iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Popehat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 28/07/2023

The Rule of Goats is this: If you fuck a goat, you’re a goatfucker. It doesn’t matter that you were fucking the goat ironically, or to troll people. You fucked a goat.

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Durrell @durrell.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

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Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

This studio awards-season email is really matching the current mood in a way I’m not sure they intended.

An email starting with “for your consideration: Nuremberg”

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Stephanie 🍉 @ageofoddish.bsky.social · 29/11/2025

Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread

My hand holding a shortbread cookie in the shape of an airplane. There are red sprinkles in the pattern of the survivorship bias plane.

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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

Here's a note I sent to our members about what we did with their money, and why we expect the Onion to outgrow the Washington Post. We keep doing weird, hard shit — taunting ICE, yelling at Congress for not taunting ICE, buying bad websites — when nobody else does. Our members keep getting papers.

Hey there Onion members,

This is Ben Collins, CEO of America’s Finest News Source™.

I am writing today, as we have arrived at a precipice in American life, to thank you.

Our government is employing masked oafs to kidnap our neighbors, ziptie our children, and play Call of Duty: Burger King Edition in several American cities. The White House, otherwise occupied with taping an episode of HGTV’s “Help I Wrecked My House,” is hellbent on politically mandated starvation of the indigent. Worst of all, America’s airwaves have been taken over by dull throbbing moans only recently identified by scientists as something known as “Morgan Wallen.”

In short, it is not a good time out there, and our captured media has been too scared to call that out.

But, because of you, none of that is true at The Onion. For reasons we don’t like or understand, our work has become increasingly important.

You and your contribution over the last year have allowed The Onion to thrive in this precarious moment — to take risks and to say sentences mere moments before those thoughts become criminalized.

We need your help in the next year to bolster that fight as things get precipitously worse.

Because of your support, The Onion is now the 11th-most distributed newspaper in the United States, sandwiched between The Boston Globe and The Chicago Tribune. In the next year, our goal is to crack the top 10, and to surpass the circulation of the propaganda project of a notorious space pervert, Jeff Bezos and The Washington Post.

We’re confident we can reach this goal with your help. Unlike other publications, which all appear to have a fetish for caving to an increasingly maniacal and unpopular authoritarian government, The Onion remains unafraid to print the truth, straightforwardly and without favor.

Due to your patronage in the last year, we have:
Published 13 newspapers since the relaunch of our print edition in September of 2024. Over the summer, by popular demand, we increased the size of the paper by half.
Took out a full-page advertisement in the New York Times “calling upon lawmakers in Congress to sit back and do absolutely nothing,” then sent this op-ed to every member of the House and Senate and all 54,000 of our subscribers. Thankfully, they took our advice, and now people are starving.
Drove the Onion Newsvan in front of protests and ICE detention centers, blaring headlines about ICE’s one true love: teargassing elementary schools.
Released Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile in over 40 cities across North America and later on YouTube, and let independent theatres keep the ticket sales. It’s still unclear if we can write this off.

And, a year ago this week, we successfully bid on InfoWars at a bankruptcy auction, before the judgment was overturned by a judge for — and I’m paraphrasing here — being too cool.

Yes, despite a legal bill that rivals the GDP of West Virginia, we are continuing work to acquire InfoWars and evolve it into an galactically sized depot of lies, scams, and miracle cures for all of the world’s awesome new and untracked illnesses. The Supreme Court — yes, this Supreme Court — denied Alex Jones’ appeal just last month, a last gasp at evading justice, and we’re hoping this clears a path to reinventing the dumbest site on the internet very soon.

So ahead of this holiday season, please consider subscribing to The Onion for yourself, your friends, your parents, or your infant. People love getting something great in the mail every month amidst their requisite bills and death threats.

Look, we’re an independent company, we don’t use AI to write headlines and make art, and we’re one of roughly three publications who are up for the fight. Unlike other places, The Onion is quadrupling down on being a pain in the ass, politically.

Are you?

If so, I hope you’ll continue to be an Onion member, get the paper, and help us deliver ulcers to those who deserve it.

Thank you, and Tu Stultus Es,
Ben Collins
CEO | The Onion

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The Questionable Authority @questauthority.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

OK - pie discourse - best pie story: In 2016, we were living in Andover, in the UK. My wife was assigned as an exchange officer at the Army Air Corps base at Middle Wallop (yes, really).* The US Army has a tradition: senior leaders, in dress uniform, serve junior troops Thanksgiving dinner. /1

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Proton @proton.me · 31/10/2025

Last chance to turn it off. On Monday, November 3rd, Microsoft will start using your LinkedIn data for AI training. And remember, you're opted in by default. To toggle it off 👉 Account - Settings & Privacy > Data privacy > Data for Generative AI Improvement.

