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Jordan Simonovski

@jordansimonov.ski
268 followers 780 following 155 posts

Person who does Observability things

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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 01/08/2026
Ok, so turns out mDNS is a blocking operation on an ESP32. I should have known this.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 30/07/2026
I really didn’t expect this in the company blog, but here we are clickhouse.com/blog/espress...
clickhouse.com
Instrumenting my espresso machine with OpenTelemetry | ClickHouse
Treating a Gaggia espresso machine like a distributed system: instrumenting an ESP32 with OpenTelemetry, streaming shots and whole-house sensors into ClickHouse Cloud, and putting ClickStack (plus an ...
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 20/07/2026
But what if you could use the new query streaming feature in ClickHouse to get 30+ fps? clickhouse.com/blog/clickho...
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 03/07/2026
Comic strip of a man in a Socceroos jersey lying in the foetal position with the text “lie down, try not to cry, cry a lot”
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teqnomad.bsky.social @teqnomad.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
@jordansimonov.ski great talk last night... fav slide, though there were some hot seconds due to The Simpsons
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Ash @h1twom4n.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
r/raisedbynarcissists I (14m) visited my father (48m) recently after years of no contact due to him being a narc, and it turns out he only sent for me because he needs someone to pilot a robot.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 22/06/2026
Pretty chuffed with my paint job in Meccha Chameleon tonight
A screenshot of my character in Meccha Chameleon painted into an artwork pretty well! I wasn’t found
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 22/06/2026
Blursed espresso machine project update: - Now with MQTT compatible Otel collector - Hoff Jamesman, my AI agent, now tells me where I fucked up blog.jordansimonov.ski/posts/dialli...
blog.jordansimonov.ski
Dialling In Espresso, and Sending the Whole House to ClickHouse
A grind-and-dose UX on the espresso machine, a custom OpenTelemetry Collector that funnels the whole house into ClickHouse, finer-grained shot exports, and a LibreChat agent that reads the data and ro...
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 14/06/2026
Back on my bullshit. blog.jordansimonov.ski/posts/i-put-...
blog.jordansimonov.ski
I Put OpenTelemetry in My Espresso Machine (and You Can Too)
How I put OpenTelemetry on an ESP32-powered espresso machine. Metrics, traces, and exemplars on a microcontroller, and the embedded gotchas along the way.
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Dare Obasanjo @carnage4life.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
New groundbreaking research about AI just dropped
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 22/04/2026
Feel free to give it a read and let me know if I’m missing anything or if anything seems incorrect!
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Fletcher Thompson (🔬+🐝) @fletch.online · 22/04/2026
My man @jordansimonov.ski is putting his magic developer powers to good use and has put together an excellent, no bullshit petrol vs full #EV comparison service at plugorpump.app Sources cited, actively adding useful bits right now. Great for combating misinformation. #electrifyeverything
plugorpump.app
Plug or Pump — 22 April 2026
Fleet-average EV vs fleet-average Australian car on the same assumptions. Daily pump prices, on-road consumption, regulated home tariffs.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 08/12/2025
Bouba S not Kiki S
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 26/11/2025
DevopsDays Wollongong kicking off with @kat.lol!
Kat Cosgrove giving her keynote talk with a slide behind her with the text “oh no, the cloud”
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Bookshop.org @bookshop.org · 30/10/2025
Amazon is helping fund a $300 million build of a ballroom for the White House. Independent bookstores are donating to food banks and organizations that help with food insecurity. They are not the same.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 09/10/2025
Watching the wire for the first time and Vondas is drinking what obviously seems to be a Greek/Turkish coffee. Why the fuck is he being served a drip coffee?! Immersion broken. 0/10.
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Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Got my performance review.
Old floppy drive with printed label 'Works, but makes Sad Noises'
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Ian Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 20/07/2025
This thread is incredible.
xcancel.com
Jason ✨👾SaaStr.Ai✨ Lemkin (@jasonlk)
.@Replit goes rogue during a code freeze and shutdown and deletes our entire database
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Heather Flowers (500FF DEMO OUT NOW) @hthrflwrs.bsky.social · 27/05/2025
Poster of Kiki's Delivery Service but Kiki has been replaced with Bouba from the Kiki/Bouba linguistics study. The text reads "Bouba's Delivery Service."
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The Chaser @chaser.com.au · 10/04/2025
There's always some shit going on with old mate. Full article here: chaser.com.au/general-news...
Image of Trump. Chaser Headline: "Aussies miss when morning routine didn't involve finding out whatever the fuck this cunt did today"
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Danny Thompson @dthompsondev.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
I got a bunch of interactions in a Discord chat. I guess you could say I am a pretty big deal. 😏
image is a screenshot of a discord message from DThompsonDev that says "imposter syndrome lives with me so much that I claimed it as a dependant on my taxes"
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Lorin Hochstein @norootcause.surfingcomplexity.com · 23/03/2025
Using MTTR tends to evaluate if your incident response is improving is like using stock price trends to evaluate if your software development productivity is improving. Sure, it’s an input, but hoo-boy are there a bunch of other factors that move those numbers!
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Chrononaut @chrononaut.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
Pope Francis made a brief statement from the hospital balcony:
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Jay 🦋 @jay.bsky.team · 23/03/2025
