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Paul Jay

@pauljay.bsky.social
225 followers 234 following 1K posts

I write scripts and stories and songs and jokes. I also do regular stuff

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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 2h
Tonight I went to see Big Thief at Red Rocks, one of the famously least-photographed concert venues in the world. I decided to keep that streak going by only filming this herd of deer who were gawking at our shuttle bus on the way there.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 2h
RIP Moose I miss you every got-danged day
Moose, the tiniest black terrier mix puppy in all of God’s creation, giving the camera puppy dog eyes like he fucking INVENTED them
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 11h
Sellseltzers? I dunno I’ll work on this
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 12h
Just accidentally opened a podcast in the Apple Podcasts app, and holy shit!! What a broken nightmare! Like accidentally walking into a bar you used to go to and finding that it only serves diarrhea on draft
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The Thing 💗 @rotcityriot.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Terminator 2, I was like 3 and for a long time I thought police could just Do That
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Post a meme made by you
Miss Piggy with the caption “I don’t understand any of this”
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
It me
Meme that has a woman crawling in the grass toward a house. The woman is labeled, “me,” the house is labeled, “the comfort of love,” and the grassy expanse is labeled, “the mortifying ordeal of being known.”
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Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant.lawyer · 05/10/2026
if you close your eyes he has the same voice as john cena
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Unfrozen Caveman Librarian @latefiennes.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Original Tweet: “I like Hole better than Nirvana”

Quote Tweet: “me leaving the monastery”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
My friend Dave’s review of Digger: ”it felt like a guy I met at a party that I really LOVED talking to for awhile, but then we kept talking and by the end of the night I’m really worried we already exchanged information”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If Julie Kavner tried to do the Patty and Selma voice now, it might rip a hole in the earth’s crust
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Ding ding ding
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Have you noticed Patty and Selma are not on the show nearly as much anymore
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Ray Smuckles the cat in sunglasses from the webcomic Achewood solemnly saying “Sorry, fella. Fuck you.”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I’d like to see Wemby deal with this
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I’m just sick about this.
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Tom Reagan’s Witch’s Hat @rufustsuperfly.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I am glad Terror Birds went extinct before humans came along, because I don’t have to feel guilt about my species destroying yet another one, but I also don’t have to feel terror that one of those fuckers might lunge out of the forest and scythe my fucking head off
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Not today, Satan. I’m just…I’m fucking swamped. Can we, I mean, can you call ahead next time? I might have an opening the week after next
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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I like listening to Electric Light Orchestra because it reminds me that we used to live in a world where Jeffs did beautiful things
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
SHIRT BY dashare.zone "TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR" - GET AT dashare.zone WEB SIGHT - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
BLACK TSHRIT BY dashare.zone admin - "TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR" I AM AMERICAN , I DONT HAVE A DOCTOR WHEN I GET SICK OR HURT I GO TO A BUILDING THAT USED TO SELL FAST FOOD
DESIGN BY DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN -DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This would be funnier if Tolkien had been in the habit of denying that Lord Of The Rings was informed by his experiences in World War I—it absolutely was, and he was, especially for a Brit of his time, very up front about it—but it’s still pretty funny
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olive consumer @machete.gay
1h
hello my name is jrr tolkien and i wrote a whole book series about what it would be Like if some funny little guys who just like to hang out and eat and have friends were drafted into a nightmarish conflict vastly beyond their understanding and were forever changed by it also wwi was normal for me
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theaudientvoid
There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WW! was perfectly normal.
• aro-ace-from-outer-space22
There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!
#yeah! #he didnt get into allegory y'see #j.r.r. tolkien #lotr #wwil
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Alex Zalben @azalben.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The Eisner campaign for “Sluggo’s Terible Hat” starts here
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The maga dorks think they represent the majority because whenever they go to one of their Nazi rallies, it’s full of like minded people. Kind of like how Americans thought there were plenty of passenger pigeons because they only saw them in a gigantic flock.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You gotta feel for all the many, many people who worked their asses off, for YEARS, to try to get Marvel’s Multiverse Movie Saga out the door, only to end up with a mid-credits scene in Avengers Endgame Encore that’s just like “never mind! sorry! lol”
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KAFUI 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Being bloodthirsty enough to sentence a human being to die, yet unwilling or unable to properly execute the execution due to incompetence and indifference is the most American thing I’ve ever heard, actually 🦅 🇺🇸
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amy brown 👻 @amybrown.xyz · 01/10/2026
my son (4): “WHAT’S THE BABY DOING IN THE KITCHEN?” me: “she’s just chilling” the baby (2): “I JUST CHILLING!”
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Michaela Joffe @joffeorama.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
not sure why I made this but now you have to see it
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.”
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Gretchen McCulloch @gretchenmcculloch.com · 22/03/2026
I don't normally subscribe to the "German has a word for it" thing because all languages can invent and borrow new words! That said, I can't stop thinking about "hobbyless" as an insult since I saw it a few days ago, so here you go It promotes a growth mindset!! www.tumblr.com/abbiistabbii...
user abbiistabbii: 
The Germans really cooked making "Hobbyless behaviour" an insult. It is both devastating, applicable to a wide range of people and behaviours, and doesn't resort to swearing.