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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 30/10/2025

Well this is very nice. Thank you @alexfalcone.bsky.social

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NPR @npr.org · 30/10/2025

The White House plans to bar hospitals that treat transgender children and youth from getting any Medicare and Medicaid payments. The move would affect trans youth who have private insurance, too. n.pr/4qFa1mY

n.pr

Trump pushes an end to medical care for transgender youth nationally

The White House plans to bar hospitals that treat transgender children and youth from getting any Medicare and Medicaid payments. The move would affect trans youth who have private insurance, too.

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Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com · 30/10/2025

1. This morning, a flurry of movement in federal rulemaking signals Trump's intent to ban transgender youth care nationwide. If these rules go into effect, the administration may be successful in doing so. Subscribe to support our journalism.

erininthemorning.com

Trump Admin Attempts To Ban Trans Youth Care Nationwide With New Federal Rules

Three new rules pushed by the Trump administration may serve as the next wave of a federal crackdown on trans youth care.

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Lesley Carhart @hacks4pancakes.com · 29/10/2025

Hey, so as a veteran and incident responder I need to warn you to pay attention to something in America. The human brain is resilient. While you're watching kids get dragged away from the parents and people being beaten in the streets, you're accumulating trauma but also being desensitized.

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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

If you want to help us with legal expenses as we stand up to Trump, you can chip in at katforillinois.com/legal!

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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

I have been charged in a federal indictment sought by the Department of Justice. This political prosecution is an attack on all of our First Amendment rights. I’m not backing down, and we’re going to win.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 29/10/2025

The premise of The Exorcist is truly terrifying. Imagine having a 12-year-old daughter.

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Virginia Sapiro @vsapiro.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

A dinosaur talking with an NPR producer.

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Molly McKew @mollymckew.bsky.social · 18/10/2025

The kids are alright, y’all.

Sara Whitmer
• • •
1h • 88
I'm sure many of you have heard by now that earlier this week, IU k*lled the print edition of its student paper, the IDS. The issue that was supposed to print this week contained criticism of the Whitten regime and Is further slide into scist control, and they couldn't allow that to happen during Homecoming, when all the rich alumni are in town.
Enter Purdue! The Purdue student paper, The Exponent, owns its own presses. Yesterday, in an act of tremendous solidarity with their biggest rival school, they printed the forbidden issue of the IDS. They then drove it to Bloomington overnight and stocked all of the IDS boxes on campus, just in time for Homecoming.
Solidarity is what makes us stronger, and solidarity will be what ultimately allows us to triumph, if we can ever truly get it together. I hope everyone has a fun, safe day if they're going out today, and I hope we can think about what acts of solidarity we can begin taking to really make this movement MOVE - beyond a permitted expression of upset into more active resistance.
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TrustedReveler @trustedreveler.bsky.social · 08/10/2025

LA: we will fight you. Chicago: we will fight you. PDX: we will make you endure week after week of of improv theater.

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Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 11/10/2025

I wrote a little about some of the little details you might have missed in this video and why it hit me so hard as a trans person this morning: www.burnsnotice.com/you-have-to-...

burnsnotice.com

You Have to See This Mamdani Ad

I wasn't planning to post anything today. I dislike working and writing on weekends in general, but this was too important to ignore. You have to see this Zohran Mamdani campaign ad that came out this...

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Nikkolas Smith @4nikkolas.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

after millions of views and shares of my Portland Frog art. (thank you all🙏🏾) I got requests to highlight priests, and chickens, and Chicagoans, and T-Rexes, and more… all of us who refuse to bend the knee. so this is for US. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝚆𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚆𝚒𝚗.

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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

Welp, here it is: maybe the funniest thing we've ever done, in its entirety.

youtube.com

The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein

YouTube video by The Onion

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Jason Scott @textfiles.com · 07/10/2025

Okay, it's time. I have a prized Cult of the dead cow Zippo lighter. These simply do not exist anywhere. But a CDC member is hurting and I want to encourage donations to the GoFundMe, so out it goes. Details in thread.

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Colin Carlson @colincarlson.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

I've said this before, but I feel pretty strongly that the building of concentration camps - and now, the inevitable disappearance of 1,800 people from those camps - is the biggest story in American public health right now that isn't being treated like one

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folk tune stan account 🎻 @folktunes.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

This one's maybe a little on the ling side, but trust me, it's worth it. I've cried reading it multiple times. (1/3)

mylordshesacactus

Carpathia received Titanic's distress signal at 12:20am, April 15th, 1912. She was 58 miles away, a distance that absolutely could not be covered in less than four hours.

