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Crab Man

@crabman.bsky.social
4.3K followers 474 following 19K posts

Known for my iconic bits

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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 9h
Entering my iconoclast era.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 9h
Going to do some character-expanding, form-breaking, paradigm-shattering bits later.
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Reposted by Crab Man
penny mason @rosegxldheart.bsky.social · 22h
goodmorning <3
You should stop cyber attacking one of the last heterosexual males on the planet before you f****** regret it
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
It's very well made and intriguing.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
There was a good part of this movie where one of the guys makes a weird noise for no reason.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
God damn it you're right.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
This movie is non-stop dropping warming dictator-style jokes, it's so insane. I don't even have enough time to try and puzzle them out before the next one.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
If you're wondering if I've seen clown 1, I'm not sure. I don't know if there even is a clown 1.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Now watching
Clown 2
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
"potion of"? More like "p(o)"robably sh"(toin)"ld "of" blocked this guy!
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Did I just spoil your dnd character?
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Reposted by Crab Man
SCOM⛅️ @scomputer.fun · 10/10/2026
we have to do something about gender inequality. Mr. Worldwide? we all know who that is. but Miss Universe? that's a title that changes every year!

Rick from my consulting firm: That's really funny, but it feels like maybe a bit out of date?

Miss Universe: Yeah we might want to workshop something more modern.

Me: More modern.

Mr. Worldwide: i love Miami
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
You are thot-shaming
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
That seems very easy to understand to me, idk.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
That's way less of a red flag to me.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Big red flag for me would be if a guy had the nickname Mr. Nasty Thoughts.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Nobody has taken me through a monkey rap in so long.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
🔥
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Throwback to when I originally saw this: bsky.app/profile/crab...
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
God this movie is so fire
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Okay I can't bring myself to do this. Rewatching a super banger, now watching
The Demonic Dead
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
When a musician is struggling? That's a struggling musician.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
"A struggling musician struggles with whether to go legit or stay in the streets, but with constant distractions, he focuses on the bigger picture."
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Now watching
Stay Focused
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Y'all think I should watch this?
Mr Mender and the Chummyjiggers
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Shooting the messenger. They suck at their job and delivered a bad message, what do you want me to do?
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Reposted by Crab Man
rare body oils @rarebodyoils.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Review: Gerald's Cream Heist(1932) **/**** took over 45 minutes to get to the cream heist. Gerald was handsome and genial,but i struggled to look past the actor (also named Gerald)'s history of speaking out in favor of poison
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Literally all I've ever wanted is a gf who responds in a playful, caring way to me.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Babe don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very playful and caring.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
LMAOOOOOOOO
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Thank you saying this. Most people are treating this like a silly situation and I'm trapped in an apartment with a crazy bee.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This is insanely unlucky timing for me.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Lmao
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Reposted by Crab Man
SCOM⛅️ @scomputer.fun · 08/10/2026
that scene from Yu-Gi-Oh! where Kaiba and Yugi are dueling. the first panel is Seto Kaiba holding a card up, but the card is bsky poster and film aficionado @Crabman.bsky.social . the second panel is Yami Yugi drawing another card. the 3th panel Yugi holds the card facing out, the card is Zachary Tinkle! the final panel is Seto Kaiba being obliterated into a stream of flashing light
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I'm not actually sure.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
If I'm gonna get tinkle I'm gonna get him right
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Tinkle acquired
Zachary Tinkle
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
It. Hasn't. Been. Invented. Yet. This isn't so hard to understand.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
IT IS A FLAVORFUL MIST WITH ALL THE ESSENTIAL NUTRIENTS TO SUSTAIN HUMAN LIFE. YOU SPRAY IT IN YOUR MOUTH WITH A LITTLE SPRAYER THAT MAKES A LASER BLAST SOUND EFFECT. IT IS ENGINEERED IN A FUTURISRIC SCIENCE LAB. IT IS NOT PISS.
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
No you racist. I had an idea for a new type of food called Nutritious Mists.
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Reposted by Crab Man
J HELL P @jlp.systems · 08/10/2026
Johnny Marr’s Crab Fact
screenshot of an instagram video showing current day Johnny Marr talking and above him are the words Johnny Marr’s Crab Fact
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Can I make a suggestion?
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
If You Were Here You'd Be Homo By Now (This one hasn't aged well)
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Every Cloud Has Its Incurable Disease
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Reposted by Crab Man
haunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I Gave Her the Bird In My Hand And She Shaved Her Bush
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Snake Oil Suicide
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The Boy Who Flew Too Close To New Jersey
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
For All Of Your Whining, There's Very Little I Care About With You
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Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
McDonald's Isn't Real
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