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A Groan Ass Man

@jeffstern.bsky.social
66 followers 62 following 278 posts

Seems like this is one of the places I post now Pfp is a photo of "Treachery" which is part of Nina Chanel Abney's piece "Hell Hole" Banner is a photo of a piece in Christy Laguardia's "Toxic, Beautiful" series

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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
omg, I did not realize how much I've missed Tilly
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
None of the replies or quotes mention that without this, we don't get the Dipset banger
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
I used to think the brain was the most interesting part of the body...
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
Kinda been ignoring this app, but I guess that Onion post is going around again because I keep getting notificaties (I know it's the same # of syllables, but sometimes words are modified for cuteness rather than efficiency)
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 19/11/2025
Just read all of this, glad to see you're doing something new already! Appreciate the insight into your work world from the blog post, too
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
Judgment Night soundtrack keeps coming up in conversations.
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
even though they should have given Troy Turner a better deal for those commercials
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
being an adult isn't always easy, but I have not had to deal with roaming kids pointing and taunting me with chants of "Ring around the collar!" the way I'd expected, so that's a win, I guess
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Mrs. Peel @mrspeel.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
Happy Captain Picard Day to all!! 😄
A Reddit post with a screencap of Picard in front of a hand drawn children's banner saying "Captain Picard Day". The text says: "Everyone please help us decorate 10 Forward this morning and be sure to tag Picard in all greetings. Also Ensign Barclay has a special surprise in the Holodeck later today. Let's make this the best Picard Day Ever!"A Reddit comment under the post saying: "Captain Picard Day has become way too commercial. I started seeing CPD decorations in the seasonal section at Target back in effing April. We need to return to the true spirit of Captain Picard Day, which is to make a middle-aged Frenchman feel awkward and
uncomfortable because he's still not used to interacting with children."Another Reddit comment saying: "The Admiral is coming this year! She's really excited" with a photo of an extremely unenthused admiral on a viewscreen.
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Are you sure you didn't accidentally get the mitsubishi goofus?
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
I was at an airport food court, and a lady was getting a lot of attention. I asked one of the people working there who it was, and he exclaimed "it's Nancy!" I must've stared blankly, because after a brief pause, he followed up with "Kerrigan!"
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Matt Henry 🥄 @matthenry.fyi · 12/06/2025
I’m just happy I get to know what it feels like to think a moon landing is fake
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
I'm kind of online, and kind of a movie person, but I don't see a lot of movies that most people see. And that's how it took until today to learn that what I thought was a Midsommar meme is actually a star wars meme.
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
really looking forward to seeing waiting for godot
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
Wheee! New music for the long weekend, on glittery red sawblade vinyl
Album cover for Rico Nasty's new album, Lethal (features her face with acupuncture needles inserted)Red vinyl record with glitter in the shape of a sawblade (Rico's chest pictured at the center)
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
I'd forgotten that Bill Murray was in this
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 04/05/2025
watching Wild Things on Criterion Channel...
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 01/05/2025
tfw everyone says goodbye and you're sure that you'll exit zoom first, but somehow you find yourself staring at a giant screen of your stupid face because once again you neglected the confirmation pop-up
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Nnedi Okorafor, PhD @nnedi.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
Is post-human synonymous with post-apocalyptic? Or is that just human narcissism invading the definition of the word? These are rhetorical questions, haha. Just want to interrogate the assumption that they are the same thing when they are not.
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 19/04/2025
Growing up in the 70s/80s with an older half-brother who was gay, I think the empathy extended naturally for me. I do remember reading Fletch and the Widow Bradley as a pre-teen, and it was either that or a movie of the week that gave me a specific person to consider
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
i don't get ewesky. all the bleets are like "baby sheep, never shorn." i just don't get it
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al-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 10/04/2025
stocks keep going up and down bc the invisible hand of the market is making the jacking off motion
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Just saw it at Full Frame Documentary Film fest, it was very good!
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Very young!
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 07/04/2025
Solid choice. I remember that episode, but didn't know who FW was at the time. As much as I love Bloodsport, I have to go with Ghost Dog: the way of the samurai
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_Mark 🏳️‍🌈 @marxgbaker.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
Was reminded of this all-time Tumblr post

Tumblr post from tockthewatchdog:

Top Gun is great because Tony Scott was like “I want to make a movie about sunsets” and the US navy was like “No you’re gonna make recruitment propaganda for the navy” and Val Kilmer was like “the studio has tricked me, Juilliard trained Val Kilmer, into being here, so i’m going to portray a closeted homosexual” and Tom Cruise was like “I’m in a Ray Bans commercial!”
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Frances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 30/03/2025
your ass is grass and i'm gonna touch it
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 29/03/2025
OK, Maria Chàvez + Victoria Shen + Mariam Rezaei officially surpassed this, both in terms of talent (tbh many reached that bar) and the all-important "lol, I'm grinning like an idiot"factor
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
While it's not officially part of the Big Ears music festival, hearing this dance remix of "Hey, We Want Some Pussy" while taking a break to read at Hello Tea House has been my musical highlight so far
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emily blight 🐦‍⬛ @threnody.northsky.social · 25/03/2025
[transsexual sterling archer voice] wait, wait—i had something for this.
a skeet from 5 days ago with a mother jones article headlined “scoop: trump administration moves to protect businesses accused of anti trans discrimination. 

it was my skeet. i did it. it didn’t take any special insight. 

emily quinn @threnody.bsky.social • 5d 

when they decide to say "discrimination against tesla owners is unfair collusive persecution & deserves special protection" (they will), i want folks to remember that the EEOC walked away from all cases of anti-trans employment discrimination *and* made moves to protect discriminatory businesses.
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
Sitting up front at comedy shows can be uncomfortable, especially in venues without a traditional stage. But last night, I got a fist bump from Amy Miller. Tonight, a flirty leg touch from Caitlin Peluffo. Raleigh comedy festival (@ State of Beer) was a good time
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
* well ack-shually, when I say Brr, I know it's due to *clovers* in the atmosphere
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 21/03/2025
VAN HALEN: i’m hot for teacher OEDIPUS: you’re home schooled, too?
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
Wonder what sort of atrocity her text man is
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
This is what I was gonna recommend, though I neither enjoy cooking nor consider myself "good at it." But for basic skills and why to prepare foods certain ways, this was great. I remember leaning heavily on the "beans and greens" section back in the day (@*********** got this in the divorce)
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ceej @ceej.online · 18/03/2025
first thing I did as a ghost was pass through a wall. it was cool but what they don’t tell you is that your ghost clothes don’t come through with you, so you still gotta walk all the way back around to put them back on. also the inside of the wall was gross
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
Talked to my sister yesterday and found out any time she takes the kids to an activity at a country club, they ask "is this the place Uncle Jeff yelled 'Die Fascist Pigs!'?" Apparently I yelled it out the car window as we left from picking one of them up from an activity when I visited years ago
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
Either way, structurally solid joke Funny joke, too, tho that seems not to matter as much here
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
*well ack-shully alert* If Julius Caesar is riding around with a bumper sticker referencing his future death, it only makes sense to reference a future hot spot where he'd rather be or it's the ghost of Caesar and the sticker was added 200 years after death (not quite clear)
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Amy @lolennui.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
happy pi day to all who celibate
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
Wearing a sweatshirt without a hood, and what I didn't expect was how much I miss pockets
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 11/03/2025
Hi Beck!
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
You know it!
Screenshot of 2 of last month's Scrotox posts, a botox treatment for the scrotum
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
A month ago, I made a bunch of overzealous purchases on a clothing website, and today when I got home, they were on my stoop Currently wearing the most egregious* purchase, and so very happy that I bought it all *based on cost, and also owning the same design on a long sleeve T already
Me in a pink Showgirls sweatshirt, Nomi in Goddess costume front and center 

(not pictured: back with Nomi and Cristal Connors kissing, sleeves with Nomi "all leg" showbox/poster image)
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 10/03/2025
I think pink if you want the snaps to pop, dark blue if you want something that shows the fabric at its best
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Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
wanna feel old? it used to be Crime AND Punishment
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Comfortably Boo @numb.comfortab.ly · 03/03/2025
Impressive. Via xcancel.com/The_x_Truth/...
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 02/03/2025
A Culture with Cum Baked In: The Story of Skeets
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A Groan Ass Man @jeffstern.bsky.social · 01/03/2025
I prefer the mustard
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Your daily John Waters screenshot @johnwatersbot.bsky.social · 28/02/2025
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