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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty

@cheaplaughter.bsky.social
107 followers 144 following 865 posts

She/her. “Who will bring redemption? The jesters.”

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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I need an actual adult to take Discord away from me for my own good
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
My kid’s school (mandatory uniforms) tried to implement an immediate “no uniform hoodies worn in school” rule but those hoodies were EXPENSIVE and almost all the kids wear them and the WhatsApp chat is POPPING OFF today
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I wonder if painting “GO TO SLEEP YOU DUMB BITCH” on my ceiling will help with insomnia
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Joshua Erlich @joshuaerlich.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
get in folks, we’re breaking new ground in state created danger doctrine
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
God I’m so glad my ideology doesn’t require me to pretend to think this quote is profound
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Me and my friends would have killed Liberty Biberty with hammers I can tell you that much
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binp @binp.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
understandable
Bloody urine (haematurea) was recorded by Ancient Egyptians in papyri 5,000 years ago. They called it Aaa. The first scientific report
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 05/09/2026
Precious little time left on this earth… must… write WSJ op-ed… encouraging parents to let their children get brain damage…
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Legitimately do not understand people encouraging their kids to get CTE for an infinitesimally small chance of fleeting glory
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Oh my god this fucking week Wave after wave of bullshit I would like to be put into a coma until next week please
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[toyota carroll] (6,5,,) @iamtherog.com · 25/08/2026
It straight up pisses me off that Dolly Parton was doing this stuff for the past 30 years while the biggest assholes in the world became billionaires whose only charitable contributions are to their own tax-exempt organizations (that they receive tax benefits for donating to & "volunteering with".)
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
I’ve been rooting for the new Reading Rainbow guy since forever and truly wish him love and light but holy fuck I think he needs to be banned from social media for his own well-being at this point
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
My parents got my 7 year old into watching America’s Funniest Videos and I have had to explain SEVERAL times now that the people did not die, they aren’t allowed to show it on TV if the people die, I feel insane
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
This is easily the second-worst thing a guy who played Lex Luthor has ever done
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Innsmouth Looksmaxxing @gonebabygone.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
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The Lexorcist @lexidarlingxoxo.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
i dropped dobby out of a biplane into a pen containing a bunch of ravenous junkyard rottweilers
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
My pediatricians office has generally ignored every single thing that the administration has tried to implement re: vaccines and I hope they’ll keep doing it but holy shit am I glad my kids snuck in under the wire with all shots and I don’t have to worry about this new bullshit
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
I learned about alpha school today and boy, is that shit depressing
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
“The theatre needs to show other films and even if it didn’t the audience likely have obligations that require them to leave the theatre eventually”
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
What kind of psychopath does this to banana bread, I just wanna talk…
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Keith @mosheroperandi.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
I’m just gonna say it, the odds of these kids being normal are not fucking great
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Alan Ritchson is Chris Pratt if Chris Pratt was hotter, funnier, and had better political views
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Guys I’m still really sad about Glen Hansard and I cannot be taking this energy into the weekend 😭
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
If you have kids, now is the time to monetize their art! My 4 year old will draw the absolute shit out of your event poster for $15
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Also, I fucking hate motorcycles
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Are her kids supposed to kill her
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 29/07/2026
Oh my god I am not taking this Glen Hansard news well at all for some reason 😞
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 28/07/2026
linkedin is where unbaptized babies go when they die
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Grant Marek @grantmarek.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
"This is waste on an unimaginable scale. And if our tech overlords aren’t kept in check, they’ll waste everything we have." via @drewmagary.bsky.social www.sfgate.com/tech/article...
sfgate.com
If you don't hate data centers yet, boy do I have news for you
SFGATE columnist Drew Magary writes the hater's guide to data centers.
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Might be pivoting from birdwatching to train graffiti as my middle age “watching” hobby
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Might not make it two weeks, might just rage quit, Jesus take the wheel
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
post by leyawn

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say lindsey graham died from smoking a cigar because the cigar exploded in his face and his pants and socks and underwear flew off and then he dropped the cigar on his penis which also exploded. don’t say stuff like that

reply by leyawn

good morning everyone. his penis exploded
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
I think the problem with the Rock is that the Rock still thinks he’s really cool while John Cena realized that he’s a ridiculous human being and did interesting things with that and Batista realized he was a ridiculous human being and decided to become Daniel Day Louis
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
What if I don’t resign but instead just completely ghost them in a couple weeks, that sounds better to me than having a whole conversation about stuff
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Guys I’m listening to David Gray on repeat please help me
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ceej @ceej.online · 09/07/2026
being in the DSA is fun because you get to spend most of your time helping people with social anxiety canvass for democratic school board candidates and then go online to see people with blue wave emojis in their bios compare you to pol pot
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
There’s still time for Mitch to accept the Light of Islam
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the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
[Werner Herzog voice] the beer which the dog sold to millions is tasteless and unpleasant to drink. lost in his memories the animal once known as spuds wonders of his life has been lived in vain
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Matt @mbunchanumbers.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Pausa de hidratación
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Alejandro Jodorowsky’s Minions: The Rise of Gru
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Brosephine so scary 🎃 @joparkerbear.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Can’t sleep? Simple methods that work: • study hurricane forecast • who hates me • what did i forget • relive supreme humiliation • win 12-yr-old argument • buried alive? could happen • what i did vs should have done • dead people i miss • what if i’m bad • why do i say stuff • what’s my fuckin deal
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Asher HELLbein @asherelbein.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
This is NOT what the FIFA World Cup is about. The FIFA World Cup is about *opens history book* uh oh *Frantically starts flipping though pages* uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
I was put into a text group for my current job and everyone is texting horrible AI generated Happy 4th of July graphics and I really want to just text the video of James Earl Jones reading “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July” but I’ll lose my healthcare
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Thrilled to report I will be accepting an offer to work for my mortal enemy, might be a sign of the apocalypse
media.tenor.com
a duke basketball player in a superhero costume holds a basketball
ALT: a duke basketball player in a superhero costume holds a basketball
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Lmao this dusty old cunt
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Burping Contest Winner, Eudora Welty @cheaplaughter.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Helpful context that York County, SC is right across the border from Charlotte, NC (Carowinds makes a big deal of how close they are!) so it’s not like this the backwoods
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