(Californian's exact position at the time is... controversial. She was close enough to have helped. By all accounts she was close enough to see Titanic's distress rockets. It's uncertain to this day why her crew did not respond, or how many might not have been lost if she had been there. This is not the place for what-ifs. This is about what was done.)

Carpathia's Captain Rostron had, yes, rolled out of bed instantly when woken by his radio operator, ordered his ship to Titanic's aid and confirmed the signal before he was fully dressed. The man had never in his life responded to an emergency call. His goal tonight was to make sure nobody who heard that fact would ever believe it.

All of Carpathia's lifeboats were swung out ready for deployment. Oil was set up to be poured off the side of the ship in case the sea turned choppy; oil would coat and calm the water near Carpathia if that happened, making it safer for lifeboats to draw up alongside her.

He ordered lights to be rigged along the side of the ship so survivors could see it better, and had nets and ladders rigged along her sides ready to be dropped when they arrived, in order to let as many survivors as possible climb aboard at once.

I don't know if his making provisions for there still being survivors in the water was optimism or not. I think he knew they were never going to get there in time for that. I think he did it anyway because, god, you have to hope.

Carpathia had three dining rooms, which were immediately converted into triage and first aid stations. Each had a doctor assigned to it. Hot soup, coffee, and tea were prepared in bulk in each dining room, and blankets and warm clothes were collected to be ready to hand out.

By this time, many of the passengers were awake-prepping a ship for disaster relief isn't quiet-and all of them stepped up to help, many donating their own clothes and blankets.

And then he did something I tend to refer to as diverting all power from life support.

Here's the thing about steamships: They run on steam. Shocking, I know; but that steam powers everything on the ship, and right now, Carpathia needed power. So Rostron turned off hot water and central heating, which bled valuable steam power, to everywhere but the dining rooms-which, of course, were being used to make hot drinks and receive survivors.

He woke up all the engineers, all the stokers and firemen, diverted all that steam back into the engines, and asked his ship to go as fast as she possibly could. And when she'd done that, he asked her to go faster.

I need you to understand that you simply can't push a ship very far past its top speed. Pushing that much sheer tonnage through the water becomes harder with each extra knot past the speed it was designed for. Pushing a ship past its rated speed is not only reckless-it's difficult to maneuver-but it puts an incredible amount of strain on the engines. Ships are not designed to exceed their top speed by even one knot. They can't do it. It can't be done.

Carpathia's absolute do-or-die, the-engines-can't-take-this-forever top speed was fourteen knots. Dodging icebergs, in the dark and the cold, surrounded by mist, she sustained a speed of almost seventeen and a half.

No one would have asked this of them. It wasn't expected. They were almost sixty miles away, with icebergs in their path. They had a responsibility to respond; they did not have a responsibility to do the impossible and do it well. No one would have faulted them for taking more time to confirm the severity of the issue. No one would have blamed them for a slow and cautious approach. No one but themselves.

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Dennis Goris | Cartoons @dennisgoris.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

I miss the old brand #CDC

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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 17/08/2025

Laura Loomer as the Rasputin figure in a decaying American empire really does make total sense. An attention-addicted College Republicans washout who looks like she told her plastic surgeon "just keep going until I say stop" is our rough equivalent of a Siberian sex wizard.

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shauna @goldengateblond.bsky.social · 18/08/2025

this is so wonderfully weird, give her all the golds 🥇

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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 13/08/2025

This Sunday, we’re hosting a back to school drive in Evanston with 500 free backpacks, all-day free haircuts, and free food by two of the best restaurants in Evanston! Drop by the Fleetwood-Jourdain Center this Sunday afternoon to start the school year with everything you need!

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lintile @lintile.lol · 10/08/2025

Hackers solve problems. I believe in our community. #DFIU

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DilDog 🅅 @dildog.l0pht.com · 21/07/2025

at least once per day i discover a problem with the thing i am working on that feels unsurmountable then i take a break and it occurs to me that the problem actually isnt real but somehow it feels great to solve a problem by being dumber than you previously thought you were

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Tanya Janca | SheHacksPurple @shehackspurple.bsky.social · 19/07/2025

Zoom meeting hacks

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Luke BOO 👻 ber @coolhand.bsky.social · 17/07/2025

When I search my feelings

A person holds a magnifying glass in front of a cat’s face, distorting the cat’s expression to look exaggeratedly angry and fierce, with enlarged fangs and a snarling mouth.

