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brainplan

@brainplan.bsky.social
324 followers 568 following 5.2K posts

Phillies, Lifetime movie, Cop Rock, discontinued McDonald’s menu items/ad campaigns enthusiast. But we don’t have to talk about any of that, we can talk about your things, whatever.

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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 1h
September 30th/October 1st
Richard Simmons, sitting on a white cylinder shape wearing a sky blue tank top with a white tank top underneath, white and light blue short shorts, and white socks and sneakers, a classic Richard Simmons fit Richard Simmons wearing white socks/sneakers, black leggings with a skeleton print on them, black bedazzled tank top, and shades, standing posing with hands on hips and one foot propped up on a chair
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 4h
is this anything
screenshot of the TOTALLY REDEEMED YOURSELF scene from Dumb and Dumber except a pic of Bryce Harper during his postgame interview today is pasted over Lloyd and Harry is wearing a Phillies cap
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 6h
contrary to what you may have heard/read, you cannot kill a Liberty Biberty by shooting it in its face with a shotgun at point blank range and in fact if you do that it will just fracture into 5 new Libertys Biberty that will immediately grow far larger and far more violent than the original one
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 8h
gotta re-up this one
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 9h
I am ecstatic and I want to die
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 9h
first pitch pop up from Turner in a huge moment
a resigned looking Donald Trump giving a thumbs up to the camera without looking at the camera; I pasted a Phillies cap on his head
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 10h
so, uh…that’s a play that we’ll be talking about forever, huh
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 10h
Philip Seymour Hoffman in Punch Drunk Love, the “shut up” phone scene
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 11h
lock up that creep in that electric razor ad who keeps telling us how good his electric razor is at shaving his balls and throw away the key
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Reposted by brainplan
captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · 11h
MAD TV’S 100 BEST TV SHOWS OF THE 21st CENTURY 1. Butter Ball Saul 2. Hicks 3. Widow’s Bae 4. Mad Men’s Wearhouse 5. Succotashion 6. Kevin Hart Can Fuck Himself 7. The Wirewolf 8. Slow Lorises 9. Twin Peaky Blinders 10. Reacheround
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 12h
welp, it is once again almost time to watch my favorite baseball team play baseball
the Toby Maguire crying/laughing crying meme with Phillies caps pasted on his head
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 15h
(preemptively stating this is not supposed to be a political statement about how Trump is a puppet, nor is it supposed to be “hardeeharr derdurp Dunham has his hand up Trump’s ass” gay panic shit; I just thought Trump’s legs in that vid looked like dangly ventriloquist dummy legs, is all)
Jeff Dunham, onstage with one of his puppet characters except I pasted Trump from the video quoted here over the puppet because I thought his legs in that video looked like dangly ventriloquist dummy legs
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 16h
Check this shit out motherfucker [I pull up my spotify playlist consisting of all ai music tailored to me and it sucks ass unbelievably hard, it is unclear who I was trying to impress with it]
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Reposted by brainplan
Foucault's Pudendum @kaitave.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
We're pretty past the horizon on "incremental change will save us," the only language anybody seems to understand is overwhelming brute force, so yeah, chuck it all in the bin if that's what it takes to enact "colleges where rapists aren't a protected, lauded class with their own special clubhouses"
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
when sports are bad it’s good to remember that at the end of the day it’s just a game and the important things in life are going well, like at least we’re not living through a time when literally every single thing gets more expensive and dumber and worse literally every single day
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
now that is some Classic Phillies Baseball
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
they brought Durán out in the 7th because Stubbs will pitch the 9th
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
an all time “that ball is OUTTA H—wait, nvm” call from Vasgersian dork
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
just fantastic timing for the Phillies Little League Baserunning Errors™️ to make a comeback
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
this is what adding 15 pounds of muscle gets you
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
it is almost time for Phillies postseason baseball
screenshot from a video that’s just a compilation of people screaming in front of a solid black backdrop; it’s a middle aged white guy looking particularly deranged and shaking his fists while screaming and I pasted a Phillies cap on his head
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
it is #RockOnTuesday and Phillies wild card gameday so I am ordering a doubling of the rockin’ on today, get up outta your seat and move it, the rock isn’t gonna on itself
extremely low res pic of Michael “Danny Romalotti” Damian that appears to be from the late 1980s/early 1990s 

Damian’s rocking a black leather jacket with graphic tee underneath and his hair is teased out as fuck—think later seasons Stamos on Full House and you get the idea 

in the upper left hand corner, black text reads #RockOnTuesday

I have also pasted a Phillies cap resting at a jaunty angle on top of Damian’s large hair
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Reposted by brainplan
Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Bongo” Ballpoint pen, pencil, watercolor, acrylic paint, and a little colored pencil.

Our man is in trouble this time, reader. Art supplies are scattered around a painting of an abstract cityscape. On the canvas we see a man in a telephone booth making a frantic call to his cat, Bongo. In the foreground, an answering machine is taking his voicemail, [Leave a message at the beep] --- “Bongo, Daddy got stuck in the painting. Go get help, Bongo.” Bongo stands at the base of the easel looking at the phone. Her tail in the air and ears perked up. Whether she’ll be able to help is open to interpretation.

