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Hollis Black

@hollisblack.bsky.social
193 followers 500 following 205 posts

They/them, occasionally a writer, persistently tired.

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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
I’m really glad there’s an awkward for casting directors now. But also, imagine being an actor who got turned down from the winning film. “That woman won an Oscar for saying I should not be in this movie.”
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
We Need to Talk About Kevin 2 Need 2 Talk About Kevin We Need to Talk About Kevin: Tokyo Drift Talk & Kevin KeVin Five Talk & Kevin: 6 Kevin Seven The Fate of the Kevin K9 Kevin X
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Between well payed lawyers and good behavior, Jared from Subway is released from jail. “Ok Jared. Just keep a low profile, live a quiet life,” he says to himself. He looks in the mirror, over his shoulder he sees the giant pants, looming like the Green Goblin mask.
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God Forgives Reese Kills @reesevryder.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
The only thing that bring us back from the brink is the the return of Kitty Horrorshow.
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foaming pipe snake @guntoucher.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
cropped customer review from George Hotelling march 14 2010

So, (spoiler alert) the sun is going out and the people on the spaceship are going to restart it and save the earth. They have a lot of challenges to overcome like in any movie, and then they overcome them. But here's the thing about the movie that you won't believe: no one ever looks really serious and says "It's daylight saving time."

Not one character. No one says "It's daylight saving time." In the entire movie. I know you don't think it's possible, but if you watch it you'll feel like you wasted 4 hours of your life (time moves slower when you're waiting for someone to deliver an amazing line). What were the writers thinking!?
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🍃K.R.E.A.M.🍃 @kash2dawizzle.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 07/09/2025
The new Toxic Avenger rips so hard. We need more gory movies with Looney Tunes humor in the world.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
At a baby shower, heard somebody’s teenaged kid refer to Old Greg as “brain rot for old people.” Feeling some kind of way about that.
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Lincoln Michel @thelincoln.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Okay, I've deleted my earlier post. Apparently, this is *not* a pipe. But the fact that I thought it was says a lot about society.
The Treachery of Images painting by René Magritte
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
I like that in Final Fantasy VII, one of the members of Shinra’s board knows that what they are doing to the planet is horrible, and so he goes, “I am going to stop the senseless bloodshed, no matter what it takes. I am going to make robot cat, and make it ride a fucked up little guy like a horse.”
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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 03/08/2025
you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am
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Trung Le Nguyen @trungles.com · 01/08/2025
I kinda think the way people use ChatGPT is sort of aspirational because it seems to emulate the way rich people have sycophants lying to them all the time until they lose touch with reality and also their entire minds
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jeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 17/07/2025
i edited the Bill Gates scene in The Social Network so that it's the guy from Nathan For You
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Sherrilyn Ifill @sifill.bsky.social · 29/06/2025
This.
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onion person @junlper.beer · 25/06/2025
you’re telling me republicans are now going to call democrats communists since zohran won? they’ve never done that before it might be over
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L @banalplay.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
Everyone is qualified to weigh in on everything. Disagree with a kid's prescribed medical treatment? You're qualified. Blow that whistle! A person you don't know died? Get those accusations out there!
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👻Calvinboo Congress👻 @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
The Venture Brothers are older than ICE
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Your Internet Friend Tom Tomorrow @tomtomorrow.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
Trump: I have launched nuclear weapons at Tesla. Very smart political knowers: they're just trying to distract us from other things.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
Guys! Guys! Stop fighting! It’s not a competition! Don’t you see? You’re BOTH in the Epstein files, you both made it.
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Ernest Luckman @ernieluckman.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
you dont think your life is like the matrix but then one day you're watching two weirdly powerful people fight inside a computer
morpheus is fighting neo!
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Listen. I have an idea.
Script outline. The text reads:

