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@pearell.bsky.social
59 followers 57 following 78 posts

born to stay on twitter forced to join this app

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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 29/09/2026
you're still fw poultices? it's all about broths now dude
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Two panel comic. Panel 1: news broadcast of a Chimpanzee in a suit walking to the podium of a White House briefing. Text at the bottom reads: “PRESIDENT CHIMPSKY TO MAKE STATEMENT ON TERRORIST ATTACK” Panel 2: president Chimpsky signs to the camera, “Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you.”
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Siblings or dating
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
everything is about sex, except the sex purge movie, which is about fascism
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Tal Lavin @swordsjew.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
she is covering her hair out of modesty, because she is married now, to mr sandwich
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
A diagram: On the left: fuckable On the right: not especially fuckable
Harry S Truman (twin peaks)Harry S Truman (president)
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Progressive The Noid can still happen if people want it bad enough
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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I'm afraid I have to call bullshit on the popular insinuation that Lindsey Graham was secretly gay. I had sex with Lindsey Graham and he did not enjoy it at all.
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I too was on the "Mitch McConnell is definitely dead" train but I just had a call with the man and he sounds fine. We talked about Iran, the average heat of hellfire, how it feels to be eternally impaled through the rectum with a burning trident. He looks forward to returning to D.C.!
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Doomed Mike Ehrmantraut can still happen if people want it bad enough
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 27/06/2026
It's a very dangerous Trump-era instinct to take a celebrity you and your peer group feel a lot of goodwill towards and project both good personal politics and presidential ambitions onto them. That's why I think a more realistic ceiling for johnny knoxville is ambassador to the UN
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
we are barney frank we look disgusting blue shirt before congress nipples protruding
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I’ve never seen a wikipedia article open with two uncaptioned photos before
Wikipedia article title “list of Saturday night live incidents” above side by side photos of Richard Pryor and Donald Trump
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
@pearell.bsky.social
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
leftist babes love highz speed rail until , i cum in 90 sec##$onds,zj,w, ,,a,,,,,z 1,^^÷ 4 55
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
just learned against my will that there’s a country singer named Tucker Wetmore. that is not a human man’s name, that is a drag queen
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
i don’t really have anything worthwhile to post right now. i just felt like posting
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
very nice, let's see paul allen's two-factor code
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
yorgos lanthimos obama: uhhh let me kill deer
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
why is john mulaney the new voice of kraft mac & cheese commercials
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Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Be the weirde noyses you wisshe to heare yn the forest
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Can we normalize eating beans?
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
your girl on the heaviside that’s why I lay er
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
new snack i’m calling a “car samosa”, it’s where you get a samosa from the indian grocery store for $1.25 and eat it in your car
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
"morbin' time" is the weirdest insult and it feels lowkey homonationalist tbh
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Tal Lavin @swordsjew.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
happy pride month bitches, time for me to finally say i think being trans is superior to being cis and trans people are inherently cooler
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
posts
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
my favorite part of the mandalorian and grogu is when he said “grogin time, it is” and grogued all over the place
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
what my dysphoria tells me I look like
Meat Loaf as Bob in Fight Club
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
nyc mayor that treats your nausea, call that zofran mamdani
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
who up reading the wikipedia page for balloon boy on this fine Wednesday evening
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Rob Delaney @robdelaney.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
In the mood for lunch? You could do worse than havingf a delicious Sandwich
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
niles frasier and his brother, frasier cheers
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 16/05/2026
A lot of people say that Grogu shouldn’t be allowed to be in movies because of all those Tylenol bottles he poisoned in the 1980s. But he’s paid his debt to society and been a model citizen ever since. We can’t just cancel somebody forever.
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👁️🍄🪸 @bloomfilters.plus · 14/05/2026
jerk your worthless pea protein. Instructions for the marinade: scallions, garlic, ginger, sage, thyme, scotch bonnet peppers, allspice, salt, pepper, brown sugar, nutmeg, paprika, lime
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maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
too many stupid people have money; that's why I'm launching protein cigarettes
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
just learned about the world’s largest horseshoe crab in ohio then immediately learned it’s in alabama now. why do I even bother
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Nintendo of America [Twitter/X Parody] @nintendooamerica.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
We're fighting back tears and promising our players that we will keep making high quality posts, not because it is our duty, but because otherwise the gnomes will dismantle our entire operation.
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
we are barley kirk we carry the grain
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
hi sharks, today i’m asking for one bajillion dollars in exchange for 2% of my business: fitted sheets that you can actually fold
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lizardbreath 🦎🪦🎃 @spindlypete.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
when my cousin was a little kid he had horseshit and goddamn, the two curse words he had ever heard, conflated, and he asked me do you want to know a bad word? and i said sure. and in my ear he whispered "horsedamn"
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 02/05/2026
not quite the marble I was looking for but not bad for a first try :) also it’s yummy
a loaf of inconsistently marbled rye bread, cut in half
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Several Onions @amusitr0n.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
a good name for a horse would be Kris Klipclopperston
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
who up creeping in this petty pace from day to day
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jambo @agoingondog.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
you should be able to buy a honda civic in the aldi finds aisle
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Media in my Downloads folder :steamhappy: @furry-hater.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
sphere with red paint on it with the caption: "There was no autism diagnosed before 1930. Pluto wasn't discovered until 1930, pluto causes autism."
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Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 20/04/2026
Doctor Baran Al-Hashimi written in the style of the TMNT logo
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cam @pearell.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
witnessing Haley Stevens and Jordan Acker get booed nearly off the stage at the mdp convention added a year to my life
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
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