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Xander Command

@xandercommand.bsky.social
44 followers 132 following 12 posts

Aspiring grungler

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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
I appreciate that Hurts always keeps it real
screenshot of Jalen Hurts addressing the media; he is wearing an Eagles hoodie and Eagles throwback kelly green baseball cap and standing behind the mic in front of a backdrop with alternating Eagles and Toyota logos; fake closed captioning on the pic reads “So I just found out they eat beans for breakfast in London.” screenshot of Jalen Hurts addressing the media; he is wearing an Eagles hoodie and Eagles throwback kelly green baseball cap and standing behind the mic in front of a backdrop with alternating Eagles and Toyota logos; fake closed captioning on the pic reads “Baked beans. Like what you eat at your family's summer picnic or as a side at a barbecue joint and look, l like beans, beans are good, but...”screenshot of Jalen Hurts addressing the media; he is wearing an Eagles hoodie and Eagles throwback kelly green baseball cap and standing behind the mic in front of a backdrop with alternating Eagles and Toyota logos; fake closed captioning on the pic reads “…”screenshot of Jalen Hurts addressing the media; he is wearing an Eagles hoodie and Eagles throwback kelly green baseball cap and standing behind the mic in front of a backdrop with alternating Eagles and Toyota logos; fake closed captioning on the pic reads “…for breakfast? Man, I don’t know about that.”
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bobismeisbob @bobismeisbob.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
My favourite one:
"I don't get the appeal of streams"
"north Atlantic fish watching salmon swim off to get eaten by bears"
"you absolutely cannon ssay shit on this website"
"moderator clarify the rules of the coprophobia support forum"
"god fucking damn it"
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Ms. Moxie @ms-moxie-xoxo.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Ancient but still a banger
Scooby doo autism tweet i didn't even bother cropping the ifunny logo from
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Doug @mynameisstilldoug.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
does this count
Mike.
@dumbmike.bsky.social
TREBEK: According to the lyrics of rapper Lil Ten Five Lb Labey, your nose bridge will be snapping and your cranium will be cracking when you let her drop this bowling ball sized snack on your face.
CONTESTANT:

[Quoted post]
cakemittens 
@cakemittens.bsky.social
let me preface this by saying I've had sex, and most of the people I've had sex with had pussies. what is a fifteen pound pussy.
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Unfrozen Caveman Librarian @latefiennes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Original Tweet: “I like Hole better than Nirvana”

Quote Tweet: “me leaving the monastery”
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The Hollywood Reporter @thr.com · 26/09/2026
The Major Social Media Platforms Are All Rejecting Paid Ads for Alex Gibney’s ‘Musk’ (Exclusive)
bit.ly
The Major Social Media Platforms Are All Rejecting Paid Ads for Alex Gibney’s ‘Musk’ (Exclusive)
So much for free speech.The studio releasing Alex Gibney’s new Elon Musk documentary Musk is finding itself unable to buy an ad on the biggest social platforms.YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram and Facebook owner Meta are all declining to run the trailer for Musk, along with X itself, The Hollywood Reporter has learned.That last one is perhaps understandable, given its owner. But the rejection by the other platforms has taken distributor Bleecker Street by surprise, and it is internally scrambling to understand why the ad has been rejected, according to a person familiar with the company’s processes who is not authorized to talk about them publicly.The unwillingness of platforms to accept even paid advertising is sure to raise concerns about free speech and the dwindling number of companies that control many of the platforms in this country — and ironically provide a proof-text for the very point the film is coming to make. Gibney’s doc is a four-hour look at a title character who attempts to control the conversation in various ways, including with alleged suppressions on X, which he bought in 2022.
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Iris/アイリス 🏳️‍⚧️ @irisdescentbird.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
funniest rom hack reasoning of all time
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shaunt @shaunvids.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
my steam account is old enough to buy alcohol. i signed up with a credit card. my username is a reference to a game from 1992. what do you mean age verification. my hair is going grey
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Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Carly Rae Jepsen is great in part because her songs are horny in ways that most musicians can't capture all of. Cheerfully horny. Wistfully horny. Hornnui. She has the horny range.
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Shana @shanamd.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I am SORRY for sharing something that was posted on the other place, but this is too good.
The future pope at a party with a caption “they don’t know I’m the future pope”
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Pride Ott 🦦 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @hikoukihikouki9.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Take shamefully stolen from eugenics twink but it is funny how porn is often considered one of the major vices of the digital era but unlike infinite scrolling algorithmically curated content it has a very obvious end state where you get on with the rest of your life
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Prem Thakker ツ @premthakker.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
New: Macklemore says Robert Kraft — who owns Gillette Stadium, where Macklemore & Ed Sheeran were to perform later this month — called Sheeran. Kraft rallied other owners together behind an ultimatum for Sheeran: if Macklemore stays on the tour, you won't be allowed in our venues.

