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The Exile

@xylorjax.bsky.social
405 followers 363 following 1.3K posts

109:8

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Reposted by The Exile
McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 05/10/2026
"Seven former Cornell students are accused of sexually assaulting another student who says she was incapacitated. Messages allegedly inviting other frat members were sent to a group chat during the assault. Everyone is talking about the seven. I keep thinking about the others." buff.ly/z7yWbR2
buff.ly
An Open Letter to Cornell University from the Mother of a Prospective Male Student
“Seven former Cornell students are accused in a civil lawsuit of sexually assaulting another Cornell student who says she was incapacitated. Messages alleged...
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 28/09/2026
I’m increasingly of the belief that we’ve never truly left the Great Financial Crisis. Everything we’re dealing with today started there, and every excess and problem stems from the US government’s failure to contain or eradicate its causes.
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Stan Oklobdzija @stano.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
It's not just in the sense that the law must apply equally to all people and in the sense that many who committed similar crimes will walk. But it's imperative we make several prominent examples of Trump officials for no other reason that their lives will serve as a warning to others.
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Maybe It Will Happen Today @today-maybe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A digital illustration of a version of the big board from Wheel of Fortune. An array of green rectangles (each bearing an icon of a hand with crossed fingers inside a circle with rays), and white rectangles that indicate the letters in the secret phrase contestants are trying to guess. The board is not yet solved and reads like this:

M_YB_ I_
_ILL H_PP_N
__D_Y

Standing next to the board in a shiny pink and maroon evening gown and ready to turn around newly-guessed letters is a woman whose head is a human hand with crossed fingers. 

Below the board in the space where viewers at home are informed what type of  phrase is in play it simply reads ‘PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE’
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McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 22/09/2026
IT IS TIME. buff.ly/pykYN6f
buff.ly
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
For the seventeenth year: Welcome to autumn, fuckheads.
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Ken Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I don’t usually meddle on the writing side of Jeopardy!, but tonight I called in a favor for our Bluesky viewers.
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The Beaverton @thebeaverton.com · 26/08/2026
Report: Tim Curry's death to be investigated by suspicious group of eccentrics gathering at his house
thebeaverton.com
Report: Tim Curry's death to be investigated by suspicious group of eccentrics gathering at his house
LOS ANGELES - Following the death of beloved 80-year-old British actor Tim Curry, observers have noted a coterie of anonymous upper crust suspects arriving at his mansion in order to investigate the m...
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Joe Cirincione @joecirin.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
What’s a car race without a fly over of three strategic bombers? B-1, B-2 and B-52 fly over the DC Indy car race. Since 9/11 we have military power displays at ever sports event you can imagine. It’s time to end this custom.
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
DO 👏 NOT 👏 BOTHER 👏 ME 👏 UNTIL 👏 HE'S 👏 FUCKING 👏 DEAD
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Screamer Jim @screamerjim.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Abolish ICE and salt the earth where it was allowed to grow
chron.com
DHS taunts detained Padres coach in fiery social media post
"NOBODY is above the law, and he will remain in ICE custody pending removal."
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Evan Manvel @evanmanvel.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
One of my favorite trivia notes: for one hour each year, clocks in parts of Florida and Oregon are at the same time. (When Western panhandle FL Central Time sets clocks back, and SE Oregon Mountain Time hasn't yet done the same).
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Maybe It Will Happen Today @today-maybe.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
A digitally stimulated black and white relief print on a toned paper background. In a generally circular shape is the figure of a man in overalls tattered at the legs wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat swinging a scythe toward a stand of tall grass to the right while behind him the landscape is plowed furrows of hilly farmland under swirling sky. His head breaks above the circular composition and is mostly in silhouette against a blazing sun with wavy rays that fill the top of the frame. The circle shape on the bottom is defined by the scythe blade and on the left behind the blade as if following the swing is lettering reading ‘Maybe it will happen today’.
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Chris Scott @iamchrisscott.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
In my lifetime I don’t think anything has made me want to give up on this broken country like the mass shared delusion about something that happened just a few years ago. So many brains are just completely gone and they’re not coming back.
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Monkey One
@vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social
DSA: We're here to get rid of all the people who don't do anything for the community.

