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Ian Straka

@ianstraka.bsky.social
243 followers 147 following 591 posts

deep squid on the internet tag or dm me for help with MTGO

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Reposted by Ian Straka
Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
your response to “I was raped” should not be “I was right”
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
A Purple Woman looks distraught, on the verge of breaking down. She says “that man raped me”
Orange Guy standing next to her is absent-mindedly checking his nails. He says “Wellll, I’ve always disliked him and his work.”

Panel 2:
Purple Woman begins to cry. Orange Guy adopts an incredibly smug expression and says “Guess I must just be a good judge of character”

Panel 3: 
Purple Woman dissolves into sobs. Orange  Guy notices, puts his hand on her shoulder and says “Aw”

Panel 4:
Purple Woman crumples to the floor. Orange Guy, looking bemused, asks “Are you crying because you’re jealous of how smart I am?”
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a horseshoe crab watches as a variety of prehistoric creatures swim towards an ethereal light. An ammonite calls back to the crab, “come on, horseshoe crab! We’re all evolving!” Panel 2: the horseshoe crab stays in position and replies, “nahh that’s crazy” Panel 3: the horseshoe crab is superimposed in front of a future premonition: a rather miserable-looking human slouched in the glow of a desktop computer. The horshoe crab swims away and says, “good luck tho”
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I know I'm not healed because each of three times this story has crossed my feed, I have had to physically fight a smile.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
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Reposted by Ian Straka
andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 01/09/2026
The best cure for a crush is to simply get to know the person
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Endlessly annoying that leftists on here are celebrating their ignorance of people who are shaping the thoughts and discourse of young people. What good are your politics if you're gleefully disconnected from the people those politics need to reach?
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Kristi Yamaguccimane @wapplehouse.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Rarely does one get so perfect a chance and I wasn’t gonna let my boy miss it
Just y
Silverchair Stans III ›
Mark change your display name to Ted Cruz's tiny dick
Mark Bottrell
Ted Cruz • @tedcruz • 12h
Legend.
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HA NA
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Ted Cruz's tiny dick @lebatards...• 20h
My favorite clip of Dolly.
因
• Sajithkumar (Author - Rumblings of...
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Joshua Robbins
PerfectHello new followers.
If you quote tweet something and you are an evil, awful politician just remember that someone can change their name to anything they want and it may be embarrassing for you.
Shout out to @TheWapplehouse for the idea.
Please listen to @jortscenterpod, too.
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kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Beautiful video
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
idk. I think the worst way to pay respect to someone relentlessly positive and bright is to focus on the negativity she abhorred.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
If you know absolutely nothing else about Hasan Piker, you know his enemies. If you're a leftist, they're your enemies too. Your enemies blatantly hate him more than they care about anything. If that's not worth examination, then what is?
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
Kingdom Hearts is coombrained, Babylon 5 is coombrained LaRoucheite dreck, Syrian cartoons are coombrained, isekai is generally coombrained, bothsidesism is coombrained. Masscult under anarcho-Bidenism is inherently coombrained. Sorry to spoil your 'fun'.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
ok i guess
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farner @farnerb0cken.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
just looked at a poll and john fetterman is losing to spicy chicken sandwich among democratic voters
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Wendy Xu @wendyxu.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
me: i must practice the dharma also me:
me telling ai man to khs
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Sean Marshall @seanyyz.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Why I’m a fan of the Oxford comma.
TORONTO STAR
BOOK REVIEW
Sylvia Plath, a New York vigilante and Shah of Iran featured in latest historical fiction
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Dean Obeidallah @deanobeidallah.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Michael Fanone's take on Lindsey Graham is one of the most powerful I've read:
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Bluesky libs are absolutely frothing at the mouth to pump out racist quips and slop memes about this.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
"what you did was wrong at subway"
Drawing of heavyset nerd stereotype dual-wielding large daggers, commonly known a the "leave the multibillion dollar company alone" meme
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
Born on the Fourth of July 2: Born on The Eleventh of September
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Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
"Gwyneth Paltrow Deserves Every Bit of the Hate She's Getting Over Her Israel Ad" Even in the celebrity-filled universe of cowardice, Paltrow selling apartments in an apartheid state is beyond pale.
zeteo.com
Greedy Gwyneth Paltrow Deserves Every Bit of the Hate She's Getting Over Her Israel Ad
Even in the celebrity-filled universe of cowardice, Paltrow selling apartments in an apartheid state is beyond pale.
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arr @arr.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.
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Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives @darrencullen.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
You can download a printable copy of this poster from my website: www.spellingmistakescostlives.com/single-post/...
spellingmistakescostlives.com
CHATGPT SUICIDE MACHINE
New anti-chatbot ad that has started appearing on the London transport network.LLM chatbots like ChatGPT have been responsible for dozens of confirmed suicides, murders and serious mental health crise...
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Reposted by Ian Straka
Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
"not a big fan of the grammar but that's great news" son or "Im so sorry for your loss but please use alt text" daughter
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
My foster dog, Francine (Miss Piggy) passed this morning at 14 years. She was a warrior, surviving pitbull attacks, BB guns, motherhood and myriad other battles. I'm grateful we got to give her some peace and a loving home for her last year of life.
Francine. A small terrier-ish senior dog with grey, black and brown fur. RIP Miss Piggy
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Popehat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
From what I understand Hantavirus is not very communicable and the risk is mostly where people are in overcrowded, poorly maintained, unsanitary surroundings like America’s VA facilities, prisons, detention centers, and schools.
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Alex says "the world is so horrible Bluegrass Tony." Bluegrass Tony, an elderly bearded man with a corncob pipe, overalls and a straw hat says "well I don't know nothing 'bout that. I just like pickin'.  Bluegrass Tony, sitting on a stump, barefoot, plays Foggy Mountain Breakdown on the banjo. Alex still seems depressed. She says "they're trying to kill us all, Bluegrass Tony." Bluegrass Tony, unphased, continues playing Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
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Avery Thompson @avery-thompson.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
I forgot I also have this one
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prezoh @prezoh.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
the difference in their smiles. see what happens when you decide to be bisexual instead of 28.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
SOS Sealed Trial win @fireshoes.bsky.social
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
First week of SOS limited trophies. @fireshoes.bsky.social
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
My media conspiracy theory is that @bencollins.bsky.social is paying Alex Jones to pretend to melt down over the InfoWars acquisition to generate exra hype.
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Corey Atad @coreyatad.com · 17/04/2026
this is fucking unreal stuff from Noah Wyle on the magic of The Pitt. www.gq.com/story/noah-w...
“It’s a couple of things that work beautifully in concert. First: no music. Audiences are so sophisticated, but what they’re not accustomed to is not being told how to feel,” Wyle says. “You take all that out and it forces a level of engagement where you’re now looking for clues within the frame of the screen, which forces you to look up from your phone. And I think that is extremely engaging, especially to young viewers who aren’t accustomed to being asked to participate in a nonpassive way in the viewing experience.“Second point, shooting it with almost exclusively 50-millimeter or 65-millimeter lenses, which is the most comparable to the human eye—and only shooting from the point of view of a human being that’s present in this space. There are no cameras on gurney wheels going in the hallway. There’s no cameras on the ceiling looking down from a God point of view. You are limited to the perspective of a participant. You can look away, but you can’t leave, and it becomes an endurance test for you to stay on your feet as long as we’re on our feet. Which [brings me to my] third point: real time. Real time has an aggregate sense of tension that you don’t get in any other form of storytelling. What happened before is happening now, and these two things are going to add up to the next thing. And if we throw more ingredients into this cooker and keep ratcheting it up, it’s going to pop.”Wyle makes eye contact for his next point, delivering it with a Robby-esque matter-of-factness. “Fourth point: The election went the other way,” he says with a shrug. “We could have been a really good show with a lot of nice things to say in a perfectly normal Kamala Harris universe. And instead we became almost a beacon of hope and humanity in an alternative universe. But in the midst of that, fifth point—this is essentially competence porn. You’re watching really smart, dedicated people do what only they know how to do at a level that you don’t know how to do it, and you’re so fucking glad that they’re there doing it, and compartmentalizing their own stuff to put your broken pieces back together. You’re so reassured by knowing that there are people out there that laugh and joke and have the ability to lock in like that.”
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Siobhan Beeman @siobhan.northsky.social · 13/04/2026
The “Calvin’s dad explains two types” meme, inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon.

