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Jemma

@cygnus5.bsky.social
430 followers 138 following 1.6K posts

Masshole in Maine

PostsRepliesMedia
Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Fair.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The Juicy Fruit of toothpaste
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The next time you try lying to your doctor about your alcohol consumption, maybe don’t have wine stains on your sneaker.
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Jane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
[Precisely 55 seconds into a hike] I'm not gonna make it, go on without me.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I’m not crying over Frugal Fannie’s, you are.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
“I’m sorry I upset you” is not an apology dumbass.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
😂
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun, on wings made of wax. I did that exact thing.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
When I’m reading my friends reply and I’m like yeah, spot on, she gets me and then you realize it was your own text you’re reading and she hasn’t even answered yet. But when she does, she will back you up completely and you’ll be like yeah, spot on, she gets me.
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ContempraInn 🌹 @contemprainn.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Hello Everybody
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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Being awake brought to you by chirping fire alarm low battery.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s the nun’s collar, for me
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
A wedding dress but make it a crop top
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Always a party here in the 508
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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
don’t force the grandeur, you must allow the delusions to form organically
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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I myself don’t partake of Halloween in August but I will give your taller than a house Pennywise inflatable a little nod as I drive by.
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
boy, are you a data center bc you are sucking the life out of me
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Have you guys tried doing things with both hands? It’s crazy
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Some of my best friends are just persistent people that wouldn’t take no for answer
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
If only there was a place to go with people inside who could tell you if your thumb was actually broken or just sprained.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Lads Gaga has her Monsters, Noah Kahan has his Insects.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Nothing says Boston quite like standing outside a courthouse en masse wearing pink. 🩷
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
If i ever lost anything, my husband is probably the last person I would go to for help.
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Spare me your outrage (it makes me uncomfortable).
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
You never bring me flowers anymore. Is it because of our acrimonious break up?
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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Hide and seek but it’s two 5 foot tall people back to school shopping together.
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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Your dog doesn't care that you're a little stupid. He's a little stupid too.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
I brake for cemeteries.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
This last ‘where’s my phone’ was a doozy
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Piscataqua
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
I simply do not accept this
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Just the cutest house ever
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Thomas [DARK MODE], DO @tom.medsky.social · 09/08/2026
Going through my parents' stuff and found this weird little gal. She's a transistor radio. Her right eyeball is tuner and her left eyeball is power/volume.
A tan plastic with gold mechanical owl. Very cute.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
Three sheets to the wind? Try four.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Was listening to Aretha while driving downtown with my windows open yesterday and cars were pulling over like I was Justice
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Forever cursed to be awake for the spider swallowing.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I just learned the Marianne mentioned in Boston's "More than A Feeling" is the songwriter's first cousin and now I have more than an icky feeling.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
In the time before prozac dusty men with mustaches like push brooms would use their hand planes to chamfer all the sharp corners in the world
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ichabod chungus @doyhickey.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
While at a bar during a vacation in Ireland I met another American who turned out to be a somewhat distant relative. They had just visited our family's ancestral castle in England, which I didn't know was a thing.
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iStarglow @supbaby.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I was in Iceland and while waiting for the tour bus I got to talking to another group of people after immediately recognizing the Canadian accent…turned out one person and his wife lived 5 houses away from my mom 😂
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
Wow. I love these stories.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I would happily accept a ruined tower. ::swoon::
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💀 dave 🎃 @daverson.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
when i ripped up the pantry to rebuild the cupboards i found a mouse hole someone plugged with a pot metal moxie bottle stopper but we still got mice so i guess the spell wore off
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Nice!
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
I want an ancestral castle
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Love this.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
The very
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
That is amazing. Wow.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Our friends were in Yellowstone and recognized the guy next to them. He owned a poke restaurant back home (Maine) and their son was actually wearing a hat from his restaurant.
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Jemma @cygnus5.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Ain’t that the truth
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