CENTRISTS: But, DSA, I don't do anything for the community!
3:21 PM • Jun 27, 2026
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Sounder at Heart @sounderatheart.com · 17/07/2026
35,383 is announced attendance. Largest crowd since 2024 is watching one of the worst performances ever.
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Defector @defector.com · 13/07/2026
Lindsey Graham's hatreds and bigotries were bog-standard for his party, and they were legion.
defector.com
Lindsey Graham Dead, World No Worse | Defector
The Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina died on Saturday, after what reports have called a “brief and sudden illness” following an official visit to Ukraine. He was 71. In 2003 Graham…
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Johnny @doctorvenkman.com · 13/07/2026
🫡
theonion.com
When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years
My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple t...
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🔞sin of dragluttony🔞 @aquivorous.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
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Seth Abramson @sethabramson.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Evergreen post: He could be impeached tonight and convicted at trial in a few weeks and removed from office immediately thereafter if about 20 people in DC decided to put country over party for the first time in their miserable, self-dealing lives
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The Exile @xylorjax.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Dest looks completely checked out so far
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The Exile @xylorjax.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
If, later, they come along and do away with birthright citizenship, I think we should go maximalist with it. The only citizens are Native Americans, and people who went through the multi year naturalization process (but none of their descendents of course). Nobody else. Not me, not them.
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JM =^D @jm539581.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I sped up the roughly 5-1/2 minutes of Algeria just passing ball around before Mahrez's goal
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Alexander Abnos @anabnos.com · 27/06/2026
The environment outside Iran v Egypt is completely unlike any I’ve experienced before. It is a pro-regime gathering + an anti-regime protest + pride night + evangelical anti-LGBTQ protest + free Palestine rally + pro-Israel assembly. Oh, and the majority of people here just want to see a game.
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Tom McAllister @tmcallister.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Interesting that people will still celebrate father's day even though Josef Stalin himself was a father. Not to mention Pol Pot, Steven Seagal, and Cobra Commander
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The Exile @xylorjax.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
REF CRAMP
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CJ Fogler @cjzero.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Rebecca: "Chaps, Alexi left us" Zlatan: "Who? Rebecca: "Alexi will be back, Alexi will be back with us very soon" Thierry: "Your plan worked, Rebecca" Rebecca: "Don't you bring me into this, no chance" Zlatan: "America, you're welcome" lmaooooooooooooooooo
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The Exile @xylorjax.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Tiny taps. Tiny taps.
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The Needling @theneedling.com · 14/06/2026
Socialist Mayor Reigns of Terror Continue with Yet Another Sports Championship Victory: tinyurl.com/3f39hzcb
Image on left of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani watching a Knicks game in a Knicks jersey with friends, Image on right of smiling Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson sporting Seahawks gear including a Super Bowl ring on her finger
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The Onion @theonion.com · 09/06/2026
Commentary: I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake
theonion.com
I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake
Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where the...
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Greg Pak @gregpak.net · 18/05/2026
Everyone involved in posting this should be fired and everyone in the chain of command whose office is subject to impeachment, including the president, should be impeached. Just for this. I am not kidding in the least, and Democrats who let this go by without comment are putting us all in danger.
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Best of Dying Twitter @bestofdyingtwit.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Fairy Gothmother, MD
@jenny2x4
X.com
I already thought Elon's mom constantly defending him on twitter was embarrassing. I didn't even consider that Elon was the one tweeting as his own mom and defending himself, which is maybe the most embarrassing thing l've ever seen
9:52 PM • 5/5/26 • 1.2M Views
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
Not everything that breaks is technically the fault of vibe coding but the kind of culture that would foster vibe coding is the kind that produces a lot of shit that breaks.
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Eric D. Snider @ericdsnider.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
I appreciate that Trump keeps reminding us that it's OK to dance on people's graves if you hate them. I feel like that's going to come in handy.
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Bobsession @bobservo.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
dang, the final lost MST3K episode was JUST found at a garage sale, and now it's on YouTube for all to enjoy. watch and be astounded that a 38-year-old VHS recording held up so nicely: youtu.be/u_Z4hnagGLE?...
youtu.be
MST3K - KTMA - K03 - Star Force
YouTube video by Arthur Putie
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Qagggy! @qagggy.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
He can leave but we keep his name.
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Max Berger @maxberger.bsky.social · 11/03/2026
This administration is committing Watergate level crimes multiple times per week—and those are the ones we know about. It’s crazy to think about what else will come out after. It’s absolutely essential these criminals are held responsible for their crimes. We must end elite impunity.
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Jennifer X. Pumpkins 🎃 @jenyetagain.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
in 2017 a popular twitter game was to type a partial phrase then see what your phone auto-completes it with. this proved so popular that it is now the only business model in the US.
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Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
this post deserves to be presented to you by having an index card moved down word by word with photos taken of your face after every new reveal
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Dan Izzo @izzos.net · 02/03/2026
Uh no...we definitely realize it.
Quote from Washington Times editorial board

"[Radical liberals] don't realize that, when they express contempt for the man who holds the country's highest office, they reveal their contempt for the Americans who put him there."
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Erin Mills @shallow15.bsky.social · 24/02/2026
A rare outtake.
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 12/02/2026
Man I'm so goddamn sick of ai. "Wahhh you can't have a reasonable conversation about ai on here," yeah maybe be mad about the two year parade of scam artists and financial charlatans and environmental ruiners who have radicalized everyone against the spell check that agrees with you
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L. Louise Lucas (mirror bot) @senlouiselucas.bluesky.bot · 07/02/2026
You all started it and we fucking finished it.
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Ted Cruz (@tedcruz)
A brazen abuse of power & an insult to democracy. 47% of VA voted Trump. They will now get just 9% of the seats. 52% of VA voters voted Harris. Now they get 91% of the seats. (By comparison, in TX, 56% voted Trump; GOP gets 79% of the seats.)
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
bennett
@ImagineAGuy
guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???
10:36 AM • 2/6/23
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 20/01/2026
Casey Explosion
@caseyexplosion.bsky.social
Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, l've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiooouuuu
5:06 AM • Dec 17, 2025
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The Exile @xylorjax.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Fuck yeah baby Hawks goin' to SB LX. Here come the goal line pick highlight clips....
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Maybe It Will Happen Today @today-maybe.bsky.social · 21/04/2025
A black and white ink style illustration of a falling anvil with a downward-pointing arrow shape behind it. Above the anvil in the back of the arrow shape are the words ‘MAYBE IT’LL’. Across the side of the anvil is the word ‘HAPPEN’ and in the point of the arrow below the anvil is the word ‘TODAY’
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Bill Kristol @billkristolbulwark.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
Also, may I say that I don’t agree with people saying ICE and CBP need “more training.” They’re doing exactly what this administration has trained them to—impose a reign of fear in blue cities. They don’t need more training. They need to be ripped up root and branch.
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Brennan Lee Mulligan @brennanleemulligan.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
Abolish ICE, prosecute and imprison its leaders, impeach and remove the President from office. This is the only sane reaction to a group of armed men kidnapping and gunning down our neighbors in the street.
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