iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 17h

In hindsight it was too cold for fingerless gloves while biking the kids to school this morning. On a related note, ow.

classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I grew up in Actual Boston so I am still learning the nuances of inter-suburban hostilities, but a guy just hollered at me not to bike in the middle of the lane because "this ain't Melrose" and I need a LOT more information.

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Went to the grocery store before breakfast to get cream cheese for my bagel but it's two days before my period

static.klipy.com

Classic Blunders Quote

Alt: Princess Bride you fell victim to one of the classic blunders

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Josephine beckbook.com Riesman @josie.zone · 13/11/2023

{billy corgan voice} 🎶A girl is a vampire

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Erin Roseberry 🔜 SPX B5 @roseberrycomix.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

There’s been multiple versions of the Rosh Hashanah griffin, this is the first artwork from 2019, which was also sold at SPX 2022, and has a long history of online popularity. Griffins were an important symbol to medieval Ashkenazim and I’m singlehandedly bringing them back. Chag sameach!

A digital drawing of a griffin surrounded by large apples, pomegranates and honey with Hebrew calligraphy wishing “a good and sweet new year”

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

10: do you know what time 8:22 is? 6: bedtime? 10: no, ANNOY YOUR SISTER TIME!

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I like to tell my kids there are no stupid questions but today my 10-year-old watched a carnival ride start moving and then asked me "what does THAT do?" while still staring directly at the ride.

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

6-year-old: we went to see a movie about six fancy girls who all married the same man My parents: oh, what was his name? 6: I think it was...Steve?

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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

NO SUBTEXT ONLY TEXT - dashare.zone ADMIN

A SKELATEN WHO DOSENT NOTICE THE END OF DA WORLD BECAUSE EVERY ONE IS TRYING TO HINT ABOUT IT "MIGHT BE BAD SOON" "MIGHT WANT TO TURN AROUND" WELL IF I SHOULD TURN AROUND THEN SAY IT , DONT TELL ME I WANT TO, BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO, SO YOU SHOULD SAY "I WANT YOU TO TURN AROUND" THAT MAKES MORE SENSE , AND I WOULD DO IT IF YOU JUST SAID IT LIKE THAT,,, ,ANY WAY THE TEXT "DO NOT GIVE ME HINTS, I WONT FIGURE THEM OUT, I WONT EVEN KNOW YOU WERE GIVING ME A HINT " - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

I think my fortune cookie just called me nosy???

A half-eaten fortune cookie with a fortune reading "Restrain yourself from intruding into other's businesses."

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I did not know this was an option and now I DESPERATELY need to know which donut places I am missing out on

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Danna Staaf @dannastaaf.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Child: Look, it's a red Mazda 3 like ours! But it has a roof rack. Me: That's sexual dimorphism. Child: Mom. Me: The rack is for carrying their young; I just don't remember which sex has it. Child: MOM STOP

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Sent my kid to sleepaway camp with 13 pairs of socks and he came home with 2 pairs of socks and 3 individual mismatched socks.

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👻madeline bOoOoOoOodent👻 @oldenoughtosay.com · 31/07/2026

Happy Friday everyone, as promised, here is my personal theory on this. I think Redwall takes place in our world, after an apocalyptic event of the nuclear variety caused rapid but varied growth of all animals, including humans, leading to our extinction and their mental development. Okay? 🧵

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Jared Pechaček @vandroidhelsing.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Medusa but her hair is an anaconda

Medusa with a single anaconda for hair. She wears a grey chiton and stubbornly strides to the left, dragging the heavy snake, which trails sullenly along behind

Medusa with a single anaconda for hair. It is completely coiled around her, leaving only her angry yellow eyes visible, and a single hand lifted to flip off the world

Medusa with a single anaconda for hair. She wears a grey towel and is scrubbing the snake. A bar of soap sits in a small puddle off to the left

Medusa with a single anaconda for hair. She sits, drumming her fingers impatiently, while in the background the anaconda digests some large prey

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Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I’m wheezing smittenkitchen.com/2026/07/spag...

Spaghetti Aglio e Olio
SERVINGS: THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER
TIME: 20 MINUTES
SOURCE: SMITTEN KITCHEN

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Eschire Cat-tle, MSc @escherbug.art · 28/07/2026

She loved her surgery cone for the first couple days (it made her feel powerful and intimidating) so we got her a courted ruff to look sinister in.

Lt the black cat wearing a champagne colored ribbon ruff and a suspicious expression.

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Alan Baxter @alanbaxter.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

You can kill a French vampire with a baguette. It's a painstaking process but it works.

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milk bottle champion @stepheniscowboy.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

King Arthur when his court wizard snubs Guinevere

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

"Can you please stop putting croissants in your hair." Dinnertime is going great here why do you ask

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Caroline Hack @carolinehack.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Absolutely loving this new merch design from New Bedford Whaling Museum store.whalingmuseum.org/en-gb/produc...

Black tee shirt with trip advisor type star review one star “Worst aquarium ever” and New Bedford Whaling museum in white text

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Birds Are Dinosaurs @birdsaredinosaurs.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

The Odyssey (2026, dir. Chris Nolan)

A scene from Clue, third alternate ending. A young Michael McKean is standing by a door, looking pleased with himself. Caption: "I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife."

