Reposted by CatrosewrightHaunted Hannah 👻 🍂🎃 @hannahposts.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Sometimes i think about how weird it is that I don't live in Asia. Most people do 7273
Reposted by Catrosewrightdonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 15/07/2026“Love yourself, you piece of shit,” he whispered angrily to himself 19522
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 14/07/2026holy shit Spotify you couldn’t have missed the point more @maintenancephase.bsky.social 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 05/07/2026in 2006 my family went to Italy and Italy won the World Cup in 2010 my family went to Spain and Spain won the World Cup this year my family went to Norway… 🇳🇴 🇳🇴 🇳🇴static.klipy.comHaaland EyesALT: Haaland Eyes 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 02/07/2026the U.S. red card was actually due to the shocking lack of aura from our fans (relative to other nations) we will never have the Paraguay Tranqui guy and we deserved to be penalized for it #worldcup 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 01/07/2026you know how sometimes in a dream you try to run but you can barely move now imagine that but it’s you trying to punch yourself in the face that’s right folks, I had the funnniest possible Sad Dream in the universe 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 30/06/2026gf said they’re spraying the spray that makes you play football 011
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 20/06/2026in more NEVER KYS news: 2 European babies in the Amsterdam airport; one dad says “I’m sorry, I don’t speak your language,” the other dad says “it doesn’t matter, they both speak baby” 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 18/06/2026in NEVER KYS news: a 96-year-old woman told me she used to have a dog named Patty, and her family got a boat at her cabin named Patty Waggin’ (because the dog was always wagging her tail) 🥲 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 17/06/2026“rape culture isn’t real” one of the highest-rated and most beloved James Bond films (Goldfinger) features a corrective rape of a lesbian (who is canonically a victim of childhood SA) and per the movie, it fucking WORKS 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 16/06/2026crying my little eyes out at work then I remembered to do a Mental Health and I was like wow I can’t remember the last time I cried at work; it used to happen a lot more. I am forced to accept a Winstatic.klipy.comLaupikora: Hide the Pain Harold MemeALT: Laupikora: Hide the Pain Harold Meme 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 12/06/2026I went to a David Hockney exhibit in London where you could go through a room where a film he took of a canopy of trees played across the whole ceiling & the walls, as if you were moving under it yourself I’ll never not think of him and his love of nature when I see trees in beautiful sunlight :’) 110
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 07/06/2026sister and I were talking shit about our aunt and the 8yo niece goes “don’t talk bad about people behind their backs!” we legit had no comeback, like damn ur right. she was SO pleased with herself we had nothing to say niece 5 seconds later: [boy from school] is such a POOPOOHEAD 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 02/06/2026my unemployed girlfriend and my unemployed roommate are having a diva off in the temp agency Excel Assessment 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 30/05/2026you know the play is over soon when somebody onstage throws a bunch of shit all over the floor 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 25/05/2026just bought lemonade off a child who was selling it $3 a cup and had a QR code set up for Venmo payments when did I become 1000 years old 010
Reposted by Catrosewrightpixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Inspired by the Enhanced Games I am launching NASCAR for drunk drivers 351245146
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 25/05/2026overheard a sentence I didn’t know existed: “I finally found a veteran’s horsemanship group that’s not secretly religious” 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 23/05/2026plz don’t cancel me but I have to say: season 5 is the worst season of Hacks by far?? -why is each episode 45 min. but with sitcom ass beats -M*g St*lter is one of the funniest women alive but she cannot pull off dramatic acting -LA writers doing cringey Hollywood navelgazing (many such cases) 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 22/05/2026sometimes you get really into spirituality so then you have to sit in the dentist’s chair and contemplate why it was important to the Divine that we as a humans race lie down and have our teeth poked at with metal instruments while the 2004 hit “Let Me Love You” by Mario plays over the speaker 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 22/05/2026multiple men at the Aurora soccer game in a jersey they spent money on to have a woman’s last name displayed across their back … something about that is very healing to me 000
