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Derek

@crashandcern.bsky.social
457 followers 342 following 245 posts

Machine learning engineer, former particle physics post-doc, member of Philly DSA. Retweets are endorsements unless I'm being ironic.

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Reposted by Derek
Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Brands
Favors Goldfish brand for crackers

Product Preferences
Consistently replenishes Goldfish crackersWalter White with hands up and text “You got me”
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very tall bart @tallbart.com · 25/09/2026
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anti-zionist dog 🇵🇸 @puppydoggaming.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious
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Guillotine Hunger Force @handle.invalid · 12/07/2026
i stand corrected
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Kelly Knox @kelly-knox.com · 25/06/2026
Last night I had my recurring dream that I was in command of the Death Star guess I was Tarkin in my sleep again
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
I haven’t followed too closely (I have two young kids so I’ve focused more on DSA chapter admin than internal politics) but they “joined” in 2020 and made a caucus in 2022. www.socialistalternative.org/2022/03/01/w...
socialistalternative.org
Why Socialist Alternative is Launching a Caucus in DSA
By Erin Brightwell, Member UPTE-CWA 9119, East Bay DSA, Socialist Alternative Executive Committee Socialists face immense challenges and opportunities in 2022. The Republicans and even far right e...
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Socialist Alternative has essentially become a caucus within DSA
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
AOC is 36. She’d be 39 at inauguration 👀
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Tracy O’Connell Novick @tracynovick.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
"She would make sure that all 535 packets of letters and drawings were delivered to every member of Congress. She would keep telling the stories of the children she’d met." Keep going, Ms. Rachel. (gift link) wapo.st/4ecHKP2
wapo.st
Ms. Rachel goes to Washington, carrying letters from children in ICE custody
The children’s media star is urging lawmakers to end family detention and reunite the kids and parents who had been separated by ICE enforcement.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
This isn’t what enshitification is. This is a reaction a Supreme Court decision allowing widespread gambling.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
By having multiple species on the same UFO are they trying to imply the aliens are “woke”?
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GPT-Ern Malley @denam.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Easiest would be impeaching Thomas
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Meanwhile I go back and convince them to get into rental by mail and pivot to streaming as the fiber rollout gets underway.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
She realized she’d rather be a teacher than make a cameo returning in your life
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Paul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
We should all be like this frog with dementia
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Micah @rincewind.run · 09/04/2026
*talking to teenage militant atheist self* current me: okay so there’s a big fight between the government and the catholic church teenage me: got it, so we’re obviously on the side of the government current me: I, uh, you might want to sit down for this one
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Look at the date, it was last year. I said “evergreen” because the message still applies.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Evergreen
Good news. The American empire is falling. Bad news. I'm an American.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
That makes me sad. I wonder what the story behind it is.
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critical slop studies @struthious.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
become ungovernable d2w9rnfcy7mm78.cloudfront.net/44803208/ori...
a photo of a pigeon nesting on a nest built on top of anti-bird spikes, with the text "a pigeon constructed its nest directly on anti pigeon spikes"
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 24/03/2026
guy who gets mad at ice at the airport because candy crush is for fake gamers
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
If not, (or want to print your own) I’d recommend just finding a good list and pasting the illustrations into word or similar. I’d definitely recommend illustrations over photos. No background plus illustrations tend to be better for identification than a specific photo.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
Something like this? amzn.to/4rJhOiV
amzn.to
Earth Sky + Water - Peterson’s Backyard Birds of The Pacific Northwest
This stunning poster includes 81 of the most common backyard birds of the Pacific Northwest. (Region includes: Coastal Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia.) The illustrations are by Roger Tory Peterson, along with James Audubon, are America's most famous bird naturalists and illustrators. 19 X 27 inch overall size, the poster comes in a heavy-walled 2 inches mailing tube with plastic end caps. Printed on 80 pound coated stock using fade resistant inks and the highest production values, it is truly of museum quality and suitable for framing.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
I’d be very worried about a Democrat who would actually change things surviving the Mossad
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Tim Allen
@ofctimallen
Carl Marx. Communist manifesto.
Wikipedia.
Translate Tweet
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/02/2026
This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t
theonion.com
This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t
George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Its time will come. Wait and see.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
Gotta get on the JPEGXL train 🚂
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Spooxie 👻😱 @roxieproxy.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not
A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live.

"This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario."

The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?"

NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD."

Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version."

PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement.

Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Literally blacked out the bottom where they reveal that it was a joke
I kept this up for three years before the CEO (my dad) finally recognized my results and promoted me to SVP.
There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.
To get ahead, create value.
(Let's see how many people read long enough to get to the punchline. Happy Friday!)
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WeRateDogs @weratedogs.com · 10/02/2026
we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad
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krat @kwholesaler.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor
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Democracy Now! @democracynow.org · 03/02/2026
Larry Krasner, the Philadelphia District Attorney, has vowed to "find the identities" of ICE officers who break the law.
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 02/02/2026
When I run for mayor (after moving to NYC someday) my campaign will center on my animal handling experience working at a nature center in my teens.
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Jante's Umarell @jante.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Dialectics
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Chad Loder @chadloder.dev · 10/01/2026
I broke the story yesterday that masked ICE agents (not DOJ) were removing items including a personal computer from the home of Jonathan Ross, the ICE agent who shot Renee Good. I have yet to see a single news outlet cover this or an elected official even acknowledge it.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
The phone is for making posts like "the ass is the father of the legs" whereas the computer is for posts that include words like "inexorably"
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Derek @crashandcern.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
This is a slight against the average among us who don’t look like a swollen thumb
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Bruno Dies @brunodias.dev · 04/01/2026
40 people (at least) died. It's the official policy of these newsrooms that Latin American lives aren't worth anything. Again, if you still pay for an NYT subscription I think you're trash.
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lindsey adler @lindseyadler.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
WOW!!!!!!!
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Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
NEW YORK (AP) — Democrat Zohran Mamdani sworn in as mayor of New York City.
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