New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026"Whoah! Take it easy bud, I'm just going for coffee"... 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 08/10/2026They don't call 'em wicked stepmothers for nothing. Gtfo with that goody goody princess pussy 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Hell yeah! Bringing back the infographics!! 011
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026He deserves another chance to produce a show, where he can direct school children in an imaginary play, in order to set the record on Alberta straight. 010
Reposted by New Jack Handeylil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 23/06/2026me: i think cell C12 is missing the formula for the rest of that column ai agent: it sure is you clever bitch. have you been taking genius pills 125521
Reposted by New Jack HandeySalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Took me a long time to understand how weird normal is 12306117
Reposted by New Jack HandeyFR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 01/09/2026[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is "redacted" KID: ████████ JUDGE: correct 2310101
Reposted by New Jack HandeyJohnny Normality (Spooky Mode) @probgobl.in · 30/08/2026Teens are hiding in snow banks and devouring wandering travelers. They call it yetimaxxing and parents are up in arms over this dangerous new trend. 1144897
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Hearing 'Return of the Mack' was the first thing my brain did with this image. Troubling. 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026HEY! We like to call it "easing into our bedtime routine". 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 23/08/2026Congrats man! You earned a coveted repost to my six followers for this one. 000
Reposted by New Jack Handeyweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 21/08/2026*thrash metal voice* BEEF TARIFF RELIEF 2024231
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 13/08/2026It depends on your writing style.... Making art that depends on the acceptance of others is a road to misery. My advice would be: either do it for yourself or don't do it at all. 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026My dog would have been dead as a puppy if it weren't for people brave enough to try, like you. Terrible stuff happening brings out people's true character. 010
Reposted by New Jack HandeySalty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Most people are cool and are cool with each other. The news doesn’t tell you that 722575
Reposted by New Jack Handeycap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 05/08/2026an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride 14879238
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Turning every day into a negotiation with an irrational actor makes it all worthwhile! 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Dudes trying to make a LinkedIn profile from books. Ben Lerner is a cool pick though. I didn't know he had a new one. 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026"In theaters this Christmas: YOUNG SCROOGE 2. His change of heart will blow you away!" 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 21/07/2026It's savvy moves like this that load the boat full of bitches... 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Sweet Christ that looks turr-ible. I bet he saw the numbers and the Latin and thought: "eh, maybe they'll learn shit!" 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Looks like Freddy has a big personality for such a small cat. She'll make a great porch greeter. 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 07/07/2026But if you put it on now, you could watch it get bigger and scarier as you progressively get more ripped! 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 25/06/2026This. No entity on Earth flagrantly ignores people's desire to disengage from solicitation like Democratic organizers. How am I supposed to expect you'll represent my wishes in government if you can't respect my wish to unsubscribe from your fucking emails? 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The main choice is where they put the motor, either on the rear axle or inside of the pedal hub. If you just want to have fun, the rear axles rip! 750w if you're more into cycling and just getting a little assistance the hub ones are probably better. 000
Reposted by New Jack HandeyBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 31/05/2026I would never do "ass play." That sounds frivolous and I am an adult. If I'm doing anything it's ass work 451996241
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 27/05/2026As a person who couldn't tolerate more than 15 minutes of Uncut Gems, this is hard to imagine. 020
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 09/05/2026The Night Agent leaned into this SO hard for some reason. Like how many hazy flashbacks in a warm glow do you need of Dr House? 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 02/05/2026Damn, you've really tapped into something here... On SO many occasions I've had the rice want but not the rice time. 000
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 02/05/2026Digital glitch transformations are so hot right now. Super good! 210
Reposted by New Jack Handeywint @dril.bsky.social · 27/04/2026why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy..... 100133633058
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 17/04/2026You got the close up! The gullet shot!! 😆 Love this little tropical sanctuary you got set up. 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 17/04/2026I'm impressed with everyone's restraint, considering the name of this product is "The Battery Daddy". 010
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 11/04/2026That would be a thousand times better. Hoo-ahh! 030
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 20/03/2026Mine waits until the stream starts, then resumes her business. Apparently, I can handle it from there. ☺️ 011
Reposted by New Jack HandeyTrevors (1990) starring Kevin Bacon @slimyswampghost.bsky.social · 17/02/2026every shot-on-video, made-with-a-camcorder horror movie that's just some teenage friend group fucking around in the woods with some fake blood and a monster mask contains more artistic merit, human joy and creative light than anything AI has ever made or will ever, ever make 1338861073
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 16/02/2026It's easy to picture Scotty from Star Trek down in the boiling room during a wife shower: "She's giving all dat she's got, Cappn!" Pressurized gaskets poppin' left and right. ☺️ 010
Reposted by New Jack HandeyShiv Ramdas Mens Rice Activist @nameshiv.bsky.social · 15/02/2026Gotta love Olympic tradition- the passage of the torch, the ceremonial lighting of the flame, the series of articles about condoms running out from journalists seething that super fit people are fucking 22983119
New Jack Handey @newjackhandy.bsky.social · 09/02/2026Where do you land politically @newjackhandy?? Oh, just a little right of a gay boner. 000
Reposted by New Jack HandeyJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 16/01/2026I’ll never forget the last time my grandpa beat my ass because it was also the first time I heard Return of the Mack 011929
Reposted by New Jack Handeyjosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 19/01/2026My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains 263331597
Reposted by New Jack HandeyMike Primavera @primawesome.bsky.social · 19/01/2026I have no patience for pomegranates. I don't have time to solve your fruit puzzle. 421443
