Ian Thompson @mrithompson.bsky.social · 12/10/2026Bloke on the bus with an enormous Elastoplast keeping his over ear headphones together à la Jack Duckworth’s glasses. 010
Reposted by Ian ThompsonDan Sohege @danielsohege.bsky.social · 09/10/2026They must be absolutely knackered. 311374181
Reposted by Ian ThompsonDave Dustin @dustin.nz · 07/10/2026"YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK" 9878992122
Ian Thompson @mrithompson.bsky.social · 26/09/2026That’s a £100 Havana Pep is puffing on but City’s purchase ledger states they paid £8.70 for a five pack of Hamlets. 010
Reposted by Ian ThompsonBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 13/09/2026The Onion has created a machine that will kill everyone on Earth that is coincidentally running out of money and the only way to slow it down is if my staff and I take a six-week vacation to Cabo San Lucas. 230113081299
Reposted by Ian ThompsonGlennyrodge @glennyrodge.bsky.social · 22/08/2026I had a goat's cheese sandwich for lunch yesterday. Well, he should have put his name on it. 417421
Ian Thompson @mrithompson.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Fine misunderstanding in a coffee shop as the customer in front of me is asked if she wanted what sounded like ‘Wippet’ cream with her drink. 000
Reposted by Ian ThompsonJules @jules111985.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Poorly timed notification from the range there 🤦🏻♀️ 603363748
Reposted by Ian ThompsonSharpie @sharpinsky.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Yes HMGov thank you for your nice alert. We know it’s hot so the sensible amongst us are generally staying in the shade, drinking water and avoiding disposable barbecues. Maybe you could do something too. Like not abandoning net zero targets and leaving the oil where it is. 061
Reposted by Ian ThompsonSam Whyte @samwhyte.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Including, but not limited to, Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo ... 1114
Reposted by Ian ThompsonFR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 07/07/2026ME: i can’t drink this it’s expired WIFE: it’s just natural spring water ME: it’s summer now carol 547295
Ian Thompson @mrithompson.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Just watched a squirrel gracefully run down a tree, pause by the side the road, intentionally look left and right then and only attempt to cross when it saw a car coming. 000
Reposted by Ian ThompsonDr Neil & Mr Price @drneil.bsky.social · 30/07/2026It’s really starting to grind me down 4102573050
Reposted by Ian ThompsonThe Film Canary @thefilmcanary.bsky.social · 27/07/2026"You there, boy! Are you hangin' up a stockin' on your wall?" 288
Reposted by Ian ThompsonSanjeev Kohli @govindajeggy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Motörhead recorded 52 different versions of The Ace of Spades, each with a slightly amended lyric. 45310
Reposted by Ian ThompsonLost in History, OBC 🏴🇪🇺🇺🇦🇨🇦🇩🇰🇬🇱🇵🇦 @devonianmatthew.bsky.social · 22/07/2026Can't believe Nolan cut the robot out of The Odyssey. Talk about historical accuracy...static.klipy.comAnimated Space Adventure CharactersALT: Animated Space Adventure Characters 4289
Reposted by Ian ThompsonAlasdair Beckett-King @misterabk.bsky.social · 19/07/2026"The newly appointed Minister for AI is expected to meet with the Minister for NFTs, Lord Blockchain and the Secretary of State for Pogs this afternoon." 371391311
Reposted by Ian ThompsonAvery Edison @averyedison.com · 13/07/2026the discovery of immortality pills made my family millions, so unfortunately I stand to inherit nothing 438456
Reposted by Ian Thompsonhoney i am a guy & i shrunk the kids @snowrespecter.bsky.social · 20/02/2025sue townsend had no right publishing that poor kid's diaries it's so effed up 14514
Reposted by Ian ThompsonStephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 11/07/2026From 2019, when the news was telling us that staring seagulls out had been proven to stop them eating your chips 20879248
Reposted by Ian ThompsonDavid Squires @davidsquires.bsky.social · 08/07/2026VAR has fried my brain, because I think there might be contact here… 4849
Reposted by Ian ThompsonJohn Rain🥇 @johnrain.co.uk · 23/06/2026"My Dad died in the North Sea while clinging on to a picture of his favourite Bond girl" "Diana Rigg?" "No. He fell off a boat" 2333139
Reposted by Ian ThompsonMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 19/06/2026As we approached the airport the pilot started banking. A ridiculous time for a career change, I felt. 2157057
Reposted by Ian ThompsonMichael Stanton @thejupiterroom.bsky.social · 14/06/2026For me, one of the best sketches in the last twenty years. Never fails www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVmc...youtube.comMEETING DADYouTube video by Bilal Zafar 0104
Reposted by Ian ThompsonRachel Cohen @cohen489.bsky.social · 13/06/2026I just—like, sure, being a trillionaire is cool I guess but what’s it all for if you haven’t even seen the wreckage of the titanic firsthand 123100542159
Reposted by Ian ThompsonMarty Suncreme @martinobeat.bsky.social · 09/06/2026These should only be used for bringing outside food and drink into the theaters 429884
Reposted by Ian ThompsonViz Comic @vizcomic.bsky.social · 03/06/2026subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz355bs 316432
Reposted by Ian ThompsonAlex Elizabeth Byrne McMillan @undeniablyalex.bsky.social · 23/05/2026YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK 6135470716424
Reposted by Ian ThompsonSen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 18/05/2026Musk v Altman JUDGE: The jury has sent a question and the answer is no, the death penalty is not "available for both sides" please return to the jury room and limit your consideration to civil damages. 1860391102
Reposted by Ian ThompsonNeil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 06/05/2026Guess he’ll have to do all his banking transactions via PaPal. 1218248
![[Scene is a BEACH. A man is sat eating chips on a blanket - or rather he is trying to, but a terrifying, haunted-eyed SEAGULL is stood next to him, staring intently]
SEAGULL:
Well well well.
You must be one of these ‘Starers’.
[Show man trying to stare the seagull out]
SEAGULL:
Read an article in the Guardian did ya? ‘Stare seagulls out to save your chips’...
Come on then.
Look into my eyes.
[We see his cold, terrifying, haunted eyes in close up]
Can you see the darkness?
The things I’ve seen?
[Hypnotic waves are coming out of his eyes now]
The things I’ve... eaten...?
Frozen shit from a sewage pipe off the coast of Sussex…
The still-pulsing intestines from a badger by the A602…
Thaaat’s it
Look into the truth
The truth you’ve always known.
I am a seagull.
I am harder than you.
And I am having your chips.
11 [The man’s facade breaks, His eyes water, his lips wobble]
SEAGULL [Eating chips]:
Nom nom nom.
[ENDS]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidxpsx6ubfyjz2yhp2xtq4ov2akmt4mk4fo5tgf6ckicarqwad44e)