I'm not sure how to start this. So I'm going to speak from the heart and share the truth. Ed Sheeran and his team have made the decision to remove me from The Loop tour.
But before I get into it, I want to say something that should be obvious. In this moment I think it matters. I am not a victim. Ed Sheeran is not a victim. Pink is not a victim. We have careers, money, opportunities, safety and audiences around the world. Whatever consequences any of us face for what we say, we get to go home to our families.

The victims are the Palestinian people. The men, women and children who have been killed, starved, displaced and forced to live through unimaginable violence. More than 20,000 children have been killed in Gaza alone. People are being killed today, and people will be killed tomorrow. I want to make sure that as I tell this story, we don't lose sight of that.

Ed is my friend. I've known him for 13 years. We've shared late nights, studio sessions and stages. He has this infectious magic about him that I've grown to love. I consider him a brother. And because of that, we've had some difficult conversations this past week. The type of talks rooted in love and respect for one another that still end in a place of fundamental disagreement. Nothing I'm writing here is out of spite or because I want to tear down his character. But as I told Ed multiple times on the phone, our friendship can't change my responsibility to tell the truth about what happened.

Last Monday, in the middle of all the media attention surrounding Pink and what I said at MetLife, Ed told me that Robert Kraft called him. We were scheduled to play Gillette Stadium later this month, which is owned by the Kraft Group. Ed told me that Kraft said I would not be allowed to perform in his stadium. Ed also told me that Kraft had rallied some of the other
stadium owners and collectively they gave him an ultimatum: if Macklemore stays on the tour, you will not be allowed to play in our venues.

Ed was in …What I said at MetLife I have been saying on stages around the world for almost three years. So why is it an issue now? Because now I'm sharing a stage with one of the biggest artists in the world, in some of the biggest stadiums in America. At a certain level of exposure, "Free Palestine" becomes too much of a risk. If I kept doing the shows, saying Free Palestine, with Ed implicitly supporting it, the crowd getting loud and showing undeniable support for Palestinian liberation, what artist might speak out next? The stage becomes resistance. Maybe that's why this time it became so important to silence me.

And one of the most effective ways to enforce that silence has been to weaponize the accusation of antisemitism. Antisemitism is real. And that is exactly why the word matters too much to be used as a shield against criticism of the Israeli state. When criticizing Israel, opposing Zionism or saying "Free Palestine" gets conflated with hatred of Jewish people, it doesn't protect Jewish people. It protects Israel from accountability.

I hope this isn't the end of my relationship with Ed.
Thirteen years of friendship doesn't disappear because of one painful disagreement. I hope we both continue listening, studying what is happening in Palestine and wrestling with what neutrality means in a moment like this. My door will always be open to continuing that conversation.

When my brother Omar was doing the subtitles for the video I posted from MetLife, I thanked him. He told me there's a phrase in Arabic:
لا شكر على واجب
"La shukra ala wajeb." There is no thanks for a duty.
That stayed with me. Because that's what this has become for me and millions of others around the world. A duty. Not something deserving of praise or gratitude. Not brave. Human.