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tweety fish oh wow like a chimera or something spoooky @sifu.tweety.fish · 14/07/2025

The local bike path is now the site of a vigorously contested pet… election?… and it seems like something @darthbluesky.bsky.social should know about

13 brightly colored election style signs advocating voting for different pets, along a paved bike path

9 brightly colored election style signs advocating voting for different pets, along a paved bike path

5 brightly colored election style signs advocating voting for different pets, along a paved bike path

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METR @metr.org · 10/07/2025

We ran a randomized controlled trial to see how much AI coding tools speed up experienced open-source developers. The results surprised us: Developers thought they were 20% faster with AI tools, but they were actually 19% slower when they had access to AI than when they didn't.

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Atul Gawande @agawande.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

STAGGERING: This new study of 133 countries is the first to estimate the impact of all USAID’s work. In 2 decades, it has saved *92M* lives. Current cuts, if not reversed, are forecast to cost up to *14M* lives thru 2030. www.thelancet.com/journals/lan...

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Anne @anneb.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

New signs going up

A yellow diamond road sign sating "Watch for ice" with a police type figure oppressing a citizen

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Matt @tiredgenerally.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

do you ever think about how this is all happening for no reason at all?

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Farleigh Hanchet @farleigh.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

This absolute icon at Canterbury Pride 🩷🤍🩵

Person dressed as a knight with a trans flag and a cape with a trans flag shield that says “Trans Knights are human Knights”

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Jake Williams @malwarejake.bsky.social · 31/05/2025

Trump defundung science is like an elderly person taking out a reverse mortgage on their home: they're better off today, but their family will be worse off down the road The difference is Trump doesn't own the country and he'll be long gone before the US is a punch line in the scientific community

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Gillian Branstetter @gbbranstetter.bsky.social · 18/05/2025

A quilt from Idaho made up of letters from parents to their transgender kids. "Thank you for showing the world how to embrace the truth of who you are. May we all learn from your courage and strength."

A white quilt with multicolored text blocks stitched across it

Dear son.

lou have been our moon and stars since the day you
were born. When we adopted you, we counted allyour
fingers and your little toes. Our whole world has
centered around you and your siblings. Over the years
we have had our triumphs and our struggles. We are
here today;
O
shout from the rooftops, we are so
proud of you and the person you have become. Your
intelligence has always amazed us. The care and
compassion you have for others is astounding. Your
character has never wavered. The way you handle
yourself S!
unstoppable. Chase your dreams, be who
you are, unapologetically! You witl always be the light
of our life. Together we witt conquer the world one day
at a time.

All our love, Mom

Dad

Dear M,
I love seeing you express yourself. love your confidence. love watching you figure out who you are. I'm sorry that I didn't encourage that more during your childhood. I wish you could have felt free to be you in high school, but I'm happy that college has given you that freedom. I'm committed to making home a place where you can always feel safe. I will always be your mom, hug you back, blow good dreams to you, and love you for who you are. Always!
Mom

laid you in my From the moment they loved every arms i've loved you ur dimples to part of you from years I've your toes. Over and change in watched you grow have imagined ways i never when you were small. But one thing that's never changed is my deep love and admiration for you. I look at you now and I'm filled with pride for the person you've become. You are strong kind and fearless. Thank you for showing the world how to embrace the truth of who you are. May we all learn from your courage and strength.

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John Sipher @johnsipher.bsky.social · 13/05/2025

“In other words, we’re getting a used vehicle that needs a whole lot of work. That’s frankly beneath the national dignity of even our degraded status.” www.lawfaremedia.org/article/the-...

lawfaremedia.org

The Situation: A Used Plane That Needs Work

I have problems with the Qatar plane deal.

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Effin' Birds @effinbirds.com · 05/05/2025

A painting of a bird beside the text "living through a cautionary tale fucking sucks"

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RAYGUN @raygunsite.com · 08/05/2025

Da Pope. Online now, in Chicago soon. #raygun www.raygunsite.com

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The Questionable Authority @questauthority.bsky.social · 02/05/2025

Look, I'm just going to throw this out there: opsec includes knowing your environment and striving not just to be anonymous but also INCONSPICUOUS. If you're showing up to a workday afternoon protest attended primarily by retirees and students in full black bloc cosplay, that's an opsec fail.

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NPR @npr.org · 03/05/2025

A few days ago, President Trump issued an executive order seeking to block all federal funding to NPR, the latest in a series of threats to media organizations across the country.

Public media is under threat. Millions depend on the NPR Network every day. Silencing journalism is one way to silence truth and erode the power of the people. Donate now.

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DilDog 🅅 @dildog.l0pht.com · 03/05/2025

you probably have met at least one person who made ‘vim’ their login shell AND uses a dvorak keyboard layout at the renfaire

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ex-Lethality Jane @lethalityjane.bsky.social · 03/05/2025

*whispers* praxis actually means including people who are less educated than you in your movement

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