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motivationalbeaker.bsky.social

@motivationalbeaker.bsky.social
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
@normal_now

How Couples Argue Today:

Wife: cool how theres 4 mustards in the fridge in 2018 and none go with my sandwich. Normal World

Husband: wow its almost like those are my dipping mustards and arent meant to go on sandwiches????????? but ok go off
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 15h
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/10/08/4 “That does it! … I’m going to go up there and give those people hell!”
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Christian D'Andrea @trainisland.bsky.social · 12h
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 15h
@Daggerlad2

Friend: Wanna go out grab a beer?

Me: just gave birth to a clutch of eggs , feeling suuuper protective tonight :/

Friend: No problem man, I could come to your place

Me: yeah sorry man i would honestly prefer if no one came near me or my eggs rn, feelimg pretty territorial :/
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 13h
four years ago I posted this image of paleontologist Jan Smit looking at rocks and his son-in-law replied with something even better
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Brian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
YOU, MBA: pumpkin spice burrito ME, ENTREPRENEUR: adobo chicken latte
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Alex Elizabeth Byrne McMillan @undeniablyalex.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK
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Dave Dustin @dustin.nz · 07/10/2026
"YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK"
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Luke Knox @lukeknox.me · 08/10/2026
is this anything
Yankees fans reaching but it’s for a Paul Blart: Mall Cop DVD
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Matt Ufford @mattufford.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
me hearing blink-182 in 2001: pop punk is an abomination. I hate these clowns

me listening to blink-182 in 2024: (sniffling) you princes, you poet-kings; you made art too beautiful for an ugly time
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An Empty Paper Bag @joeygeko.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Ben Sisko explaining to some lady why he lives on bajor
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Casey Drottar @caseydrottar.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Just Tom DeLonge soaking it in as all of Petco Park loudly sings along to one of his songs
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/10/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/10/06/1
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 07/10/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/10/06/2 Tomorrow, they would be mortal enemies. But on the eve of the great hunt, feelings were put aside for the traditional Mammoth Dance.
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Daniel Carlson @danielwcarlson.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Jeremy Herbert
Follow
@DDayFilms
[George Lucas, driving away from Taco Bell]
Beenba Rito
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gwen 🌶️👹 @gwenpepperoni.myatproto.social · 05/10/2026
Klingons have discovered Clavicular and are hitting their ridges with hammers to make them more shelf like
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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
men who sacrifice liberty for bibberty deserve neither
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: on the set of the Jerry Springer show, a man sits in a chair. Jerry signals off-stage and says, “we have with us: your ancestor who crawled out of the ocean 375 million years ago!” Panel 2: the live studio audience is booing. Panel 3: security attempts to break up a fight between the man on stage, and his ancestor, a tiktaalik.
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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
do you think slow pokes are slow at other things too
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AlternativeTo @alternativeto.net · 05/10/2026
Misspelled variable panic
Four panels depict a frustrated character at a computer, stressing over work, followed by realization about a misspelled variable.
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Adam Weinstein @adamweinstein.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Timon talks to Pumbaa
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Kris Wilson @kriswilson.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
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treb @treblaw.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
[disgusting political ad bullshit voice] Nick Sirianni is for blown leads. Not us.
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Brian Grubb @briancgrubb.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
REPORTER: coach, earlier today you said you had a plan in place for dinner tonight NICK SIRIANNI: that’s correct REPORTER: can you walk us through how you ended up with 15 baked potatoes on the table, just loose, with no plates or silverware NICK SIRIANNI: just gotta execute better
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Edward Swaine @edswaine.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
really torn on Padres-Brewers but it must be hell for the Trappists
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 04/10/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/10/03/0 Custer’s first stand
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a high school basketball game. The home team is down 9 points, and some players are looking discouraged on the bench. The coach points to a player just out of frame and says, “flippers, you’re in!” Panel 2: the away team attempts a deep 2-point shot, possibly to beat the buzzer, which is blocked by Flippers, a whale who doesn’t even have his arms up. Panel 3: the game ends and the home team excitedly crowd around Flippers, who won them the game. A player from the away team looks stunned, with his hands on his head.
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
@dhookstead

Did we cancel D-Day because of a little rough weather? No. Play the damn game.

Readers added context

D-Day was delayed by a day because of the weather
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Sr. Producer/Editor – “Preditor” (Social Media/Short Form)
National Geographic

Washington, DC

$139,200 - $186,600 a yearTobias from Arrested Development
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The Onion @theonion.com · 02/10/2026
Cashier Forced To Incorporate Humiliating New Phrase Into Every Customer Interaction theonion.com/cashier-forced-to-inco…
Cashier Forced To Incorporate Humiliating New Phrase Into Every Customer Interaction
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Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Ballpoint pen, watercolor, colored pencil, a little crayon, and charcoal pencil. 