Man ranting on the internet about the Superbowl halftime show or complaining that something is "woke"? Hobbyless Behaviour. Girls mocking another girl for not looking right? Hobbyless Behaviour. Mindless vandalism? Hobbyless Behaviour.

It is more powerful than "get a life" or the English "You're Sad" because it gets to the central point of the matter, and that is wonderful. Danke, Deutsch.
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🧌🥛 🏨 @comraderobot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
yeah
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Ned Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a...
Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?

Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.

You’re right, that does sound grim.

Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.

I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
My man out on the step-and-repeat serving up Peking Duckface
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Do Maine Coon cats ever walk around, or like, do anything? I only ever see posts of them, fully asleep, or at least looking stoned out of their fuckin gourds, being held up by their owners in the “look at this UNIT” position
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Fossillocator @fossillocator.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Legit video. AI spotter: the otters just pull stars out of nowhere! People who know otters: they have pockets
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank — theonion.com/nations-93-y...
theonion.com
Nation’s 93-Year-Olds Announce Plan To Crash Car Into Side Of Bank
WASHINGTON—In a joint statement outlining the mission shared by hundreds of thousands of elderly American citizens, the nation’s 93-year-olds announced a new plan this week to crash their cars into th...
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“The hell you just say?”
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
@ThoughtSlime

People who become right wing because they get annoyed by leftists are weak willed, most leftists are annoyed by leftists every single day.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Tried to think of a counterexample, came up empty. All the guys I could think of are from like the last ten years, no earlier
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Ronnie James Meow
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TheOakLeafs @theoakleafs.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
An analogy for slow Americans who don’t truly grasp our negative attitude towards them: If the family of 5 living next door includes 2 people who eat babies, 2 who quietly watch them eat babies, and 1 who vocally opposes eating babies, they’re still gonna be known as the fucking “baby eating house”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
As contemptuous narrative hand-waves go, “the multiverse is collapsing” isn’t quite on the same level as “somehow Palpatine has returned”, but it’s, uh, up there
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Art Of Coop @artofcoop.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
maybe I haven't heard that song because I have better taste than you do
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
back my book kickstarter ❤️ kickstarter.com/projects/mrlovenstein/mr-lovenstein-presents-fun
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Sasha AND John Digweed? In this economy??
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I hate meeting guys like this because I’m never 100% sure if I’m talking to the guy, or to the guy’s Stand
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jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 27/09/2026
reading this, it does seem as if “rationalism” is an elaborate intellectual architecture designed primarily to support the idea that if you were born white, male and clever then you are the genetic elite and entitled to rule.
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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Oh shit my reading doesn’t look good
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