Reposted by Tim Osmond
Tim Osmond
@chiena.bsky.social
202 followers 635 following 188 posts
Tickling text into place. Rarely English. Localisation and Localism. Plus cats. Always cats.
Tickling text into place. Rarely English. Localisation and Localism. Plus cats. Always cats.
![Steven (with a ph)
@SJKSalisbury
[Googling instructions for disarming a bomb]
For me, disarming bombs is indelibly linked to afternoons spent in my grandmother's kitchen, watching her carefully iron the parchment paper that the nitroglycerin came bound in (to be reused at Christm [Hurried scrolling]
11:35 AM • 2018-09-29](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:vzh3zzjcbamllzjadsmfooxq/bafkreidpq4erppnxineqwomfsuhwurljsjsexqsfxrcusvnnx2pat2yim4)
![Scene is a LONGBOAT sailing on the sea. It is all drawn in the style of the Bayeaux Tapestry. A voice is coming from the boat:
Owwww
Uuuuuuurgh
Ooooooooh
[Scene changes to on the deck of the boat - still drawn like the Bayeaux Tapestry. A SOLDIER is talking to HAROLD, who is lying on the deck of the boat, with the arrow in his eye.]
SOLDIER:
For God's sake stop it Harold!
HAROLD:
Oh I'm sorry. It's not like I've got an ARROW IN MY EYE or anything
SOLDIER:
Look, we discussed this. The arrow is your thing. People want to see the arrow.
HAROLD:
It's been in there for 950 years. I should really see a doctor
SOLDIER:
No! We are travelling to England to be displayed in the British Museum.
What do you think people would say if you didn't have your arrow in?
HAROLD:
I don't care. I want it taken out. It hurts.
SOLDIER:
No.
HAROLD:
But I could get it seen to in England! The NHS has some of the best tapestry eye surgeons in the world!
SOLDIER:
Oh right, I get it, so this is health tourism...
HAROLD:
Duh, no, cos I'm Anglo Saxon?
SOLDIER:
Ohmigod you sound so Brexit
[Silent pause,, they cotuinue to sail]
HAROLD:
Uuuurgh
SOLDIER:
SHUT UP
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib7o5h7pjb446tk4kbiwrkkzdvg7xoq3hw3qankxh6nvyaka6keum)