Our guy pulls up deep in the forest on his 2-speed bike. He’s flanked by tall dark trees and his path is blocked by a massive spider. He lets the Big Fella know it’s on. “Big Fella,” he says. “I fixed my 2-speed. You still wanna race.” Reader, you know Big Fella wants in on that action. Next slide.Against a starry night sky we see silhouettes of Big Fella and our man racing down a hill. It’s unclear in the drawing who will win but Big Fella is likely about to pull away.
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 01/10/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/09/30/1 Paramecium humor
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Reading about Socrates, apparently he was horrific to look at and was still having kids in his 60s. Unbelievable game. Imagine you're at the bar and a man who looks like a beluga whale hits you with "The only thing I know is I know nothing" and you're just powerless to resist
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ah yes the circle of life
• Dispatched
Sep 25 23:03 pm
In Transit
Sep 26 09:52 am
Delayed
Sep 26 10:57 am
Held By Carrier
Sep 26 15:07 pm
Destroyed
Sep 26 15:08 pm
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comfort foods @primpker.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
"Thou shall not covet the 1700 year old Egyptian socks" My sinful ass:
orange egyptian tabi socks from 300-500ce
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Tweet from phil (@PhilJamesson):

Officer: do you know why I pulled you over
Me: no sir
My Parrot: hell yea I love driving 86 mph without a seatbelt! my name is phil jamesson
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 30/09/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/09/29/1 “So please welcome our keynote speaker, Professor Melvin Fenwick—the man who, back in 1952, first coined the now common phrase: ‘Fools! I’ll destroy them all!’”
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Tweet from Steven (with a ph) (@SJKSalisbury):

[Googling instructions for disarming a bomb] 
For me, disarming bombs is indelibly linked to afternoons spent in my grandmother's kitchen, watching her carefully iron the parchment paper that the nitroglycerin came bound in (to be reused at Christm
[Hurried scrolling]
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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
You joined "grand vizier chat (secret)" You: dark rumors from aboard You: abroad* fuck Sssnakecharmer: mf said aboard WhispersintheChapel: ahoy matey lol PonderMyOrb changed the group name to "rumors from aboard"
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23/09/2026
Vacationing Man Excited To Try Fast Food Franchise Not Found In Hometown theonion.com/vacationing-man-excite…
Vacationing Man Excited To Try Fast Food Franchise Not Found In Hometown
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Matt Brown @mattbrown.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
"are the cleveland guardians actually good?" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Tweet from Ray (@SirEviscerate):

You sneak into my office and see a ship in a bottle. Looking closer, you see tiny crewmembers screaming for help. I'm suddenly behind you.
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BayBayFriend @baybayfriend.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Ads in 1926: Gum! Tastes nice, and it’s fun too! Ads in 2026: A series of 7 short films about life’s important kisses, featuring new Trident Unforgettables
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Jay Willis @jaywillis.net · 20/09/2026
Insane to me that the *entire reason* Trump is obsessed the arch is because some guy at the Claremont Institute blog wrote a post that was like “an arch would be SO cool and Mister Trump, if you’re reading, you should build it right by this bridge, here’s a diagram” americanmind.org/salvo/washin...
Washington Needs an
Arch
Catesby Leigh
A proposal worthy of the nation's 250th birthday.
T
he triumphal arch holds a very important place in the annals of
Western architecture and urbanism. In Roman times it played a lofty honorific role, even though most Roman arches commemorated civic achievements and personages rather than military victories. The freestandingWhere to put the arch? The most important monumental axis in the United States extends westward from the Capitol to the National Mall, Washington Monument, and Lincoln Memorial before deflecting to the southwest across Arlington Memorial Bridge and down Memorial Avenue to Arlington National Cemetery's granite Hemicycle. Roadways leading into the cemetery branch off to right and left in front of the Hemicycle.
There is a conspicuous dead space that marks a transition in this grand axis. Between the bridge and Memorial Avenue lies a patch of turf about a hundred yards in diameter, enclosed by a traffic circle. This turfed expanse is surrounded by four eagle-crowned pylons 43 feet tall, two at the southwestern end of the bridge and the other two at the entrance to Memorial Avenue.
As has long been recognized, this circular
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The Far Side Bot @farside-bot.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy · 20/09/2026
#thefarside #farside #comic www.thefarside.com/2026/09/18/4 “Blow, Howie, blow! … Yeah, yeah, yeah! You’re cookin’ now, Howie! … All right! … Charlie Parker, move over! … Yeah!”
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The Onion @theonion.com · 19/09/2026
Dad Shushes Family While Focused On Jumbotron Hat Shuffle theonion.com/dad-shushes-family-whi…
Dad Shushes Family While Focused On Jumbotron Hat Shuffle
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THE FAR SIDE DAILY @bot.cowtools.org · 18/09/2026
Fire is invented.
Fire is invented.
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: an exhausted detective leans over his desk with a spread of paperwork and folders. He says, “I’m in too deep. Where is the Spaghetti Man?” Panel 2: on a photograph littered among the evidence, a single small drop of marinara sauce drops with a “plip!” Panel 3: viewed from below, the detective examines the drop of sauce with his finger. Behind him, in a ceiling corner, a rotund chef with a mustache - presumably the Spaghetti Man - holds himself like a spider against the walls.
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