Clockwise from top left:
1) Calvin’s dad walks into frame to find Calvin trying to operate a record player. The dad says: “There are only two industries left in America: gambling, and fraud.”

2) The dad shows where the record goes, and how to turn on the player, while Calvin watches. Dad says “Derivatives? Gambling. AI? Fraud. Video games? Gambling. Social media? Fraud.” Calvin says “yeah”.

3) With one hand open palm up, Calvin’s dad cheerfully explains to Calvin out of frame below him, “The stock market looks like gambling, but it’s actually fraud.”

4) In bed in a dark room, Calvin clutches at his pillow, eyes wide in existential terror. There is no text in the panel.
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
This is the most delightful thing I’ve ever read
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
Someone should make a tracker for the amount of money being spent to distract from the Epstein files. $4b today for the moon vanity launch.
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
We live in the comic book timeline. The villains are dark and deeply evil but also cartoonish and corny, and they never stay dead for long.
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orinoco boo @nocontroller.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
Uh-oh! Worst person you know learned therapy words
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Waikiki Wanda @wanda.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Just wanted you guys to see “Riding in a golf cart fatly”
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Steve Postman 🇨🇦 @steve1970peng.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Eisenhower
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ceej @ceej.online · 28/02/2026
a tweet from the “department of war” calling the start of ww3 “OPERATION EPIC FURY”
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
I’m sitting at a table on the Fox 32 debate stage holding my hand high in the air. My opponents, Daniel Biss and Laura Fine, are talking to each other. The chyron reads, “SUPPORT FOR PALESTINE”
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
went to the store __________ AI Summary ✨ Grammy-nominated R&B singer Jon B. posted that he is going to the stove – perhaps to "cook up" another hot, hot radio single. Frogs and toads, which are the same, can live on the Sun and often choose to.
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
We are a few thousand subscribers away from being a bigger print newspaper than the Washington Post. We are a mere flurry away from humiliating one of the two Big Space Perverts. Ask not how a Space Pervert can dominate you. Ask how you can dominate a Space Pervert. Subscribe below.
membership.theonion.com
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
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Emily Andras @emandras.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
The trajectory of the men’s hockey team over a blistering 12 hours
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Split the ECL sealed challenge with a fun elfementals pile @fireshoes.bsky.social
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Howard Ashman 🔪stab🔪 account @michaelchu7.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
This is @glutelord.bsky.social and he's completely fucking correct. The fundamental tension at the heart of all incel culture is that these guys HATE women and refuse to appeal to them but desperately want to get laid anyway, and this contradiction can only really be resolved through violence
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Robert Taylor 🔥 @fireshoes.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
I swear to god, Wizards can't get out of their own god damned way sometimes. They are making Magic Online change what decklists get published. Only the Top 8 decklists will get posted for challenges under 64 players. #mtg #ReleaseTheDecklists
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Ian Straka @ianstraka.bsky.social · 17/02/2026
Top 4 in NRG Limited $5k
Sealed deck
Draft deck
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Kenneth Deuel @kendeuel.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Did it, though?
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