Reposted by Catrosewrightcait (and adonis) @cait.bsky.social · 21/05/2026so-called "free thinkers" when there is a tiny bird outside 172635198
Reposted by CatrosewrightNetscape @netscape.bsky.social · 20/05/2026Don’t really care if you use DoorDash or not but you should have Catholic Guilt about it 221921205
Reposted by CatrosewrightBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 20/05/2026A lot of grocery store nacho cheese containers say “DO NOT MICROWAVE IN THIS CONTAINER. DO NOT DO THAT” and they can say that as much as they want but I don’t think they’ve grappled with how little the average grocery store nacho cheese enthusiast has to lose 551762153
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 20/05/2026oooh my god, every time your improv scene partner walks through a table that was previously set up through space work, you make them a ghost?? should we throw a party? should we invite Del Close 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 19/05/2026my theory remains near undefeated; Men and only Men will learn the fuck out of an instrument, study it for years, get really really good at it, then be like, “and yeah I can probably sing too” (they cannot) 010
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 19/05/2026(to the tune of “Rainbow Connection”) 🎶Rainbows are pri-i-sons but only illusions🎵 “Hey folks. I’m Michel Foucault—“ 020
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 18/05/2026last night it was raining and the window was open and my cat was sitting on my girlfriends lap while she was working on her computer and I was like holy shit I’m in the middle of a lofi hip hop mix beats to relax/study to video 030
Reposted by Catrosewrightdonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 16/05/2026I'll never forget this one time 14 years ago when I was calm and confident for like 5 minutes 1456
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 16/05/2026improv 101 students came to the show tonight and asked if we “text each other the movie references we’re going to make beforehand” 🥺🥲 000
Reposted by CatrosewrightJerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 15/05/2026go ahead, keep adding tasks to my to do list. i will only get sleepier 25991165
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 15/05/2026I was completely stuck on a comedy writing thing, caved and asked ChatGPT for help. its ideas were so fucking garbage, it made me angry enough to prove I could easily write my own. and I did. is this what people mean when they say LLMs improve your “workflow” 000
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 15/05/2026I’m sorry but this poster being up in the memory care center where I work is such a darkly funny choice; people with dementia who are wandering are pretty objectively lost 🥴 100
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 12/05/2026why does going into work on a warm morning feel like summer camp 000
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 11/05/2026I forget you’re not really supposed to share stuff with your coworkers like “I haven’t been to the dentist in 10 years” because they’ll be like omg what the fuck why and you can’t really just be like “oh right, I forgot some people are not mentally ill” 000
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 11/05/2026I love using all my little Apps: Bluesky is where I go to check on the Woke, X is where I go to check on the Mentally Ill, and Threads is where I go to check on the Woke & Mentally Ill 000
Reposted by CatrosewrightPaul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 10/05/2026Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who are doing the best they can! And to everyone who is separated from their mom by death, by choice, or for any other reason: you are not alone. LIFE IS COMPLICATED! 121431146
Reposted by Catrosewrightjenny tightpants @jtp.bsky.social · 10/05/2026they keep coming out with new bullshit cannabinoids 123279
Reposted by Catrosewrightdonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 09/05/2026We just keep wearing our little shirts and pants and doing our best 210326
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 09/05/2026when people stop somewhere and (illegally) use the handicap loading area to park, I park in the handicap spot (I have a placard), go inside, wait till they get back to their car, and then just hit my Lock button over and over so my car honks at them as they scurry away. is this doing the work 000
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 05/05/2026my cat has been using her cat tree incorrectly for like six months, only using it to sit on top of a part not meant for sitting (creating a big dent). then seemingly overnight she started using all of it, as intended. did she read the instruction manual over the weekend 000
Catrosewright @catrosewright.bsky.social · 04/05/2026read this tweet and let out a large sob, how soon do we think I’m getting my period 000
Reposted by CatrosewrightGhoulothy @landbeforetim.myatproto.social · 01/05/2026Bring back the ancient knowledge 56165087378