Who is winning the internet, who is getting canceled, who gets to play the stadium and who doesn't, all of it becomes so small when held against what we are actually witnessing in Gaza and the West Bank. An entire people be…
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Gianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
if Digger is a musical I will convert to Scientology
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Ash @santanaelchan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
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Machine Gun Kill-Me @machinegunphilly.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
They prefer be called John Coheed and Daryl Cambria, actually.
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Kae Kolormore @kaekolormore.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
many of you
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onion person @junlper.beer · 31/08/2026
join the DSA
act.dsausa.org
Join DSA. Become a member today.
Democratic socialists have an historic opportunity and responsibility to play a central role in continuing the political revolution for the long term. As a democratic, grassroots organization, DSA is ...
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
It’s time to center yourself by repeating these words of power.
Text with humorous "Warrior Affirmations" about interactions with Jesus, mentioning things like being cool, waiting before inviting Jesus home, and watching "Pawn Stars" on the couch.
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revolver ocelthot @rnaboursiii.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
This is what datacenters are taking from you
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Pat @pizzasuplex.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Bro you got angry birds’d. Your mean green pig ass got knocked off the level with the physics. Bro
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Mrs. Detective PikaBOO, Esq. @clapifyoulikeme.favrd.social · 16/08/2026
Apparently Lilly Wachowski does s tier alt text
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Alex Ip 葉清霖 @alexip718.com · 15/08/2026
ICYMI, over the past two weeks, English-language Wikipedia editors have engaged in a successful effort to change the first paragraph of the Republican Party entry to reflect its current status as a "neo-nationalist" political party. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Republi...
en.wikipedia.org
Republican Party (United States) - Wikipedia
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🐈‍⬛🌙 @lune.monster · 13/08/2026
Stole this from the comments because this shit shouldn't be behind a paywall.
Crucially, the GLOVE has limitations, chief among them that for the device to work effectively and deliver its restraining pain shock, it must come into contact with the subject's bare skin. According to Compliant Technologies, the gloves won't work through dry clothing or thick hair. The gloves will work, however, if the subject is wearing thin, wet clothing, such as soaked T-shirts or blouses. The GLOVE also does not like being dunked in water and will likely be rendered inoperable if this happens.
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Alex @axmdoes.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
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pixelframe.design @pixelframe.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
NOW has been compiling the most irritating songs for decades, but now you can use the logo style to "call" anything! The NOW THAT"S WHAT I CALL MUSIC! Font & Logo Generator is live now!
pixelframe.design
NOW That’s What I Call Music Logo Font Cover Generator
Type a headline, banner line, and bottom text to build a bold, layered graphic modeled on the NOW That's What I Call Music series, complete with a gradient face, automatic sizing to mimic the original logo stack, and simulated depth.
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Chris B-Eeeeek!-ler 👻 @cwbuecheler.com · 06/08/2026
I would like to see more companies admit this - being a public company no longer means running a successful, thriving business. It strictly means delivering growth to investors, every single quarter, who do not care at all about the product the company sells or the people who produce it.
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Micah @rincewind.run · 06/08/2026
Outkast’s Ms Jackson just came on at the gym and I will never in my life be able to hear that song without thinking about this comic
I’m sorry Ms Jackson parody comic where instead of “I am for real” it is “I am four eels”
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Brawlcats @brawlcats.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
airbnb I’m staying at unintentionally created the toughest punk album cover of 2027
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Michael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
"Some harm reduction advocates are annoying" isn't a serious policy analysis or prescription. Everyone wants to get homeless people off the streets. Harm reduction advocates want to get them into shelters and treatment, which works. Their opponents want incarceration, which doesn't.
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Michael Hobbes @michaelhobbes.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
This is the exact problem, right here: people would rather make up a social justice warrior to get mad at than take a hard, honest look at the problem.
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Jesse Crooks @jessecrooks.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
Wild Danny DeVito lore.
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
section of "undisputed championship (boxing)"
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Nathan Daniel Hernandez @natedhernandez.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Gotta shut down the factory that makes this kinda guy
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tobyfox @tobyfox.undertale.com · 22/06/2026
Last time I was at the store with my parents, we were looking at novelty socks and my mom picked these up and said quietly, "Undertale?"
Socks of southpark
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
True InfoWarriors unquestioningly support independent journalism and independent thought.
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 22/07/2026
Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal.
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Max Kennerly @maxkennerly.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Whatever could be said about that claim when he made it in 1962, it soon became undeniable that government vaccine research, distribution, and mandates are objectively among the greatest achievements of civilization. Claiming otherwise is embarrassing, it's like saying you don't wash your hands.
Chart of the polio vaccine obliterating poliochart of the measles vaccine smashing measles into bits
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
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Mike Rugnetta @mikerugnetta.com · 15/07/2026
Cannot stress enough that corporate media is hostile to you and your way of life. It must be left behind. All of it.
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
losing my mind at how ruthless this sentence is
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Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 12/07/2026
Amnesty International put out a major report documenting the influence of UK based anti trans gender critical organizations and their funding. Within hours, GC groups threatened defamation lawsuits and Amnesty was forced to pull it down. Proving the point they're anti rights. Anyways, here it is.
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Aftermath @aftermath.site · 13/07/2026
I will go down swinging against Windows 11 aftermath.site/windows-11-nope
Windows 11
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LumpyTouch @lumpytouch.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I made a Garfield breeding simulator.
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Nicholas Grossman @nicholasgrossman.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Lindsey Graham spent the last decade of his life in public service as a US Senator, trying hard to be remembered as an enemy of the Constitution who worked to destroy American democracy and exhibited occasional signs that he knew why that was bad but kept doing it anyway. I will honor his choice.
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ceej @ceej.online · 27/03/2024
every dead senator gets a thoughtful obituary lauding their “courage” and then if you look it up the courage was filibustering the Give Medicine to Cancer Kids act
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R.L. @rhymes.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
watching twilight and I keep making myself laugh imagining if it was just that bitch alucard or any other vampire instead of Edward
Bella Swan from the Twilight saga enters a classroom. She seems nervous.Bella looks up, and something across the room catches her eyeAlucard from hellsing is patiently sitting in class.
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Aoḋán Ó Conġaile @tinydonkey.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
Alex Trebek, the host of jeopardy
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Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Sick. Awesome. Thanks for that. Really preferred this to funding a Blade game by the Dishonored people or people at Obsidian having jobs.
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Scam Ghouldin @scamgoldin.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
The best edit I’ve seen in weeks, you absolutely have to turn the sound on for this one.
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