Reposted by Alaina PattersonFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 09/01/2024ok time to log on to the information superhighway and use my little ape brain to process the individual traumas of 8 billion people at once this will be fine 51367417
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMarisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 10/10/2026statler and waldorf but it’s al-sayed and ossoff heckling republicans 784976665
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 11/10/2026Outwardly, I am rooting for the White Sox, 100%, Inwardly, I ponder whether, if the Guardians can get to the World Series, if they are the key to knocking us back onto the timeline that the Cubbies pushed us onto back in 2016. 100
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMad Scholar Frights @mattzollerseitz.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Wow, I wrote this one a long, long time ago – it's a rant about people going to see old movies so that they can watch them "ironically" and laugh 1921832
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 10/10/2026Dad didn't have a post-hole digger, he was just gonna use shovels. I dug the hole myself, and thank jeebus I did, look at this big fuckin rock i excavated that was right where that stupid mailbox is gonna live 000
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I just rage-mowed the front lawn because I am 43 years old and am still not being heard by my parents, AMA (Actually, feel free to mute this thread, I need to vent and Bluesky, you're my HVAC atm, sorry not sorry) 100
Reposted by Alaina PattersonTom Scocca @tomscocca.bsky.social · 09/10/2026It's weird how the same people who brought in the pitch clock and the extra-innings ghost runner to spare baseball fans from watching too much baseball think it's a good idea to add more early-round non-elimination playoff games 5684
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 09/10/2026It has apparently been too long between my Hannibal rewatches because WHO HAS ONE TONGUE AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE COLUMBIAN NECKTIE IN "RÔTI" it's me. I forgot.static.klipy.comVergil675 raises a glass of wineAlt: Dr. Hannibal Lecter, as played by Mads Mikkleson, smiles and toasts with a glass of red wine. 000
Reposted by Alaina PattersonDave Dustin @dustin.nz · 07/10/2026"YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK" 9878852125
Reposted by Alaina PattersonWoodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Car ads overestimate how much I want to rock climb and kayak and underestimate how much I want to buy ice cream at midnight. 938481
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 07/10/2026As someone who has closely observed ME Senate President Jackson in action - can confirm. And as weird as it feels for me to say ... Troy's going a good job tonight 👏 010
Reposted by Alaina PattersonGrudgie the Wail @grudgie.bsky.social · 06/10/2026We are going to erase the national debt by selling chances to destroy Trump shit with a sledgehammer 2153385
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMarisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 06/10/2026dennis hastert and jim bakker in the same day feels like an apology for dolly and tim curry 25386761190
Reposted by Alaina PattersonCount Draugula @artd.bsky.social · 05/10/2026the abolitionist's dilemma 452746598
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 05/10/2026As a Cubs fan, I am also incredibly aware of how this win fucked up the universe, so yes, go Brewers! 010
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 04/10/2026I, a Red Sox fan, will happily be cheering for the Yankees in the event it's a Yankees-Dodgers series. Fuck the Dodgers! 010
Reposted by Alaina PattersonKevin Tompkins, but halloween @ktompkinsii.bsky.social · 04/10/2026hating on the 2026 Yankees is weird focus on the real enemy: the Los Angeles Dodgers 881
Reposted by Alaina PattersonJessica McKenzie @jessimckenzi.bsky.social · 03/10/2026i don't think you should be allowed to call your business a speakeasy if it has a yelp page 31280113
Reposted by Alaina PattersonFred, His Enemy Getting a Vote @thefred.bsky.social · 03/10/2026That's great, and if the Democrats get a two-thirds majority in both houses of Congress in 2029 and control 38 state governments, they too can make constitutional changes and remove judges the way Tisza is. 0498
Reposted by Alaina Pattersonroterote @roterote.bsky.social · 03/10/2026For a very clear comparison, emulating Magyar would be removing all the MAGA justices and judges from Federal Courts in the first 100 days. That is the scale of democratic chemotherapy we are discussing. 20825161
Reposted by Alaina Pattersonroterote @roterote.bsky.social · 03/10/2026The US Democrats need to look at their next Presidency as an endless sprint to obliterate MAGA, every day for years. Until the cancer is gone then there should be no time wasted on MAGA tears or conciliation. Only endless justice and rebuilding the democracy. Govern like every day is the last day. 151035256
Reposted by Alaina PattersonDr. Sarah Parcak @indyfromspace.bsky.social · 02/10/2026I just called us "Homey Sapiens" as a typo in my book, wake up babe, new species name just dropped 1959372
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 01/10/2026As a Maniac Evelyn Normielib who used to work for L.L. Bean, PLEASE NOTE that L.L. Bean is DEAD to me for canceling my order for the Beans x Dunkin sweater collaboration. I will carry this grudge to my grave 000
