse was a new, exciting change of pace and not an inconvenience that i'm rich enough to mostly ignore 0242
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 25/07/2026going blind because my photosynthetic coworker left a sunbeam in the office fridge 0261
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 21/07/2026"where do you see yourself in five years" probably with my hand stuck in a trap because i won't let go of the banana 28510
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 21/07/2026every* squad has the** maximal homie*** *nonempty squad with unity **not necessarily unique ***assuming the axiom of choice 2476
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 18/07/2026Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. Cannot CHECK PHONE in combat. You were killed by DARK WIZARD! 2756521605
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 15/07/2026once you start noticing confirmation bias, you realize it's behind everything 012015
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Everything good in the world is being destroyed, and there's not a shred of hope that we'll get any of it back. (For our readers across the pond, a shred is about 1.6 metric glimmers.) 0454
Reposted by furby hancockAzure Emerald Empire @azureemeraldempire.bsky.social · 10/07/2026Pain is weakness destroying the body 0364
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 10/07/20265000 year old bit discovered in present-day Iraq "Judging by contemporaneous sources, the humor wasn't necessarily clear at the time either" 0242
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 08/07/2026researchers warn of sugar-resistant 'super medicines' that could take as many as four or five spoonfuls to go down 342553
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 06/07/2026Patrick Stewart was invented [discovered?] in Yorkshire, England in the early 1940s. 0241
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 05/07/2026My latest for the Atlantic: Why I Left the Koi Pond by the Entrance to the Zoo 𝘕𝘰, 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵. 0271
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 05/07/2026it can be seen by unraveling definitions that special cases are a special case of generalities, which are simply special case objects in the case-enriched category of generalized quasi-caseoids 1182
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 05/07/2026in 451, the council of chalcedon established *definitively* that jesus was both fully australian and fully chinese 0453
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 02/07/2026getting nostalgic over the food flakes they put in my tank 12 seconds ago 0907
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 02/07/2026checking the comments on my aquarium and its all the same goldfish posting 'anyone still swimming in 2026?' over and over 0190
Reposted by furby hancockdirté @dirte.net · 29/04/2024frantically shouting "don't laugh" in my funny grey alien voice 0263
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 26/06/2026i work at a nonprofit teaching aliens improv comedy and pretty much every sketch ends with total annihilation of the earth 18412
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 26/06/2026they replaced my maslow pyramid with a 5-over-1. the sushi place where my physiological needs used to be is actually really good 0442
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 25/06/2026me: (barely audible over seal - kiss from a rose) i think i have anxiety therapist: (turning up the volume) have you tried listening to seal - kiss from a rose? 316331
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 24/06/2026the laurels in the fridge are MINE. im resting on them later. unopened thing in the cabinet is fair game 0200
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 24/06/2026leaving my eleven year old son at the fire station bc he didn't tell me it was jody's birthday yesterday 0171
furby hancock @furbyhancock.bsky.social · 21/06/2026requesting the entire ring cycle at a piano bar 0252
