Reposted by RandyThe Onion @theonion.com · 01/10/2026Dude Wipes Introduces New Flushable Khakis theonion.com/dude-wipes-introduces-… 502548301 2.5K
Reposted by RandyRetro Tech Dreams @retrotechdreams.bsky.social · 02/09/2026The Sims (2000) 236878 368
Reposted by RandyStephen Wolf @stephenwolf.bsky.social · 02/07/2026The Declaration of Independence specifies 27 grievances with King George III and Britain. Donald Trump and his regime have committed at least 20 of those same offenses highlighted in yellow. Happy 250, America! 361844944 1.8K
Reposted by RandyWrighty @wrightsnake.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Nice thing to see on my way home. 76165605326 16.6K
Reposted by RandyHildur Knútsdóttir @hildur.bsky.social · 01/06/2026Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼 199135383579 13.5K
Reposted by RandyJohn Moe @johnmoe.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Sometimes I think of singles, like two-sided 45s, that ought to exist. SIDE A: "Waiting for My Man" by The Velvet Underground SIDE B: "Here Comes Your Man" by Pixies SIDE A: "Love Will Keep Us Together" by Captain & Tenille SIDE B: "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division 7428748 287
Randy @raaaaaaaaaandy.bsky.social · 27/04/2026Fixed it for you: AI boom woes threaten Colorado River 000 0
Reposted by RandySimon Marks @simonmarksfsn.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Impossible to disagree with a single word that Ben Rhodes (Obama era NSC official) is saying here: 463231437586 23.1K
Reposted by RandyAaron Gleeman @aarongleeman.bsky.social · 03/04/2026This got a cheer that might end up being the loudest of the season at Target Field. 555509564 5.5K
Reposted by RandyPavel @spavel.bsky.social · 24/03/2026The Onion is here to stay. It is going to disrupt everything. We are living in the The Onion era. How are you using The Onion to turbocharge your productivity? Your answer will affect your annual performance evaluations. 171155103 1.2K
Reposted by RandyPhilip Bump @pbump.com · 24/03/2026Sure, gas is $4.30 a gallon near my house. But think of what we’re getting in return! 3462745 627
Reposted by RandyMatt Ford @mford.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Jim Cramer suggests on CNBC that Trump could “bomb Tehran into the Stone Age” until Iran reopens the strait, citing U.S. bombings of North Vietnam in the 1970s. Carl Quintanilla points out to him that Hanoi won that war. 27578911555 7.9K
Reposted by RandyDaniel Suitor @danielsuitor.com · 09/03/2026This puts me at 10 people released. I filed my 1st habeas petition 29 days ago. I am an incredibly small-time, nobody lawyer who knew nothing about immigration law the day I submitted that case. I barely know any more today. I had never sued the federal government and now I've beaten them 10 times. 301112282507 11.2K
Reposted by RandyLegalEagle @legaleagle.tv · 08/03/2026It’s cool that this generation gets to find out the answer to “what would you have done when we started interning the Japanese?” and “what would you have done when we invaded Vietnam?” and “what would you have done in Watergate?” all at the same time. 312458590 2.5K
Reposted by RandyJohn Moe @johnmoe.bsky.social · 06/03/2026Me driving the other dads to the Dave & Buster’s out by the old mall: 2267166 671
Reposted by RandyRob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 06/03/2026These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it 7365141388 6.5K
Reposted by RandyDan O’Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Markwayne is actually a noble title, and is the Oklahoma equivalent to "Marquis," and may be passed on at the same time your father gives you his car dealership 824747763 4.7K
Reposted by RandyNY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Corey Lewandowski to begin affair with Markwayne Mullin 752800440 2.8K
Reposted by RandyWill Bunch @willbunch.bsky.social · 05/03/2026This is AI in a nutshell: Somebody gets rich while the masses are rendered stupid 18451137 451
Reposted by RandyNY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Polymarket to allow bets on the name of the new terrorist organization spawned by the war in Iran. 351064164 1.1K