Reposted by Alaina PattersonJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 23/09/2026WARNING: Moose will try to diagnose what is wrong with your broken vehicle. 81249233
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Tag yourself I'm the adhd chaos crafter who is also a political sicko 000
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 30/09/2026LET'S GO RED SOX (Yes I'm late. I was at a Symphony performance which was actually quite amazing I HAVE NO RAGERTS) 110
Reposted by Alaina Pattersonsamuelwa.de @samuelwa.de · 28/09/2026My “Involved in Human Trafficking“ shirt has a lot of people asking questions that are making me want to stop wearing my shirt rather than reconsider my involvement in human trafficking 33896546
Reposted by Alaina PattersonJ. R. Moock, jr. @jrmoockjr.northsky.social · 27/09/2026This has fucked me up more than once. If you have a coconut allergy, you NEED to be careful about anything with “activated charcoal” anywhere near the label. 10651434
Reposted by Alaina PattersonJill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Sign me up for "Secretary of Just Taking a Sledgehammer To Whatever The Last Guy Put Up" in the next administration 919028
Reposted by Alaina PattersonSorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Aries: Fuck you. 2343397
Reposted by Alaina Pattersonrax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 25/09/2026you guys broke watergate 22889381220
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Immediate crimes: 1) Hannibal is nowhere on this list?! 2) Louie is above Hacks 3) Louie is even on this list, full stop 4) How the fuck is Breaking Bad still ranked so high 100
Reposted by Alaina PattersonJerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 23/09/2026me: no worries (galadriel voice) but they were all of them deceived, for another worry was made 232628614
Reposted by Alaina Pattersondarth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 23/09/2026reminder to every democratic rival to bring up trump ever harder lol 20863161
Reposted by Alaina PattersonLu @rendernev.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Welcome, Autumnal Equinox. The King of Autumn greets thee.🍂 121260418
Reposted by Alaina Pattersonmattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 20/09/2026everyone always wanna get van helsing when draculas are about but here’s the thing: dracula was killed by a cowboy…if you’re a transylvanian peasant your ass needs to get to the rodeo 13857154
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 18/09/202620th? As in 20 years ago? Are you sure? 000
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMad Scholar Frights @mattzollerseitz.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I still can't believe this was on NBC in primetime. 1316214
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 17/09/2026Hahahaha I have the best fucking timing and then have the gall to be mad at myself for not reading a room but also getting hurt over not getting the reaction I wanted *because* I didn't read the fucking room 000
Reposted by Alaina PattersonBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Macklemore: Palestinian children are people. Robert Kraft *actively getting a handjob from a strip mall prostitute he refuses to tip*: We must ban this hate speech from every stadium in America. Let me call up my friends, the Epstein client list. Ed Sheeran: Good point, sir. Both sides, sir. 10085531484
Reposted by Alaina PattersonHell-a Bambust 🏳️⚧️ (alleged transsexual)(spooky) @ela-bambust.bsky.social · 15/09/2026BREAKING: Gillian Anderson reminds everyone that she's pansexual, allowing millions of lesbians worldwide continue to live under the delusion that they have a shot. 661952190
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMrs. Julia GHOULia @disnazzio.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Also Ed Sheeran’s music sucks as bad as his politics and he can eat a dick. 1437
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 15/09/2026APPARENTLY the universe will say, yes, you can have an amazing Nice Thing but then in return it will give you YOU WILL FORGET ALL THE THINGS you need to remember 🤦♀️ (And these are physical items, not facts or a to-do list) 000
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Okay. So. How am I supposed to just... go to "work," when I apparently am, For Reals, the Magic Ticket Girl and fuckin BREEZED through the latest battle of the Tocketmaster Wars and now i have knowledge that me and my sister will be seeing Harry Styles in Paris next year HOW. 120
Reposted by Alaina PattersonMicah @rincewind.run · 11/09/2026yeah the one plausible silver lining of “the budget is turbofucked” is that because you can’t deliver massive new policy programs the best way to show you’re Doing Something is to be the Consequences President SCOTUS reform and new states would also help 734540
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I swear to god, get me and my friends in a room and we can bang out a season of scripts of The New Muppet Show in a weekend. 151
Alaina Patterson @willbefunorelse.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Happy* 25th Anniversary of That Time Bio Lab Got Cancelled And Alaina Pissed Off Her Mom By Being Sarcastic** During A National Tragedy *obvi not actually "happy," you get it **25 years and snark is still my go-to, nothing's changed 100
