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Derek

@crashandcern.bsky.social
457 followers 342 following 245 posts

Machine learning engineer, former particle physics post-doc, member of Philly DSA. Retweets are endorsements unless I'm being ironic.

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Reposted by Derek
Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Brands
Favors Goldfish brand for crackers

Product Preferences
Consistently replenishes Goldfish crackersWalter White with hands up and text “You got me”
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very tall bart @tallbart.com · 25/09/2026
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anti-zionist dog 🇵🇸 @puppydoggaming.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious
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Guillotine Hunger Force @handle.invalid · 12/07/2026
i stand corrected
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Kelly Knox @kelly-knox.com · 25/06/2026
Last night I had my recurring dream that I was in command of the Death Star guess I was Tarkin in my sleep again
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Tracy O’Connell Novick @tracynovick.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
"She would make sure that all 535 packets of letters and drawings were delivered to every member of Congress. She would keep telling the stories of the children she’d met." Keep going, Ms. Rachel. (gift link) wapo.st/4ecHKP2
wapo.st
Ms. Rachel goes to Washington, carrying letters from children in ICE custody
The children’s media star is urging lawmakers to end family detention and reunite the kids and parents who had been separated by ICE enforcement.
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GPT-Ern Malley @denam.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
We should all be like this frog with dementia
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Micah @rincewind.run · 09/04/2026
*talking to teenage militant atheist self* current me: okay so there’s a big fight between the government and the catholic church teenage me: got it, so we’re obviously on the side of the government current me: I, uh, you might want to sit down for this one
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critical slop studies @struthious.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
become ungovernable d2w9rnfcy7mm78.cloudfront.net/44803208/ori...
a photo of a pigeon nesting on a nest built on top of anti-bird spikes, with the text "a pigeon constructed its nest directly on anti pigeon spikes"
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 24/03/2026
guy who gets mad at ice at the airport because candy crush is for fake gamers
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Tim Allen
@ofctimallen
Carl Marx. Communist manifesto.
Wikipedia.
Translate Tweet
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/02/2026
This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t
theonion.com
This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t
George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more.
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Spooxie 👻😱 @roxieproxy.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not
A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live.

"This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario."

The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?"

NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD."

Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version."

PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 10/02/2026
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
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krat @kwholesaler.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor
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Democracy Now! @democracynow.org · 03/02/2026
Larry Krasner, the Philadelphia District Attorney, has vowed to "find the identities" of ICE officers who break the law.
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Jante's Umarell @jante.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Dialectics
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Chad Loder @chadloder.dev · 10/01/2026
I broke the story yesterday that masked ICE agents (not DOJ) were removing items including a personal computer from the home of Jonathan Ross, the ICE agent who shot Renee Good. I have yet to see a single news outlet cover this or an elected official even acknowledge it.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
The phone is for making posts like "the ass is the father of the legs" whereas the computer is for posts that include words like "inexorably"
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Bruno Dies @brunodias.dev · 04/01/2026
40 people (at least) died. It's the official policy of these newsrooms that Latin American lives aren't worth anything. Again, if you still pay for an NYT subscription I think you're trash.
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lindsey adler @lindseyadler.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
WOW!!!!!!!
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
NEW YORK (AP) — Democrat Zohran Mamdani sworn in as mayor of New York City.
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James Vincent @jjvincent.bsky.social · 27/12/2025
another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 26/12/2025
Nickelodeon, a subdivision of Paramount Skydance Corporation’s Paramount Media Division presents SpongeBob SquarePants the Movie’s bus stop featuring anti homeless benches
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Byronic Commando @wench.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
I’m from Whoville, and I say kill the Grinch!
johnny rico in starship troopers saying “kill em all!”
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Kids Can Press @kidscanpress.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
Kids Can Press company logo and logo and image of Franklin character with statement text,”Franklin the Turtle is a beloved Canadian icon who has inspired generations of children and stands for kindness, empathy, and inclusivity. We strongly condemn any denigrating, violent, or unauthorized use of Franklin’s name or image, which directly contradicts these values.”
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
They call it “wow” because when I use my 20 year old portable record player I say “Wow this sounds awful”
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
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Eduardo Valdés-Hevia 👁️ @valdevia.art · 18/11/2025
Guys I'm TIRED of explaining this. Greebles have TWO boges, ONE quiff and ONE dunth. Don't make me explain it again!
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Haunted Hannah 👻 🍂🎃 @hannahposts.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
When he's right he's right
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
Good things are possible and we don’t have to settle.
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Bryan Mac @bryanmac.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
You might think you’re ready for this needle drop at the Cuomo watch party. I promise you: you are not.
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Tom McKay @catturd2.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
gotta give it to the post's cover game, like obviously it's anti but they also know half of brooklyn is getting this framed
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Victor Ray @victorerikray.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
I'm happy that Mamdani won. But I won't let that get in the way of my celebrating Cuomo losing.
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Zohran Kwame Mamdani @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
Leonard and Leonardo are spelled the same except the “o” but if you pronounce one like the other it sounds very strange.
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Brett Taylor @brett-taylor.bsky.social · 24/10/2025
Scroll down to the Major Events Timeline, and nothing will prepare you for what you'll see. I cannot believe it is real. www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-wh...
whitehouse.gov
The White House Building
Every president since John Adams has occupied the White House, and the history of this building extends far beyond the construction of its walls. From the Ground Floor Corridor rooms, transformed from...
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Zohran Kwame Mamdani @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
UNTIL IT’S DONE, Ep. 4: Sylvia Rivera In the 1970s, queer New Yorkers had been pushed to the margins of NYC. Our trans neighbors faced immense cruelty. But in Sylvia Rivera, they found a champion. As we combat Trump’s politics of darkness, her legacy can light the path forward.
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𝙰𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝚂𝚈𝙲𝙷𝙾𝚂𝙸𝚂 𓁣 @bzvowell.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
This is kinda great, and everyone should share it.
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