INT. TRUCK STOP RESTROOM - DAY
Austin stares into the mirror, he runs his hand slowly over his face and then checks his yellow teeth. He steps outside. “White Noiz” plays in the background on a moog synthesizer.
EXT. FOGGY PARKING LOT OVERLOOKING CANYON
VANESSA (V.O.)
In my restless dreams, I see that town. Silent Hill. You promised you'd take me there again someday, But you never did. Well I'm alone there now... In our 'special place'... Waiting for you...  
AUSTIN
I got a letter. The name on the envelope said 'Vanessa.' My wife's name... It's ridiculous, couldn't possibly be true... That's what I keep telling myself... A dead person can't write a letter, it’s just not cricket. Vanessa was replaced with a fembot three years ago. So then why am I looking for her? Our “shagadelic place”... What could she mean? This whole town was our shagadelic place. Does she mean the park on the lake? We spent the whole day there. Just the two of us, Burt Bacharach, and a Swedish made penis enlargement pump that didn’t belong to me, staring out at the randy water . Could Vanessa really be there? Is she really alive... waiting for me?
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
I’m home from the hospital, a proud new father. I wanted to share the joy with the world, however I did not want to dox my partner or my newborn son in the process, so to be careful and protect their safety I have added The Prodigy from the 1996 Firestarter music video to our first family picture.
A picture of myself, my partner, and my son. Both my partner and my son’s faces have been replaced with The Prodigy making insane faces at camera.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 28/05/2025
if the musk-trump coalition continues to fray i suspect we will see a lot of "i was at DOGE" tell-alls and i think a useful heuristic for understanding them will be "anything that makes elon look like a freak is true" coupled with "anything that makes DOGE employees look like lesser freaks is a lie"
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 28/05/2025
If your response to this is “red states got what they voted for,” your indifference to human suffering makes me sick.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
My kid’s gonna be born tomorrow. Youth is strange and fleeting. Felt the itch to make up some screamo riffs. Sort of a goodbye to the times when I could drive three hours out to play a show to thirty or so people and scream and be messy and be loud. Gonna miss it. Time for the next chapter.
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Hari Kunzru @harikunzru.bsky.social · 23/05/2025
I’m finding it hard to motivate myself these days because everything is just so stupid
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REBECCA DOODLES @rebeccadoodles.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Hire me @redbull.com
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 03/05/2025
Yesterday I did stand up comedy for the first time in about four years. Today I got fired from my job. Feels like a sign. A sign that the universe hates comedians, and it will make you pay a karmic toll if you do that. And honestly? Fair.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Just did standup for the first time in like three or four years. It was fine. I think I had an ok set, but I was number thirty four out of thirty four on the list, so I basically yelled jokes at four very tired people.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 29/04/2025
Boy, that episode of The Rehearsal must have had some huge backlash for Paramount, probably the biggest backlash they’re gonna deal with all day, let me just take a big sip of coffee before I search “Paramount”.
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Noah S. McKinnon (the S is for scary) 🇵🇷🇨🇺 @nsmckinnon.latinsky.app · 22/04/2025
It’s pretty awesome that the same administrators who spent a decade telling me my job is to endow my students with a lifelong love of learning and independent inquiry, because that’s what a good person would do, now want me to let them just ask the planet-boiling addictive theft machine everything.
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Nat Brehmer @natbrehmer.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
When Clive Barker was working on the MUMMY remake for Universal in the early '90s, he had a trans character in the script, and when the studio vetoed it, he basically said "I really can't stress how much I don't need to fucking make THE MUMMY" and left.
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God Forgives Reese Kills @reesevryder.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
Day 3 of the fundraiser. Please share. Please break into homes and leave this link among the resident's drug stash. If you can't donat, embrace me in this beautiful terrifying fleeting life. Going to do a fundraiser stream this Saturday
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 17/04/2025
I think today’s episode of Sixteenth Minute of Fame is funny because @tayzonday.com keeps going, “So to put it crudely…” and then follow it with some of the most eloquent explanations of structuralism, oligarchy, dialectics, and algorithm-driven panopticons.
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jab lung @mobute.bsky.social · 16/04/2025
"Sneaky tactic" is part of the same brain rot as Beltway analysis that begins with, "Well, it's morally vile and statutorily plainly illegal, but we'll only apply those labels after the fact if it doesn't work. If it does, it becomes simply bold or clever."
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
It’s killing me that I don’t have any friends who have finished 1000xRepeat and there’s no subreddit for it. I primally need to talk about this thing.
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Zach Heltzel @zachheltzel.bsky.social · 11/04/2025
“Baffling he would dedicate 40 minutes to this.” - guy who has dedicated 10 years to this
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acabylon 👻👻 BOO 👻👻 @acabylonbee.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
what a soft wet baby
Tech billionaire Elon Musk called Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz a “huge jerk” for being “overjoyed” about the downward trend of Tesla stocks.

“I mean, you have Tim Walz, who’s a huge jerk, running around on stage with the Tesla stock price, where the stock price had gone in half, and he was overjoyed,” Musk said during an interview with Fox News on Friday.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
Sometimes if something hurts or startles my girlfriend she’ll go “ow,” but she’ll say it like Earthworm Jim when he gets hit in the old games. I told her this, and then I had to explain who Earthworm Jim is, and then I had to find a clip of him getting hit. Just the longest walk for my bullshit.
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Eli Erlick @elierlick.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
This story gets so much worse. The trans woman who she refused to fence only finished in 24th place. Stephanie, the forfeiter, also beat *multiple* cis men in a regional match just one week earlier! And conservatives just paid her $5k for her kneel. Why is nobody talking about this?
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Got a job at a staffing agency, which started off pleasantly, helping companies find talent. Over the last three or so days I’ve hit an uptick in people going, “Shut the fuck up, we aren’t buying anything, we boiled our shoes for lunch today.” Cool! Regular!
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 05/04/2025
Pretty cool that visual representations of our stock market look like when an Angel attacks in Neon Genesis Evangelion and all their screens freak the fuck out about it.
Wall to wall red hexagons that read “EMERGENCY” in their centers.
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Neco-Tan - LowPoly #EnVTuber @tannerofthenorth.bsky.social · 04/04/2025
You cannot make up that the official, Toei-lead English Language Kamen Rider Twitter account that JUST got made already got taken down because they shared a video of him Rider Kicking a Nazi from a 1971 episode. Holy shit.
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Isi Baehr-Breen @isibb.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Corey Booker voted this afternoon to keep sending bombs to Israel, which is much, much more meaningful and important than a speech about values, even if it did last 25 hours.
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Max Dubler 🏳️‍🌈 @maxdubler.com · 03/04/2025
Tapping the sign.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 03/04/2025
Cool way to learn that we have a stock that represents fear and volatility.
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Hollis Black @hollisblack.bsky.social · 28/03/2025
About a half hour into my first play of 1000xResist, and am immediately reminded of one of my personal art rules: I don’t have to understand the narrative or lore right out the gate, as long as I feel like the creator does. Everybody says this game rips, and so far, yeah, seems like it’s gonna rip.
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Better Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
What if the secret to winning elections is somehow Trump's syntax. We need a guy to say stuff like "But we're going to abolish billionaires and we'll be doing it very soon. They'll be paying very high taxes but it'll be very fair. And frankly they haven't paid taxes in a very long time"
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