Reposted by Randybootion of @candlestick.bsky.social · 04/03/2026just dropped a can of whoopass on the floor. it's fucking everywhere. it's under the fridge 251718354 1.7K
Reposted by RandyThe Lincoln Project @lincolnproject.us · 04/03/2026Today we recognize you @realdonaldtrump on #WorldObesityDay. Representation matters ❤️ 861184238 1.2K
Reposted by RandyJustin Baragona @justinbaragona.bsky.social · 03/03/2026This is just fucking gibberish. John Fetterman: "This wasn‘t an illegal war. I mean this isn‘t a dumb war or anything. This, no, this -- this was, this is what was, we all agreed, we can‘t ever allow it to happen. And that‘s happened. And now there are other kinds of unknown things going out." 7633392 333
Reposted by RandyAndrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 02/03/2026ok but steak n shake is frying their fries in beef tallow now so maybe think about that next time youre complaining about gas prices as you fill up your tank 20947109 947
Reposted by RandyAndrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 28/02/2026things every single republican president of your lifetime has done - started a war in the middle east - completely destroyed the economy 299261358797 26.1K
Reposted by Randya swarm of autumn bugs @facefullabugs.bsky.social · 25/02/2026Love the glimpse into the beautiful mind that notated this used copy of Moby Dick I got 234178193363 17.8K
Reposted by RandyJoel Kibbles @goodposter.bsky.social · 24/02/2026Hey why did the costco ceo actually reply to my email 1516975913 7K
Reposted by RandyPatriotTakes 🇺🇸 @patriottakes.bsky.social · 23/02/2026More Mar-a-Lago fashion 10411812 118
Reposted by RandyAnthony Michael Kreis @anthonymkreis.bsky.social · 20/02/2026Donald Trump illegally stole $1700 from you is a gift midterm message. 274081959 4.1K
Reposted by RandyMinnesota Star Tribune @startribune.com · 21/02/2026St. Paul police are investigating the circumstances behind life-threatening skull fractures and brain hemorrhages sustained by a Latino man as he was taken by Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents last month.startribune.comSt. Paul police investigating arrest by federal agents of man who suffered life-threatening skull fractureFederal agents say Alberto Castañeda Mondragón ran headfirst into a brick wall. He alleges he was beaten. 9311128 311
Reposted by RandyMolly Coleman @mollycoleman.bsky.social · 19/02/2026So much more to do, but some updates on what’s been done. www.startribune.com/ice-masks-st...startribune.comSt. Paul bans ICE face coverings, requires identifying badgesThe ordinance requires law enforcement, including ICE and Customs and Border Protection agents, to work without identity-obscuring masks. 615740 157
Reposted by RandyBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 19/02/2026look at my country man, we’re getting out-No Kings’d by the fuckin’ british 445246805089 24.7K
Reposted by RandyDave Levitan @davelevitan.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Getting shown up in the arena of elite impunity by *the British monarchy* is an incredible “America at 250!” achievement 125133103401 13.3K
Reposted by RandyScott Shapiro @scottjshapiro.bsky.social · 19/02/2026UK: Prince Andrew arrested. South Korea: Former President Yoon sentenced for life. Brazil: Former President Bolsonaro serving a 27-year sentence. USA: President Trump demands $10 billion payout from taxpayers. 198150385600 15K
Reposted by RandyGummy Arts @gummyarts.bsky.social · 13/02/2026Michael McDonald, 1979 Topps, in honor of his birthday today 011219 112
Reposted by RandyKeith Harris @usefulnoise.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Trump take ribeye? Bad. Trump take neighbor? Shrug. 1376 37
Reposted by RandyDante Atkins @danteatkins.bsky.social · 12/02/2026They literally dragged a minor employee out of a Target as he was wailing that he was a US citizen, roughed him up in their car, and then dropped him off bloodied and bruised in the freezing cold a couple of miles away, so miss us with this. 293601934 3.6K
Reposted by RandyCoach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Dr Oz inviting ol Jeffrey to his V Day bash in 2016 11333861015 3.4K