Artist’s note: One of my favorites from the Spooky Pants book. I was playing around with the idea of a painting coming to life (like that guy in Ghostbusters 2) and kind of fumbled my way into this version. I really draw a lot of corded phones. I won’t stop.
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
people are saying “phils won so the birds had to lose” or whatever but I don’t believe that superstitious stuff, the reason for the birds’ performance tonight is much simpler than that (they ate italian beef sandwiches before the game and they all got diarrhea)
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“I hope the birds wake up in the 2nd half” the birds in the 2nd half:
a figurine of a clown fast asleep fully clothed in a bathtub that has a “DO NOT DISTURB” sign on it
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Reposted by brainplan
Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Introducing Gurpo
A drawing of a small blobby figure inside of an enclosure with string coming off it, with text saying "introducing Gurpo, the new wearable personal assistant. Gurpo is not a computer program, he's a real tiny guy who is trapped inside your medallion necklace. 
Gurpo hates you, but is incapable of doing anything about it, and he has to answer your questions or he gets electrocuted. It's non-lethal.
If you shake his enclosure hard enough, gurpo will throw up!"
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
ok birds, someone put a tack on Hurts’ seat in the locker room or something, angry Hurts is working
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“IT’S ANDY DALTON O’ CLOCK, LFG” -Andy Dalton “aw man” -Andy Dalton, 3 minutes later
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
some highlight reel stuff from the birds’ d so far
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
McAfee and Kelce pregame all “hey, these football players are some big dudes”
John Oliver sarcastically saying “cool”
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
once again: go birds
youtu.be
John Ashcroft
YouTube video by pdx
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
good stuff from LeBron on media day
screenshot of LeBron James addressing the media on Sixers media day; altered closed captioning reads “My favorite song? It's probably that Crash Test Dummies one.” screenshot of LeBron James addressing the media on Sixers media day; altered closed captioning reads “You heard that one, you know what I’m talking about? From the 90s?” screenshot of LeBron James addressing the media on Sixers media day; altered closed captioning reads “That one with the guy with the low voice and he’s all like, he goes” screenshot of LeBron James addressing the media on Sixers media day; altered closed captioning reads “mmm mmm mmm mmm”
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
it’s called the Wild Card round because it’s each team’s chance to “play a wild card,” so to speak, such as having 3 catchers on the roster
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Phillies announced their starting pitchers for the Wild Card: Game 1: Sánchez Game 2: Stubbs Game 3: Raley opening for Stubbs
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
credit where it’s due, top notch casting in Taylor Swift’s new music video
three screenshots from Taylor Swift’s Patient Zero music video, featuring Colin Farrell, Taylor Swift, and Dakota Johnson 

I pasted Richard Kind’s head over Farrell’s in the screenshot of him, no offense to Farrell but his role in the video was the part Kind was born to play, imo
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
for the record, I am fine, there was never a doubt in my mind, ring the red october high hopes bell or whatever, let’s go I AM FINE
screenshot from The Last Man On Earth featuring Phil Tandy Miller (Will Forte), clad in a filthy hoodie, boxer briefs, and boots and standing with hands on hips in the middle of the living room of the house where he took up residence following the virus that killed almost everyone on earth 

the room looks like an episode of Hoarders and he is clearly unwell
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
SNAKES UNALIVED
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
the FIGHTINS I take back every snide comment I made about them the past couple of weeks* *I reserve the right to untake everything back depending on how things go Tuesday through Thursday
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Reposted by brainplan
Matthew De George @sportsdoctormd.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The Phillies are 12 outs from the postseason, and the Phanatic is naked. Truly a week at the ballyard
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
“going into game 162, the Phillies control their destiny!” yeah, that’s uh…that’s what I’m afraid of
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Xi Jinping’s got the shine to him? huge if true
social media post from Bette Midler with the caption “Vote for Blue!” and pic attached of Melania Trump, Donald Trump, and Xi Jinping on what appears to be the White House balcony 

(I have seen this pic making the rounds but don’t know if it’s real, ai, or a real pic “enhanced” by ai—it just got attention because Melania and Donald both look miserable in it and people were like “lol, they hate each other”) 

a thought balloon coming from Trump’s head says “She hates me!” and a speech balloon is coming from Xi’s head saying “You spelled ‘Xi’ wrong!” which makes it appear as though Xi has the shine to him and can hear Trump’s thoughts (not sure how he could see how Trump’s thoughts are spelled, though) but committed the faux pas of not being cool about having the shine to him and responded to Trump’s thought out loud, which would have probably freaked out Trump but just confused everyone else, as it would seem like he just blurted out a non sequitur 

and idk man, if you’re gonna engage in quasi hack political cartooning at least have a premise that makes sense
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
important to note that this is missing some important context: despite what you might think looking at this final score, it was actually much worse
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
all in all a great outing for the Phils ON OPPOSITE DAY #gottem
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
almost a Little League Baserunning Error from Harper there, really giving us peak Fightins tonight
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
new vocal stim just dropped (saying “sspoehrtss, sspoehrtss, sspoehrtss,” Sydney Sweeney style)
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
these developments in the 7th inning would be very exciting if they weren’t DOWN 10 RUNS
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
it is [GOOGLES “ANTONYMS FOR BEDLAM”] at the bank
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Phillies, I—
scene from Tommy Boy where Chris Farley has the meltdown and his hair is all sticking up; I pasted a Phillies cap resting on top of his crazy hair
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
let’s check in with your Philadelphia Phillies
that dusty alien body in a box from Mexico with a Phillies cap on its head
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brainplan @brainplan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
intentionally loading the bases with 2026 José Alvarado on the mound, that’s what we call smart baseball
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