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Jess

@ennui-haver.bsky.social
1.6K followers 721 following 7.3K posts

yoda account

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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 2m
(somberly) chudler.
040
Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 4m
chud kid telling woke parents "i wish i was a chud"
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 5m
ugh i hate being woke. i wish i was a chud.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11m
imagine if being sober was swag.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 19m
The Law That Killed Every Cop
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 20m
i actually have been hassled by police for having safe injection supplies and i think they should be killed, after a law is passed to kill them
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Reposted by Jess
Amelia @ameliamar.bsky.social · 30m
the world is full. No more people, sorry. If you want to have a baby you have to submit this online application. Which does have a fee btw
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 22m
i love injecting diy estrogen and feeling like william s Burroughs junky
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Reposted by Jess
JLP @11828appelstall.bsky.social · 3h
itd actually more christian to be a satanist because being afraid of the devil implies doubt
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Reposted by Jess
JLP @11828appelstall.bsky.social · 3h
satan is actually pretty cool u guys and not that scary
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
i honestly think you can look at history since the conception of communism and industrialization as being us dealing with the trauma of leaving a world of scarcity and reckoning with all the violence and death that produced, like it's just a collective sort of fractured trauma idk if it will heal
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
giving a poor person 1 dollar and then coming back and asking why they aren't rich the next day
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
having problems? try solving them with money!
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
a lot of people ask jess, what is the secret to your business empire, and it's simple really, i just use my money
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
a lot of people ask how i retired early, the secret is money
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
most of life is just accepting stuff like "alright"
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
seeing a guy in a ski mask with big bags of money running away from cops and doing a little head nod to him
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
i wish all non-evil criminals success in their endeavors
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
do you guys think things are working out for Julie's scam
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
you start becoming dumb when you tell yourself you are smart I think
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
there should be a second way to get high with weed and it's like heroin but still weed like and share if you agree
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
(sees crimes beyond comprehension being done to my neighbors) hmm but how does this affect me.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
honestly sometimes depressed people have a point and it's like damn ok i have to give you that one but still please don't kill yourself
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
the dsm is proud to announce a partnership with pepsi for their soda. it will make you mentally ill.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
in the dsm vi theyre renaming depression to "beautiful poetic sadness" and adding a picture of calvin peeing on disabled people
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 3h
there's nothing I want to do but i have to do something
170
Reposted by Jess
Grobian Syboe @grobiansyboe.bsky.social · 4h
When I was wee I knew a boy called Levi, and I can say with certainty that wasn't a biblical name. He was named after jeans.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 5h
furniture is bourgeois actually
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 6h
jess: the official account of yoda
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 7h
just walked past some guys with a pile of power tools they were using and a half drunk bottle of hennessy swag
290
Reposted by Jess
✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 7h
girl who is so very sleepy
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 7h
(after telling a five minute long joke at an open mic with no punchline and multiple digressions that were just violent power fantasies against oppressed groups) tough crowd!
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 7h
do u guys have like "on days" and "off days" on here? it's weird to me the rhythm of stuff sometimes and idk if it's just the times I post or like the mood im in or what
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 7h
siri how many people are killed by sparrow impacts
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 7h
if a bird flies fast enough and runs into your head it kills you instantly so it's actually very smart to flinch at sparrows
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
bro handed me the aux, i plugged it straight into my guitar and laid down some adult contemporary and they said "what the fuck are you doing" and "get out of the car" and "why do we hang out with u"
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
does anyone have a huge amp in a coffin i can borrow to go deaf with
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
one time I was in a small basement with a huge amp and i could feel the guitar in my bones and it was like out of body experience to feel that
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
electric wizard dopethrone
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
any new yorker will instantly recognize this as the ocky way
bacon egg cheese on a roll with mayo but the eggs are ocky
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
hey I'm walking here, to get my sandwich the ocky way
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 8h
god dude he did my sandwich the ocky way again, this is so cool
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
rip jess she died when she caught on fire and could only remember the ruff ryders anthem
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
guys it has come to my attention i got the ruff ryders anthem confused with stop drop and roll again.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
are u having an allergic reaction? stop! rub your eyes really hard.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
yodddaaaaaaa
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
might get a sandwich today.
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
i met yoda, she's an emo
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
if yoda were alive in Washington dc during 1980 i think he would be emo for sure
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Jess @ennui-haver.bsky.social · 11h
at start of function: haha yeah im not gonna talk about yoda after a couple beers: yodddaaaaaaaaaa
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