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Paul Jay

@pauljay.bsky.social
226 followers 235 following 1K posts

I write scripts and stories and songs and jokes. I also do regular stuff

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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 1h
Ray Smuckles the cartoon cat from the webcomic Achewood, wearing sunglasses and a medallion and a track jacket, holding a crisp martini in one paw and a cordless phone handset in the other, saying “Not today, man. Fuck you.”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
I have been fully killed by the choice of photo CNN used for this story. She looks like she’s about to demand $100 million from Gotham City or else she will release her army of cybernetic raccoons
Kimberly Guilfoyle, her face lit from beneath, like a demon, like a nightmare made of Botox and Klonopin, with a headline about the White House asking her to resign.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I don’t have Mary Poppins on Blu-ray, mainly because of this cover design, which makes it look like a movie about Victorian nannies knocking over a casino
Mary Poppins Blu-ray cover with the title of the movie in like Broadway lights?? Vegas, Mary, Vegas
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Tonight I went to see Big Thief at Red Rocks, one of the famously least-photographed concert venues in the world. I decided to keep that streak going by only filming this herd of deer who were gawking at our shuttle bus on the way there.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
RIP Moose I miss you every got-danged day
Moose, the tiniest black terrier mix puppy in all of God’s creation, giving the camera puppy dog eyes like he fucking INVENTED them
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Post a meme made by you
Miss Piggy with the caption “I don’t understand any of this”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Ray Smuckles the cat in sunglasses from the webcomic Achewood solemnly saying “Sorry, fella. Fuck you.”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This would be funnier if Tolkien had been in the habit of denying that Lord Of The Rings was informed by his experiences in World War I—it absolutely was, and he was, especially for a Brit of his time, very up front about it—but it’s still pretty funny
manicpixiedckgirl
t7 Reposted by skáld
olive consumer @machete.gay
1h
hello my name is jrr tolkien and i wrote a whole book series about what it would be Like if some funny little guys who just like to hang out and eat and have friends were drafted into a nightmarish conflict vastly beyond their understanding and were forever changed by it also wwi was normal for me
1763
0216
...
theaudientvoid
There are multiple chapters that are set in hospitals where the characters are attempting to recover from injuries that never fully heal. I must once again stress that my experience in WW! was perfectly normal.
• aro-ace-from-outer-space22
There is a giant horrible mudplain full of unrecoverable and perfectly preserved dead bodies that the characters have to walk through in a land where the air is poisoned gas, and on a compLETELY UNRELATED NOTE: WWI WAS TOTALLY FINE AND NORMAL!!
#yeah! #he didnt get into allegory y'see #j.r.r. tolkien #lotr #wwil
90,924 notes
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
What scene makes you emotional no matter how many times you see it?
Pops Racer about to tell Speed he loves him
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
In the fall of 2001, I was doing a lot of “background acting”, also known as extra work, which is why I not only remember exactly where I was on 9/11, I can also show everyone. Rules Of Attraction actually filmed on the day; That 70s Show was Thursday of the same week.
Shot from the movie Rules Of Attraction, a closeup on James Van Der Beek at a college party, with an arrow pointing at a random partygoer behind him, who is me. Shot from That 70s Show of Laura Prepon at a formal holiday party, getting hit on by some random dudes, one of whom is me.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Lights your cigarette but also you can bludgeon Peter Lorre with it if he starts some shit
Huge blocky art deco table lighter that looks like it weighs more than a toddler
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Going to the Hollywood Bowl always makes me think of the moment near the end of Close Encounters, where the event director on the P.A. at the secret UFO rendezvous base says, as they wait for aliens to land, “I don’t think we could ask for a more beautiful evening, do you?”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
Thank you, dipshit instagram ad, for reminding me of my favorite canonical Blade Runner wardrobe: his famous neon slides and Dan Flashes shirt
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Yayoi Kusama is one of the two great kinds of fine artist: she found Her Thing and did it over and over and over with absolute precision, in as many ways as she could, on bigger and bigger canvases and stages and statements, and was always recognizably herself at all times
Yayoi Kusama covered in dots on a couch covered in dots in front of a painting of a pumpkin covered in dots
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Finally figured out what Wahlberg’s “By Any Means” look reminds me of
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
A cool ‘90s teen boy with long hair and a yellow flannel shirt. His cheekbones are so noticeable
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
An orange cat, whose name is Gir, hugging a stuffed toy who is also named Gir
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
If you see this, quote the energy you bring to Bluesky
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
I have long been in search of the exact outfit @billcorbett.bsky.social wears as Observer when he’s casually having some friends over to watch Sliders in his room and he is wearing THE MOST UNFINDABLE Vikings starter hat. For sale NOWHERE. It was hard even to find a pic. I might have to make my own.
Vikings starter hat from the 1990s, white crown, purple brim, VIKINGS in big yellow letters with FOOTBALL in small white letters in a dark box along the bottom, Vikings Warrior logo slightly overlapping the team name on the left
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, or Alice In Chains
The album cover of 69 Love Songs, by the Magnetic Fields.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
[to the tune of the “Largo al factotum” aria from Rossini’s Barber of Seville] BACK Movies are BACK Movies are BACK Movies are BACK Movies are BACK We thought they were GONE But they are BACK They are so BACK We are so BACK
Poster for the movie The Odyssey. It’s Bennie Safdie in a scary helmet
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Conservatives listening to “Born In The USA”
Guy in a Nazi uniform asking “are we the USA?”
It’s from Peep Show I think? I forgot. Doesn’t matter
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Every time I rewatch MST3k I change my mind about which prop I wish I owned. This week it’s Small Robot Mike
MST3K scene with Tom Servo (a robot), Crow (a robot), and Mike (usually a human but in this instance an alternate-universe version where he is a small robot who looks very much like a ventriloquist dummy with an antenna bolted to its head
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Title card from the Adventure Time episode “City of Thieves”, about a city where everyone is a thieves
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Beck is putting out his first new album in seven years and it looks like it’s gonna be SAAAAAAD
Homer Simpson in a giant novelty cowboy hat blowing an airhorn of joy
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Opus the cartoon penguin sitting blissfully in a dandelion patch saying “Dandelion break!”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Finally got my America 250 exhibit all set up
Tom Servo’s art show “CROW: A THOUSAND YEARS OF TYRANNY” featuring sharply anti-Crow works, funded by the Crow Endowment for the Arts
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Tom Servo, a red gumball machine looking robot, dressed as a wizard
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Okay who put glasses and a wig on the Third Stage Guild Navigator
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Hmm that isn’t exactly what I had in mind
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
CNN sports headline “Landon Donovan
believes the USA can win the World Cup. They just need a lot of good breaks”Homer Simpson daydreaming about winning the heavyweight championship due to his opponent dying of a heart attack moments before he could step into the ring
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
I knew I didn’t like Dwayne The Rock Johnson in a CGI Maui wig, but I couldn’t put my finger on why until today
Dwayne Johnson as Maui in a godawful wigTommy Wiseau in what is somehow not a wig
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
These two fucking jagoffs disabled replies and quotes so I had to append my thoughts here:
Two stupid resistance grifter accounts saying:

Not all Al is bad. I like using assistive Al but dislike generative Al. I do believe in science and hate Trump, Miller, and Vought. You're mean.

) 77
altNOAA
@altnoaa.bsky.social • 1d
Agreed. It's like being "pro-horse" in 1905 and rallying against the automobile. You can choose to join the Amish if you wish, but the automobile is going to revolutionize the world, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.Ray Smuckles the cartoon cat from Achewood calmly saying “Not today, man. Fuck you.”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I always kinda wanted an episode that was all about Willie’s team of hooligans
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Masculinity is a prison but if you’re lucky you understand exactly what kind of a prison it is
Still from The Simpsons. Sideshow Bob standing at the wide open entrance to the Springwood Minimum Security Prison. Nothing stands between him and freedom except…himself
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Ray Smuckles from Achewood. A house cat with a medallion and sunglasses. He is saying “Sorry, fella. Fuck you.” His interlocutor is out of frame but definitely deserves it
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Stills from the Scott Pilgrim movie where theyre talking about Ahsoka instead of Ramona
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
I’m very glad to be lucky enough to be able to go out to Hollywood on a Saturday night and be reminded that beauty exists in the world
Belle and Sebastian onstage at the Hollywood Palladium
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
[sees the new Star Wars down to 5th place in its 3rd weekend behind Masters Of The Universe and THREE YouTuber movies] …is that good
Box office results for Friday June 5 2026. 

Masters of the Universe
Backrooms
Obsession
The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act
Star Wars: The Mandalorian and
Grogu

$11,754,000
$7,974,589
$7,470,000
$4,308,461
$2,500,000, respectively
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
SLOW NEWS DAY GRIPS SPRINGFIELD
CNN screencap headline “Trump team pivoting to anti-democrat messaging for midterms”
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
Doesn’t a movie starring all three of these guys break the laws of thermodynamics somehow?
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Hey Louis CK I found what you should have said instead of most of the things you ever said
Panel from dinosaur comics where the T. rex is saying 

I must guard against such self-absorption in the future!
I GUESS THERE IS A LESSON HERE FOR US ALL!
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
I mean just LOOK AT THIS
Young Udo Kier making the camera pregnant
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
On the sad occasion of his death I think we should all know, or like me find out for the first time, that young Udo Kier was RIDICULOUSLY HOT
Young Udo Kier looking like a damn snack
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Just looked up the Colombian Exchange on Wikipedia and cannot stop laughing at this chart of, like, equivalent exports
A chart of equivalent exports from each side of the Colombian Exchange: corn for wheat, turkeys for cows, syphilis for smallpox, and of course smoking for Christianity
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Dana Gould’s tweet:

Thinking about Rush Limbaugh and how, now that he's dead, you never, ever hear about him. No one mentions anything he did.
Because what he did had no value.
It contributed nothing worthwhile to the culture. Nothing of lasting value.
He just made anger. Every day.
Rising, blooming & fading like a fart.
Then he died & was instantly replaced by a fleet of little replicas, farting fake fury five days a week.
Creating nothing of interest or artistic value to anyone.
Seriously, what an awful way to make a living.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Anyway if you haven’t read it you really should, because it’s a great detective story that also absolutely BRAINS you with passages like this
Quotation: It never takes longer than a few minutes, whenever they get together, for everyone to revert to the state of nature, like a party marooned by a shipwreck. That's what a family is. Also the storm at sea, the ship, and the unknown shore. And the hats and the whiskey stills that you make out of bamboo and coconuts. And the fire that you light to keep away the beasts.
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Paul Jay @pauljay.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
Ruby and Sapphire from Steven Universe
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