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Odd Future Wolfgang Pauli @ofwp.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Massachusetts is about as pure of a distillation of America as you can get. It's where the country started, it's filled with precious national history, it's a paragon of education and civic engagement, it's filled with the loudest and most irritating people alive.

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

I fully support the updated recycling deposit but I am exclusively hydrated by Polar seltzer so they had better cave on this ASAP

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Ripley's Believe it or Else 🎃 @ripleylacross.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

Did you know from one cheap bag of ground coffee you can make up to four liters of delicious, extra-strength cold brew? YOU CAN! #comic #art

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ex-Lethality Jane @lethalityjane.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Look, it's very simple: you can't build housing in the city, because that's gentrification. You also can't build housing in the country because that's destroying the habitat of the native swamp gopher. Above all you must not build housing in the suburbs because we don't like suburbs.

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eerie dickgirl @eigenvectrix.northsky.social · 28/06/2026

The best summary of the "oven of Akhnai" story I've ever seen

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Lane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 21/05/2026

how am i supposed to clean out my closet when i am a bitch and a lover and a child and a mother and a sinner and a saint? all those bitches need outfits

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

For the fourth year in a row, my husband has said "we don't need swimsuits, it's too cold to go in the water" and the kids have run directly into the ocean.

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thank u, hexed @lindsaykingmiller.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

The first time my husband did karaoke after starting T, he injured his throat and it hurt to swallow for days. Turns out trying to use a man's voice like a classically trained soprano is Not Good For You. I'm sharing this for the fellas, but also for anyone out there who writes body-swap fanfic.

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

you can mix megan thee stallion into any song and make it better video by jaysonwithawhyy on TikTok

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Helena Fitzgerald @hellafitzgerald.bsky.social · 07/05/2026

the more I think about it, the more I feel like “Odysseus is from Boston” is true in a sort of ecstatic truth way

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Tim Carvell @timcarvell.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

The good news is, there are a lot of experienced, trained professionals on hand who can quickly gather all the appropriate facts and tell us exactly how this is bad news for the Democrats in the midterms.

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Faine Greenwood @faineg.com · 14/04/2026

Gather, my friends, and you shall learn the esoteric history of fridge magnets, and how they function as tacky little references for human memory:

little-flying-robots.ghost.io

Fridge Magnets and Memory: Part 1

Fridge magnets are more than tacky souvenirs. They're vessels for our memories.

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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/04/2026

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-…

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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

I’m extremely tough, is what I’m saying.

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Esther @clawhammercrone.bsky.social · 04/04/2026

I need to share my favourite seasonal Tumblr post, the saga of Bread Jesus, by user gallusrostromegalus, about the 1969 Easter Mass Incident. 1/16

The 1969 Easter Mass Incident

Content Warnings: Religion, food, symbolic cannibalism, symbolic gore, penis mention, Blasphemy, SO MUCH BLASPHEMY, weapons, war mention. Mind the warnings and your health always comes first. Its a HILARIOUS story, I promise.

As always, all the names have been changed to protect people’s identities. This is a long one, so Press J now if you want to skip it.

When my dad was a young man and still a practicing catholic, he participated in a small church communion that nearly got him and six other people excommunicated.

Father Patrick ran a small church outside of California Polytechnical and tended to be… rather more liberal in his interpretations of scripture than most of the church was, which made him something of a hit with the local students and liberally-inclined populace.

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RedruM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

By A Horse

Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food.

I am thinking I would like to try cake.

Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape.

Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy.

Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much.

I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on."

Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

We lasted a whole hour at our local No Kings protest even though I forgot gloves AND sunglasses. Shout out to the face painting table for turning my kids' faces into tiny protest signs.

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Leah Greenberg ❌👑 @leahgreenberg.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

patiently explaining to national political reporters that the people who organize No Kings are also doing the daily advocacy, voter registration, mutual aid, and immigrant defense, and that just because the cameras show up for the big crowd does not mean that work did not exist before and after

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Michael Mills @michaelmills.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

I salute the pedantry of the child’s new toy.

A tube of glow-in-the-dark plastic planets that lists the contents as “8 glowing planets” and “1 glowing Pluto”

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 15/03/2026

At the self checkout: 9: why don't people just steal stuff? Me: there's cameras, also stealing is usually wrong 9: when is it NOT wrong? Me, grasping every opportunity to turn a parenting moment into a full-on musical number: if your family is starving and you steal a loaf of bread to feed them

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Joshua Reed Eakle 🗽 @joshuaeakle.com · 11/03/2026

This is hilarious. Also, completely enraging.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 09/03/2026

90s Captain Ahab: Thar she blows. Thar she blows again.

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classic masshole @effable.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

Unfortunately all my outrage today is reserved for the new Arctic Monkeys song with the lyrics "ten years later, it's been a decade" and I simply do not have the capacity to be outraged by anything more serious at this time. The REDUNDANCY.

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The Fig Economy @figgityfigs.bsky.social · 04/03/2026

My daughter: in the TLC song “No Scrubs,” what do they mean by “scrub”? Me: Honey this is the one and only pop song in history that opens up with a dictionary and thesaurus entry.

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