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Orangutanger

@orangutanger.bsky.social
211 followers 274 following 391 posts

monkey see, monkey do. new jersey

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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 4h
If you die in the subathon you die in real life 🙂
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Disco Elysium Quotes @discoelysiumbot.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
@normal_now

How Couples Argue Today:

Wife: cool how theres 4 mustards in the fridge in 2018 and none go with my sandwich. Normal World

Husband: wow its almost like those are my dipping mustards and arent meant to go on sandwiches????????? but ok go off
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
same feeling as sleeping in video games to reach the next day
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
damn so a majority of the company was not union eligible?
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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
FUCK I broke my 1500 day streak on my smart thermostat's daily jumble puzzle. The app is locking me out of adjusting my home temperature now because I'm out of gems. The word was SAVORY.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 06/10/2026
the latest NL-ism i've found working its way into my vocabulary is thinking "fuck it bro. Send it" when sending work emails i'm sick of thinking about
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 06/10/2026
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Heat (1995) @heatfilm1995.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Because she got a GREAT ASS!
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tinybaby @tiny.baby · 06/10/2026
Seattle rocks

r/Seattle
5h ago
u/hobblingcontractor
I'm just flaired so I don't get fined
Profile Badge for the Achievement Top 1% Commenter Top 1% Commenter

Did your dog recently judge me?
On 10/2 I was standing at the corner of Westlake and Thomas around 7:30am, waiting for the walk signal. You walked up with a Shiba on a leash.

Your dog looked at me, looked at my shoes, then back at my face and held eye contact for a full eight seconds before turning away with a sigh. You were very apologetic and said "Oh, he does that" but I was so shaken I crossed against the light just to get away.
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
courtroom is not office
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 06/10/2026
Aries: Your enemies are buying a product today, Aries. Buy a product before it's too late Taurus: Pull up a comfy blanket, Taurus, it's time to purchase a product Gemini: Girl, get ready for a new product to enter your life Cancer: Take time today to ask your loved ones if they need a new product
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
derrick turnbow [tossing baseball]: "mlb teams." erick aybar [swinging bat]: "mlb transactions." lyle mouton [pounding mitt]: "mlb rule book." me [pointing at camera]: "do YOU mlb? visit mlb to learn more." [title card: "Major League MLB"] brooks conrad: "hey – who let the youtuber in here???"
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Thank you Patricia Lockwood
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Keith Stack-o'-lantern @keithstack.com · 05/10/2026
I had so many actual nightmares about Gooey Gus from Ghostwriter.
Gooey Gus from Ghostwriter. He’s a purple slime monster guy.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
“Was Tupac a better rapper than Woody Allen was a director” the most racist and antisemitic thread in the history of forums shut down after 35,000 comments
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
me coming in with my bullshit
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Ammnontet! @bleakvision.info · 04/10/2026
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
get back to work
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Black swans swimming leisurely in a duckweed forest
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Revenge of Princesscore @princessrevenge.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
basically all discourse on transition is this one exchange and for some reason we have to keep doing it
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Justin Akimbo
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 03/10/2026
attempting this and dying somehow
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I got a cheap new Fitbit recently, and it gives me a score when I sleep well and exercise. So now I can activate Gamer Mode with my body as the controller
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 02/10/2026
i have been laughing at this for 5 minutes straight
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bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
impressive—you’ve managed to fatally shoot and stab me over a dozen times each, leave my body in a dumpster, and flee to a country with no extradition treaty. but how will you handle my “crane” style
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
my dentist has never forgotten my birthday
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In Otter News @in-otter-news.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
After a long day at the aquarium, the otters help tidy their toys away. Payment is made promptly and entirely in ice cubes.
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Going Chicago mode
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Most riveting thing I've seen all week
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
No Sopranos is a fundamental failure
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
now that's an all day event
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I don't think Breaking Bad is #1 with a bullet like everyone acts
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Good Boy @goodboy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Homer saying this lesbian bar doesn't have a masking policy
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D.W.A.P. (Ben) @andwap.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
When your gamedev friend shows you progress on their new engine.
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
And that’s the economy of respect
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The Tennessee Holler @thetnholler.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
NYC — Actresses Hannah Einbinder & Susan Sarandon arrested protesting Netanyahu
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ceej @ceej.online · 24/09/2026
C'mon, Slime Man! You don't have to go back to the sewers, not after the adventure we've shared! You can live with us! (two days later) Police say no leads in the case where a suburban family was found entirely Slimed,
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 22/09/2026
lots of discussion on here this week about how brains work and what consciousness really is so i'll go ahead and speculate that this is probably fun as fuck for the cow
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
it’s like when a dog has its own dog
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Whoa there, the consultants think calling it “revolutionary” will scare off the swing voters
Libman spin mop system
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hey i’m josh @kingadahipsters.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
my artist transition of what that weird skull wheelbarrow would look like with flesh on it. I made the head look like Conan O’Brien
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026
[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right
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vic-or-squeak!! ᓚᘏᕐᐷ @gizmouse.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
ed sheeran breaks down in tears when he realizes that the plasma grenade on his knee cannot be disarmed
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🎃 Out Of Context International Dubs 🎃 @outofcontxtdubs.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Show: The Simpsons Language: Japanese
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headfallsoff @headfallsoff.com · 21/09/2026
cloud. i’ve made a ham sandwich and left it in the fridge for you. a marker will be added to your map. when eating the ham sandwich, remember to drink some water, and have an apple too - not just salt and vinegar crisps. stay healthy and bring me more combat data
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Orangutanger @orangutanger.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
post pardon depression
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The Haunted One 🎃 @palmtungsten.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
PLAY THE WD-40 GAME
A yellow and blue mini CD-ROM in a rectangular plastic sleeve. The text on the CD reads
 "WD-40
www.wd40.com
• Play the WD-40 Game

• Get the List of 2000 Uses

• Interact and Learn

2001 JENTEC Interactive, Inc. All © Rights Reserved."
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
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Oregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
What a Vegetable, huh?

Wednesday, it's lemon
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