"When a complex system is far from equilibrium, small islands of coherence in a sea of chaos have the capacity to shift the entire system to a higher order." Iya Prigogine, Noble prize-winning chemist
"When a complex system is far from equilibrium, small islands of coherence in a sea of chaos have the capacity to shift the entire system to a higher order."
Iya Prigogine, Noble prize-winning chemist
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Justin Garrison @justingarrison.com · 10/03/2025
I wrote a quick guide to getting started with self-hosting. It doesn't matter what your motivations are, now is a great time to get started taking ownership and responsibility for your data. justingarrison.com/blog/2025-03...
justingarrison.com
Get Started With Self-Hosting
Taking ownership of your data and services
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Jay Foreman @jayforeman.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Our first MAP MEN BOOK, coming this October is *already* available to pre-order. lnk.to/MapMen Imagine the bliss of getting your Christmas shopping out of the way 9 months early. 🗺️ 📕
lnk.to
Map Men: The Debut Book
Go to Map Men: The Debut Book.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 02/03/2025
Holy shit! THEY CALLED IT WANX! www.404media.co/alibaba-rele...
404media.co
Alibaba Releases Advanced Open Video Model, Immediately Becomes AI Porn Machine
It took about 24 hours for Alibaba’s Wan 2.1 to become popular in the AI porn community.
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 18/02/2025
Thinking of entering my DIY renovation influencer era, though I might ruin the joy of building stuff there as I have with software 😩
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Charity Majors @charity.wtf · 18/02/2025
Any asshole can build an org where the smartest, most experienced engineers in the world can get shit done. A truly great engineering org is one where normal, workaday software engineers, with decent skills and ordinary experience, can move fast, ship code, and move the business forward day by day.
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Renee DiResta @noupside.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
Ding ding ding! Watch this. He’s laying it out. My team at Stanford Internet Observatory documented this process meticulously, over & over again, in 2020. The R machine retaliated against us. When Elon bought X, it became even sharper. The rest of the political spectrum needs to get in the game.
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Liz Fong-Jones (方禮真) @lizthegrey.com · 31/01/2025
Mow mow mow, mow mow mow mow. Nyaa?
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 25/01/2025
The rule is that you have to sing it out loud
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Cyrus Wong @cyruswong.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
Our new #opensource #RPG that transforms Kubernetes education into an exciting adventure.
buff.ly
Kubernetes Isekai (異世界): Gamifying Kubernetes Education in Free AWS Academy Learner Lab
Kubernetes Isekai (異世界) is an open-source RPG that transforms Kubernetes education into an exciting adventure. Designed for students, it offers hands-on learning through interactive tasks and dynamic…
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 10/01/2025
after days of grifters and con men at CES we stumbled upon the booth for VLC. they were all dressed as wizards and told us, "we have nothing to sell, we just decided to show up". i told them I'd been using their software to pirate media for 15 years and they said "keep doing that"
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William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 03/01/2025
Villain, I have done thy mother.
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IRIS! @sclerasound.com · 03/01/2025
damn this japanese chocolate was pretty good
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Fork Around and Find Out @fafo.fm · 25/12/2024
If your graph looks like this, your website is down. 🎄
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 09/12/2024
You really can get everything at Bunnings
Picture of metal gardening pegs labelled as “edging peg”
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 30/11/2024
Currently at the stage of house renovations where spend the morning trying to make a decision on the curtain rods we want.
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Kris Howard @web-goddess.org · 28/11/2024
Sydney tech industry legend John Allsopp kicking off today’s #webdirections Next event. It’s especially nice to hear an Acknowledgement of First Nations people during Thanksgiving week. I never once heard such a thing growing up in the US.
A man on stage at a tech event
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Warcop @warcop.com · 25/11/2024
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hailey @hailey.at · 26/11/2024
atproto and bluesky has been built by a group of extremely talented and thoughtful engineers. it’s pretty remarkable. that said, there was a key piece missing from the architecture! we forgot to first build a social app with hundreds of millions of users to advertise bluesky on.
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Susie Dent @susiedentwords.bsky.social · 24/11/2024
Word of the day is ‘librocubicularist’: one who loves nothing better than reading in bed. (Not easy to say, but I’m glad to know it exists).
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John Scalzi @scalzi.com · 24/11/2024
Fun fact: As of a few minutes ago, this Bluesky account now has as many accounts following it as my Twitter account had when I closed it. I'm really glad to be here, y'all.
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Graham Lea @evolvable.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Okay. Doing a starter pack now: Tech Peeps Downunder! It's invite-yourself-only. In Australia or New Zealand, work in Tech, and want to be on the list? Include something about your Tech work in your bio. Reply below with a link to a post by you about Tech. 🙏 for reposts bsky.app/starter-pack...
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Jordan Simonovski @jordansimonov.ski · 21/11/2024
I have zero clue how I first beat this game as a kid because my dad got me a knock off version that wasn’t even in English
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DM of Engineering @dmofengineering.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
When I’m interviewing I have a neat trick to sus out the culture really quick: Ask the interviewer “when was the last time you were paged?” If they look at their watch, run.
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