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Eli Balin

@elibalin.bsky.social
96 followers 174 following 1.3K posts

I'm bad at social media!

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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 18h
This is basically the second half of Neuromancer.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
youtube.com
The Simpsons Anti-Tiger Rock
YouTube video by megamasterdrive
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
🎵Nobody loves them, everybody hates them...🎵
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Bart⚓️ @bartgonnissen.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The Facial Expressions of Tethys by artist Julius von Bismarck. A suspended high-sea buoy that moves in real time. Sensors on a twin buoy out in the Atlantic Ocean send live satellite data to motors inside the museum. This makes the indoor buoy copy the exact, real-time movements of the ocean waves.
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
9/21/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff drives his ham car past the meat store. He has put new monster truck wheels on the ham car. Two butchers stand outside, one says to the other "My new, bafflingly complex backpack ate my homework."New Yorker Panel:
A child stands at the teacher's desk. A backpack covered in small pockets sits on the ground next to them. The child looks up at the teacher and says "monster ham."
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Chapps @chapps.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
The original Mr. Peanut! 🥜 At first glance, this Moche ceramic stirrup-spout bottle looks like a figure wearing a hooded cloak. Amazing details and color. THEN you look at the back … he’s a peanut! Peanuts are native to South America and have been used in their cuisine for millennia. 🏺 1/ 📸 me
This bottle depicts a figure wrapped within a peanut shell reclining on its side. The vessel has a stirrup-spout handle, a common spout form used in the second half of the Moche period (ca. 500 – 850 CE). The body of the vessel, possibly produced using a mold, was decorated with pigmented slip applied before firing. The figure’s torso is exposed, revealing a sleeved tunic featuring a repeated motif and additional sleeve detailing. Only the person’s legs, hands, and face remain uncovered. The hand gesture of the thumb touching the index finger became more common in Moche pottery after 600 CE (Donnan and McClelland 1979, 63). A headstrap, worn just above the eyebrows, adorns the forehead, peeking out from beneath the tip of the peanut shell (for another example of this type of headstrap see MMA 67.167.21). The small bulge on the figure’s left cheek suggests the individual is chewing coca.

Met MuseumRear view of this stirrup-spout vessel (so named because the spout resembles a stirrup, with the rounded portion intersected with an upright spout) revealing that this is a peanut. Whether it’s supposed to be an anthropomorphic peanut or a man wearing a peanut shaped cloak is unknown. 

500-800 CE, Peru. Met Museum.
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Bruno Dias @brunodias.dev · 18/09/2026
A version of the "Aella's birthday gangbang" Sankey diagram but it's about Bluesky posters thinking about posting Sankey diagram jokes, leading from "thought about Sankey diagram joke" through various iterations of workshopping and writing the joke (with various dead ends due to forgetting about it, losing interest, etc). Eventually at the end the joke is finally posted; some posters do numbers with it, some don't, some came in a fluffer
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Elizabeth Zelle @kohizeri.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
"the assessment did not consider the crocodiles" is my new metaphor for people choosing to just ignore the data point that doesn't agree with them
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
wizard boy transatlantic neurohazard
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maggie schreiter @squishythings.com · 13/09/2026
warholio
a screenshot of beavis & butt-head, where beavis is being cornholio, but has been given fluffy white hair and glasses and is holding a brillo box.
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Mondo Mascots @mondomascots.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
The Greek god Zeus is now working as the mascot for Macy pachinko parlors in Japan.
A golden figure with a beard and a toga stands in a carpeted hallway.
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
9/9/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff brushes his ham car in the yard making it shine. Grandpa Nutmeg stands on the porch and tells his neighbor "Soon you will have homework."New Yorker Panel:
A child sits across from a fortune teller. The fortune teller looks into her crystal ball and says "He's glazing the ham car."
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Spending my precious evening time getting peeved at co-workers in spreadsheet comments because they a) didn't bother with column headers and b) used data that aren't useful for the current task, which I would've known in advance had there been headers identifying it.
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Tyler, from the Internet @tylerfromtheinternet.com · 29/08/2026
what a time to be alive (derogatory)
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
There is a thing which I am supposed to have working tomorrow (which I did not know until Monday), and the thing underlying it is glitching in a way which makes no sense.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Doctor Doom strides out of some gray mist. In the foreground, title text in the MCU Avengers typeface reads "GLUPSHITTOS: Hey Nerds, Time to Update Some Wikipedia Pages!"
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Chris Schweizer @ NCAF & NYCC @schweizercomics.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
Just a reminder that there's a Will Shakespeare miniseries from the heyday of BBC historicals starring Tim Curry as Shakespeare and Ian McShane as Marlowe, and it's on youtube: www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpxC...
production stills of Curry and McShane in costume
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Eli Balin [13.5 Stone]
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Wobbly "Cheap Date" Python @wobblypython.northsky.social · 27/10/2025
I entirely forgot that I made this anti-ASMR video (Sound warning headphones users)
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Now watching. I'm starting to get the idea that this is not the most accurate of biopics.
Poster for Ken Russell's LIZSTOMANIA, starring Robert Daltrey as Franz Lizst.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Ǵ̸̢̛͂̕L̴͕̞̐̀̏͋Ȯ̵̝͙̏̽R̶̠̉Y̵̢̳͛̀̔̕ͅ ̸̭̿́T̴͙͎̫̘͂̕O̴̭̍͊ͅ ̵͙̟̇͘͝͝T̶̗͕̳̒̏̅H̷͕̳̕Ḛ̷͔̀͒̒͠ ̷̢̃H̵͚͚͕͗͠Ì̶͚͇̤͈̀̂̋V̸̢̙̹͑̈́͛Ḛ̷̠͖͌̅̈
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
Half-seriously considering having this done.
A tattoo on the back of a tall ship bosun's hand, with the text "IT'S ON THE LIST"
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
There were several Terran missions in single-player Starcraft where I spent more time gathering resources and building than actual fighting (modulo fixed defenses holding off zergling rushes). Being able to move buildings was such a boon to capturing new resource sites.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
One of Zork's signature weapons had better be a brass lantern.
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Faine Greenwood @faineg.com · 21/08/2026
yeah boss, I made the spreadsheet people real fucking sexy, just like you asked
Sexy spreadsheet woman in an old PeachTest 50,000 ad
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Neil @nudgecloud.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
The people using the em dash as a sign of AI use are fools. It's at the level of throwing someone into a river and if they float they must be a witch.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Too much Alf hog.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Less unusual than it sounds if you know that one of the largest deepwater ports in the western US is in Idaho.
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The Public Domain Review @publicdomainrev.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Napoleon was born #onthisday in 1769. After the collapse of his empire in 1815, “le petit caporal” was imprisoned on St Helena, and while there started learning English. One resident of the island called his English “the oddest in the world” — publicdomainreview.org/collection/n... #otd
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Mondo Mascots @mondomascots.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Harbour-kun, a friendly ship, is the mascot for Yokohama Harbour chestnut sponge cakes, which are shaped like ships.
A white, red, and blue ship with a face poses in an airport arrivals lobby.
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
8/10/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff drives his ham car by the meat store. The butcher stands outside and remarks to a woman "We were hoping it would teach him about military quagmires. Instead, he wants to send dragons to Hormuz."New Yorker Panel:
President Trump watches House of The Dragon. Two staffers watch from the other side of the room. One staffer says "That's a luxury ham."
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
THE STORM IS SAFE THE STORM IS GOOD BASK IN THE PEACE AND GLORY OF THE MANY
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Andrew Reeves @andrewsshi.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I find it fascinating that in the 1990s, the US managed to re-create early twentieth-century Vienna café culture only to have it gradually decay over the first quarter of the twenty-first century such that now most coffee shops are closed by six PM.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Cinematic auteur Tommy Wiseau
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
8/5/26
Heathcliff Panel:
A man buys a hot dog from a cart in the park. Heathcliff looms behind him in a hot dog costume. The vendor says "It feels bleak now, but one day this will make a great true-crime documentary."New Yorker Panel:
Two people watch tv as a graphic saying 'More breaking news from Washington, D.C.' appears on screen. One person says "Don't make any sudden movements."
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Luke Knox @lukeknox.me · 31/07/2026
this is my new favorite diagram
Brachiosaurus projectile vomiting: forces generated and resulting traces
Assuming 50 kg (110 Ibs) of regurgitant, impact velocity from 14 m (45 ft) height, and hard-packed sand as impact site.
h = 14 m (45 ft)
Impact velocity = V = V 2gh = 16.6 m/s; kinetic energy before impact = 6,860 J
Average impact force = 68,600 N
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Dinosaur Comics! @qwantz.com · 27/07/2026
tell enough stories about a someone and you will inevitably hit the Turned Into A Horse episode qwantz.com/index.php?co...
T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, who had recently been turned into a horse but was otherwise able to perform his duties as detective, whinnied.

T-Rex: There was a new mystery that required his attention!!T-Rex: The mystery was on the third floor of a building, but only once Sherlock got up there did he realize that he couldn't get back down. The incline of the stairs was too steep for Horse Sherlock, and he couldn't see where his feet were going. It was really really scary.
T-Rex: "As a horse I find a ton of things really really scary," he muttered, annoyed and scared.
Utahraptor: I thought being a horse wasn't interfering with his detective work!
T-Rex: It wasn't!

T-Rex: For the CASE, he'd already deduced who did it. That part was easy peasy and not scary at all. But then a leaf hit the window and made the slightest noise and Sherlock, again terrified, trampled three men to death in the enclosed space.T-Rex: Luckily he turned back into a dinosaur later - SINCE WE'RE ALL DINOSAURS - and the cops were on the lookout for a horse, so in many ways it was the perfect crime.
Off panel: How'd he turn back?
T-Rex: With much relief!
T-Rex: OBVIOUSLY??
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
Angry Scottish Television Chef Gordon Ramsey, shouting.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
OH FUCK OFF
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
7/23/26
Heathcliff Panel:
The Garbage Ape and four Garbage Apelings hop down the street while Heathcliff and other cats cheer. Two owls watch from a tree. One owl says "What if we call it Operation This Time Will Be Different?"New Yorker Panel:
Two generals talk in front of a large map. One of them says "Garbage Apelings are in season."
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
7/22/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and Jimmy stand outside an ice cream parlor with ice cream cones. The employee inside says to another customer “I grant her three gifts—the whimsy of Moo Deng the hippo, the sweetness of Punch the monkey, and the resilience of Jimothy the raccoon.”New Yorker Panel:
A new mom holds her baby. Three fairy godmothers descent in a beam of light. One of the fairy godmothers says "Those aren't sprinkles. We call them 'Jimmies'."
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Leonard Pierce @leonardpierce.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Look You may have put a lot of snail mucus on your face. You may have put some REALLY GOOD snail mucus on your face. But if you haven't tried the global number one snail mucin, have you *really* put snail mucus on your face?
A brand purporting to be the producer of the "global no. 1 snail mucin"
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
In 2002, the US Congress passed a law authorizing an invasion of The Hague if any American servicemembers or politicians went to the Shrek Rave.
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
7/17/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and The Summer Mummy surf with bro fish bowls on their heads. The bro fish are broing. Two surfers watch from the beach. One of them says "Darling wife, wait for me. I know not when I will return; the movie is pretty long."New Yorker Panel:
A couple embraces in a home. The husband says "Dude."
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Dan of the Year @downwithdan.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Dang they really got a category for everything
THR
The Hollywood Reporter *
@THR
Louis C.K. Wins Grammy for First Special Since Sexual Misconduct Allegations
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Dr. Jeroen W.P. Wijnendaele @drdragases.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I am once again begging Hollywood to stop using the Greek alphabet for an Ancient World movie, if they can't afford to even throw a couple of quid at anyone with an inkling of the language. Unless they really think audiences are dying to see THS THDPSSSSPS
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The Heathyorker @theheathyorker.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
7/14/26
Heathcliff Panel:
Heathcliff and a group of cats walk down the sidewalk with fishbowls containing bro fish on their heads. The bro fish are broing. Two birds watch from a tree, one bird says "No, seriously, you look great—no one is even going to notice."New Yorker Panel:
Two SpongeBob ice cream bars stand on their sticks, the one on the left is melting. The one on the right says "A group of brofish is called a 'shoal.'"
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Alex Zalben @azalben.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Funniest part of the screening was when Odysseus was eating flowers, Calypso said “stop eating those lotuses” and the guy next to me said “OHHHH” like it was an Easter egg in a Marvel movie.
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Eli Balin @elibalin.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
TimeGuessr #1139 — 49,351/50,000 1️⃣ 🏆9,877 · 📅 0y · 🌍 3.6mi 2️⃣ 🏆9,940 · 📅 1y · 🌍 510m 3️⃣ 🏆9,934 · 📅 1y · 🌍 777m 4️⃣ 🏆9,800 · 📅 2y · 🌍 33m 5️⃣ 🏆9,800 · 📅 2y · 🌍 9m timeguessr.com
timeguessr.com
TimeGuessr
TimeGuessr - the game that tests both your geography and history knowledge. Guess where and when historic photos were taken.
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